Alone, struggling, hate myself

[HoopHopes]

Title just sums it up :-(

Hello. Anything in particular?

Struggling to cope more and more. Some difficult events taken away my limited coping mechanisms. And when everyone ignores one's birthday it makes it obvious I am not important.

Glad you that you came here so that you can find another way of coping. I hate it when people don't make a fuss of my birthday. It can be that they do think you are important just forgot your birthday?When you feel low its easy to jump to conclusions.x

I live on my own thesedays so no one to bother, it just reinforces it. Hate the fact I am so unimportant to others, that they cannot manage one text message.

Not a conclusion, fact. But sorry I should not have posted.

I am sorry HoopHopes.
I most definitely value you on MN if that helps.
We seem to choose some of the same threads to post on, and I sometimes breathe a sigh of relief that you are on the thread too.
hth

Hey don't go disappearing on me' I was just starting to get to know you
It will take a while but if the people around you are like that then its time you took baby steps to get ne people around you!!

OP, you are one of my favorite posters on here[I have been different names].
I am surprised that you dont have people in your life who you say dont care about you.
Do you want to speak some more about that

How are things now? It's pure fluke I saw this (but didn't see it other day when I posted on our thread - if I'm not up to 'cruising' I'll just log in to post something on our thread). Am trying to remember all your good advice so I can regurgitate it back. Has something happened to dh again? Worried now that you're by yourself again.

Another night with head spinning. Asked a friend if could see her, in day, got a resounding " no, too busy having nice time'. And only other person has not bothered to reply. As usual, only replies when wants something. That is it.

Out of energy, cannot keep pretending all is well when all I have is aching loneliness.

Oh gosh HH no wonder you're head's spinning . Your friends sound familiar. Nice family set-ups by chance? We have to keep pretending though hun don't we? If we didn't it'd be long over for us. Please don't make any rash decisions. Really, really truly. It's sooo hard being single-parent with mh issues. x

What has ds done today to make you smile? I'm going to bed now but glad i saw your post before i did

Ds cuddled me! In tears as I write that

Glad your ds cuddled you. That is lovely.

I dont know any of your back story, if you have written any on here.
And I dont know your family set up at all.
I shall take a look.

You come across as very friendly on here, and very kind.
Perhaps the area you live in is not the friendliest area. Areas do vary across a country.

I only know you on here as you are so very helpful to other people. I didnt know you struggle yourself. Perhaps that was a bit silly of me.

Morning Hoops, It is sooo bad that pain of lonliness isn't it? I had to leave dh 2 years ago after 35 yrs together (30 married) and sometimes the pain was so bad I thought it would crush me.
I now have a group of friends that I didn't even know before and they are lovely. its only just happened very slowly and it did take huge effort to step out but I am now starting to see the benefit.

I would urge you to take all the strength you can find and do one thing today to meet new people.

How old is ds?

Had a short look. Hope that is ok.

Do you have Bpd?
Dont know much about that.
You seem very fine on MN most of the time. Is this just a blip you are going through?
Has something happened to trigger it, or does it just sort of flip anyway? Might you need to see your GP?
And is that why you're feeling especially lonely?

A couple of months ago you said you have a lovely partner. Is he able to help you?

btw, you sound a lot younger than I envisaged. [I am more like cjel's age].
You sound on here, very mature for your age. I do think you will be able to work through, and overcome whatever is upsetting you.
hth

Yellow - Are you 25as well

yep, 25!

Hi I am 40. No I do not have bpd, my diagnosis seems to change depending on who I see. The useless Cpn I saw said it was bpd, psychiatrist did assessment eventually and said no! I have PTSD, depression and anxiety. Was off medication when pregnant and never gone back on any. As single parent I cannot use prn stuff anyway.

What is prn?

prn

Cuddles are lovely HH. I'm not in a good way today but desperately wanted to check in on you. What's happening with your meds? I thought you'd sorted them with the psych now.

Would it help to talk through what's happened with dh?

Sorry i mena do you wantt o talka bout dh not with dh x

Goodnight Hoops. Heres hoping tomorrow is betterx

Just cried tonight that is all. Meds were sorted but needed adding to which has not been done and psych never wrote to gp so can't get it that way! So only on low dose of mirtazapine and meant to be reviewed and another one added in.

Cryings ok?! Get in touch with psych so that meds can be sorted. Do you have counselling? It sounds like your situation may be adding to your low mood at the moment?

Psych is off ill so cannot - my appointment was cancelled last week. No counselling, had some but sessions ended - had 5.