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Mental health

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Original poster

ive never felt so alone and unhappy

50 replies

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 19:56

following on from my thread yesterday, i guess i am depressed, i feel like ive got a black cloud over my brain, i dont want to get up in the morning, im going to bed early at night but im not sleeping and i feel permanently exhausted, i cant stop crying and crying, what the hell is wrong with me, i feel so miserable, i keep thinking about my old place, then i think omg, ive made a terrible mistake and i cant reverse it, mum came over today and even that didnt cheer me up, i kept wishing she wasnt there and thinking, why did i move up here, i had to sell my house for financial reasons but i wish id stayed in the area now, i feel guilty that i uprooted the children, took them away from their friends, its all down to me, its my fault that my dd is being picked on at school, i took her away from her school when she only had a year to go and had lifelong friends, i feel so guilty and miserable.

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tribpot · 17/05/2006 20:00

Just wanted to send sympathy vibes, spacecadet. You sound very down and blaming yourself for a lot of things that don't really sound like your fault. Your kids will survive the move, however it may seem now, and in the meantime can you see your GP about dealing with the depression?

Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 20:03

i havent even registered with a gp yet..i havent felt like this since i had pnd

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Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 20:06

now i am crying even more

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pedilia · 17/05/2006 20:12

I really feel for you it must be awful, you must register with a GP.
Do you know anyone in this area yet?

pedilia · 17/05/2006 20:13

I really feel for you it must be awful, you must register with a GP.
Do you know anyone in this area yet?

Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 20:17

3 of the neighbours

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gigwig · 17/05/2006 20:21

hello spacecadet,

please don't be hard on your self. Any kind of change can be so hard and stressful, especially moving house. It takes a while for those feelings of familiarity to be there in a new place.

Your old friends and your DDs are still part of your lives, and your family is too. They just aren't physically right near you now, but you still can have lots of contact with them.

Don't feel guilty about uprooting your children,they really do adapt. you are all bound to feel uprooted and strange when you've moved. As soon as you start new routines, feelings of familiarity happen to the new area. How long ago did you move? (i couldnt see your post yesterday in feeling depressed)

I moved here mearly 2 years ago and missed those feelings of friends nearby/familiarity/history. those feelings do lessen with time, as you get to know the new area.

JanH · 17/05/2006 20:25

Oh, sc

So sorry you are feeling like this. Moving for any reason is hell by all accounts, moving a long distance like you and leaving behind everything you used to have (good and bad) must be the worst kind. Of course you feel miserable (but please try not to feel guilty too, you will all be better for the move in the long run - could DD invite one of her friends to stay, at half-term or in the summer?)

Do find a GP and get registered ASAP and start getting sorted out.

XXX

littlerach · 17/05/2006 20:34

Don't be sad, spacecadet, are there any mneteeres nearby who can help out again?

You have had such a terrible time of it all recently, plus have had to move, it is biund to effect you.

Think it owuld be a good isea to find a GP, and also to talk to someone when you vna.

Sending good vibes to you.

Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 21:27

thanks guys-gigwig, i moved 2 weeks ago, dd is very unhappy, she misses her boyfriend too

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Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 21:31

littlerach-italianjob, nemo and fastasleep live about 45 mins away, ive seen italianjob, i need to meet people a bit nearer though aswell.

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gigwig · 17/05/2006 21:34

only 2 weeks ago, that is no time atall, you're bound to feel at odds/did I do the right thing etc etc. See how you feel in say 2 months about your move, give your self some time.

Dont know what to say about your DD missing her boyfriend, of course she's bound to miss him, that doesn't mean though that she can't enjoy her new place too (though i guess she doesn't feel that). can she invite him to your new house or go to visit him at his. Its not easy, really hope she finds a way of getting used to it.

oops · 17/05/2006 21:34

i am so soryy, sc.
stick with it, it takes a long time to settle into a new place, and you have been through so muc recently. I am sure that it will go ok in the end.
sending good vibes and hoping you feel a bit more settled soon

Original poster

spacecadet · 17/05/2006 21:42

gigwig-weve moved 200 miles away so not really possible, the daft thing is i moved to get support but feel moree alone, and i have a horrible homesick feeling all the time

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gigwig · 17/05/2006 21:54

it's going to feel all over the place cos you only moved 2 weeks ago, can you take a step back and remember why you moved - cos of getting the support and whatever, try to remember what you liked about the area, your new house, the support you'll get - and try and look at it longterm - you'll get thru the stress/upheaval of moving, its going to be mad then it will calm down and you will get those things that you moved too.

have you moved to the north by the way? i moved here from london some years ago, it is a great area.

tribpot · 18/05/2006 10:54

sc I can sympathise. We moved 200 miles about 6 months ago, although ds is too young to complain, fortunately I too was hoping to have more support as I have more friends locally here than I did where we were before. It's been a bitter disappointment that with the exception of my MN sisterhood of course (not just saying that in case the northern Junies read this) they have been a complete let-down, to the point where I am considering moving back to where we were before in a year or so. Hopefully things will improve for you, 2 weeks is very early days. Things are definitely better for me now, I have some new friends through work who are a lot more sympathetic. It takes time.

foxinsocks · 18/05/2006 10:59

spacecadet, have you got anything to look forward to? a holiday in the summer?

tribpot, hope dh is well at the mo

tribpot · 18/05/2006 11:27

fox - cheers. No, we've just had another utterly depressing trip to the hospital, I'm sick of the whole bloody thing. Hope you are making some progress though?

sc - sorry for the hijack!

Original poster

spacecadet · 18/05/2006 14:42

gigwig-ive moved to north wales
tribpot-i think my expectations were too high of the move iyswim.
foxinsocks- no, i cant even afford a blimin holiday!

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foxinsocks · 18/05/2006 14:56

oh dear - did you sign up with the GP?

It's not easy moving. Try not to feel guilty about the kids - I moved around a bit as a child and it hasn't done me any harm. Is it pretty where you are? Are you near the coast? Must be some lovely walks round there.

Tribpot - I'll post a message on the old fibro thread and you can let me know how dh is (if you want!).

Original poster

spacecadet · 18/05/2006 18:41

yes i registered with the gp today-have an appt booked for next monday, its very rural where i am, im about 40 mins from the coast, its nice i guess in that its rural, yet i have chester just ten mins away and mold only a mile away, i suppose i feel let down because mum made all these false promises about how supportiv e she was going to be etc yet, she told me on the phone today that sahe can only visit once a week because she cant afford the petrol! her husband earns 50,000 a year, they have no kids and no massive outgoings..sigh..she took me in good and proper, i left my mates to get her so called support, i think its that thats the real problem.

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DumbledoresGirl · 18/05/2006 18:48

Spacecadet, go easy on yourself. They say moving is one of the great stresses in life and boy you have had a few others in the last year too! Tell yourself it is early days and try not to expect too much to begin with.

I particularly relate to what you said about your children making you feel bad. My children made me feel absolutely miserable for ages after we moved and they had to change schools. Ds2 was the worst. He was always ill (partly because he developed asthma, but also unexplained tummy aches etc) and he cried and cried for ages. He found making new friends really hard having been very popular before. If we hadn't have moved for dh's job, I would have moved right back, I can tell you!

But now we have been here a year and a quarter and ds2 finally came round after about a year. Today he mentioned his old friends without crying about them, just said it would be nice to speak to them. I know that must sound like a long time, but it was getting better before that point too. What I mean to say is, your experiences now are perfectly normal and don't mean you made the wrong decision. Just stick with it!

Original poster

spacecadet · 18/05/2006 18:52

i cant beleive its a already over a year since you moved DG!,i just hope the horrible homesick feeling goes eventually, i want to be happy here and my old place had so many bad memories.

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trefusis · 18/05/2006 18:59

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Original poster

spacecadet · 19/05/2006 11:54

trefusis-what you say does make sense, ive been so caught up with the house move its all ive thought about, ive had to face the fact too that my mum made false and meaningless promises, she had no intention of helping me, supporting me, she promised that she would help with childcare, yet when i asked her if she could take ds to school as i felt unwell, she said no as it was a 35 min car journey, so ds had to stay off school, at least in cambs i could have asked one of the other mums, im tempted to sever all contact with her tbh.

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