ive never felt so alone and unhappy

[spacecadet]

following on from my thread yesterday, i guess i am depressed, i feel like ive got a black cloud over my brain, i dont want to get up in the morning, im going to bed early at night but im not sleeping and i feel permanently exhausted, i cant stop crying and crying, what the hell is wrong with me, i feel so miserable, i keep thinking about my old place, then i think omg, ive made a terrible mistake and i cant reverse it, mum came over today and even that didnt cheer me up, i kept wishing she wasnt there and thinking, why did i move up here, i had to sell my house for financial reasons but i wish id stayed in the area now, i feel guilty that i uprooted the children, took them away from their friends, its all down to me, its my fault that my dd is being picked on at school, i took her away from her school when she only had a year to go and had lifelong friends, i feel so guilty and miserable.

have told dm where to get off in the heat of the moment, might as well be hung for a sheep.

sounds very tough - especially feeling let down by your mum. It sounds like you really built this move up and i have learned from bitter experience that having high expectations often leads to dissapointment. having said that it doesn't mean that things won't work out and be good - just maybe not as good and as quickly as you'd dreamed of.

vitomum-yes, i can sadly report that i built it up too much, i feel really sad now as have just spoken to best friend from cambs on phone and miss it more now.

spacecadet,

hope you are having a good day.

i recently moved to cambs from london (about 3mths now) and finding it difficult to settle in. i originally came from s.wales. i find that the welsh are very friendly once you have made the first contact!

as for your mum, my pychotherapist told me 'after all she is just a woman', which helped me put things into perspective.

space cadet
I moved to wantage form aldershot almost 6 months ago and am finding it really hard going all these feelings you are having are completely normal and i know totaly where you are coming from ..the highlight of my day at the mo is picking up my little girl from school as at least i get to talk to adults then!!!!Am getting to the point where i gaze out the windows constantly everyone on my street probably thinks im a nutter!!!

notamorningmum and teacakes-thanks, there is a school fete coming up soon so im going to offer to help, hopefully i will start to get to know people.

try netmums, i know theres a few on there from north wales.
they might be close to you.
tbh, ive met some lovely people from there

just thought i would update and say, in the past week, ive slowly started to feel at home, been decorating the house so it feels "familiar" now, ive met my next door neighbour and 3 others and although not near me in age, they all seem very friendly. the children are settling into their schools and dd is just ignoring the name callers, she seems to have a nice group of friends and they have been round quite a few times. i know it will take time before i get to know people, but i guess it will come, im going to start helping out at the school when dd starts playgroup in jan next year and im going to offer to help with the summer fete.
i took the kids to llangollen yesterday and reminded myself why i wanted to come here. i had a relapse from my balance disorder just after moving and i think that added to my depression, ive slowly started to compensate again though which has made me feel a whole lot better.
ive decided to just ignore dm, if she wants to hardly bother with us, thats her look out not mine, shes the one thats missing out.

well done spacy - have emailed you

thanks will check my emails

Hi spacecadet

We moved to rural Wales from Bristol 18 months ago. Things had been very stressful, loads had gone wrong, we were really keen for the change. Part of the change was for me to stop working and spend more time with the kids, get a break.

When we got here, I fell apart. I didn't rest, I totally stopped functioning. And the kids just went on and on about missing their friends and wanting to move back to England.

There wre lots of contributory factors, but much of it seemed to be about the shock of the change and suddenly feeling cut adrift from my former life, a sort of identity crisis if you like.

But now that we've had time to settle in, I'm starting to really, really love it. I've been able to restart work and it's so much better than living where we were.

Like others have said it does take time - often we underestimate how attached we were to our old life and don't realise that we might have to do some grieving for it.

I still can't drive past our old house in Bristol.

I moved from town to city,7 years ago,it took a long time to adjust to the culture shock,but i got there,now i just have the prolblem of who i oved with,but thats another story!

Town to COUNTRY,whoops!

thank you miniminx-its been reassuring to know, its not just me, however, im settling in now and although i miss my old life, ive started to embrace my new one.

spacecadet- i've only just read this.. hope your feeling better.. if you ever want to meet up, i'm here in wrexham not far from you

sheepgomeep(love the name!!!), im trying to organise a get together, hopefully at chester zoo if you are interested

Hi SC! Haven't had a chance to read all the comments but I felt JUST like this too!

Literally in the last few weeks slowly that huge cloud has drifted off and i've started making some real friends around here, it's make such a difference. I had to get brave and ask people over for coffee/meet at the park and it has paid off, I get invited to things now . Next time you see someone who looks like minded, take a deep breath and start up a conversation. Next time (if you think you'd get on) ask her if she'd like to come over for coffee (in my case it was to have a laugh at my attempt at diy!). Failing that have a friend of one of your kids over for tea and invite them in after.

I know it's the last thing you probably feel like doing, but you do have to make an effort for it to change. I promise it'll work . I so hope that doesn't sound patronising, it's not meant to be. x

essbee-im so pleased that you are feeling happier at last.
i do feel a lot more content though than i have done of late, im guessing the friend thing will come
btw, tried to ring you again on thursday and you were out again!

I was having coffee!!! I'm glad you're feeling more content. I have to admit when I visited Surrey last week I had very mixed feelings and cried as I left! I honestly wouldn't move back now though (as much as I still miss lots!)

space cadet.. i'd love to come to chester zoo. When are you all thinking of going/

essbee-lol! at least you were able to leave surrey, which is a good sign.
sheepgomeep-email me spacecadetster at gmail dot com (remove spaces)

So how's it going SC? Asked anyone over yet?

god no essbee, im not even on saying hello terms with people!

SC,you have to give every move at least 6 mths,if not a year.
Just be patient(hard I know)
FWIW,my sisters and I moved to about 8 different school and it has done us no harm whatsoever.

Remember all the good things about this part of the worl...the reason why so many Saeson move here-less crime,fresher air,lower crime rated.

Are all your children school age?
How about a p/t college course?

Dal ati cariad!

XXX

aw bless you moondog..
im getting there.
im starting to feel more settled and know that ive "come home"
all but one are school age, but dd2 starts nursery school in a year so i can consider something then.
i realise how much better off i am in terms of standard of living, facilities etc.