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Original poster

There is nothing I can do!

70 replies

Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 00:30

I have never posted in this section before but really felt like I need to talk to "someone"
I have always been fairly happy with my life, I have always worked up town and been well paid, am happily married and things were ticking along nicely. Then I fell pregnant with ds - dh and I were over the moon, it was what we had wanted and we had worked out that we were lucky enough for me to be able to give up work when ds was born as his wages would cover our expenses. Things were brilliant Smile
Then - after ds was born - dh went back to work after his PL and was unfairly dismissed Angry he was out of work for 9 months and we had no money coming in, so we had to run up our credit card (which I have never used before) and spend our savings to get by, we started proceedings with the CAB as his company owed us £1,500 in unpaid wages and bonus.
Because of this we had to sell one of our cars as well to make ends meet - then our other car was stolen, with ds's car seat and travel system in it, the insurance company only paid enough to cover the finance on the car and wouldn't pay out for the baby things, so we were left without a car (which meant that dh couldn't get to any interviews he had) and without a pram which meant I couldn't even walk anywhere! Then just after that dh's sister got run over and was in a coma for 4 months - I thought that things couldn't get any worse.
DH eventually got a new job but he had to settle for £5,000 less a year which meant his wages no longer covered our expenses and this is where we are nowSad
I have cut everything down to a bear minimum but our outgoing are more than our income! I can't even claim WFTC because his old firm have not provided a P60.
We heard from the CAb today that our court case for the unfair dismissal has been cancelled because the company have gone into liquidation (so we won't even get what was owed to us there) and to top it all we are expecting our 2nd baby in October ......... we really wanted another but I feel vvv. irresponsible as I am now unable to get a job until after then and we can't afford anything for the new baby - I just wish that I could feel happier about the future.
DH gets paid on 21st of the month and between us we have £5 until then, we have no food in the cupboards at all and my poor ds is running out of clothes! How on earth am I going to provide for the new baby as well, I can't even keep the 3 of us afloat!
Soooo sorry for the rant but I can't seem to admit to anybody in RL how bad things are Blush
Has anyone got any suggestions? It has been the worst 17 months of my life.

OP posts:
sunchowder · 10/05/2006 16:16

How can we get in touch with you Toby? Can you provide an email ID? Do you have a Pay Pal account?

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 16:19

Hi sunchowder - my email is [email protected] and yes I do have a PayPal account for my ebay.

OP posts:
sunchowder · 10/05/2006 16:25

Thanks Laura, check your email. All the best to you, things are going to turn around somehow, I just know they will.

nightowl · 10/05/2006 16:39

mummy2toby, i just cat you then noticed there's a mummytotoby here also (confused emoticon). did i get the right person...are you the same person!!???

SoupDragon · 10/05/2006 16:49

Mummy2Toby, I can't be ar$ed to Ebay most of it :) I can easily sort out a few things and if you feel guilty you can drop some money in a charity box whenever you are back on your feet :)

cyan · 10/05/2006 17:11

Mummy2toby> im off out the door in a mo, must go to college. PLease keep your chin up, it will be sorted I know it doesnt feel like that way at the moment, but it will be. How is that gorgeous little Toby?

Seriously it's no skin off my nose, to give you the stuff. Whatever is left after next sat I will send your way, and maybe we can sort something out about the travel system if you need one for when the new baby comes.

Chin up

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 17:21

sunchowder - Thank you soo much for your email Smile I hope that you are right and that things will turn around - lets face it they can't really get any worse.
Nightowl - I noticed that there are 2 of us aswell but we are not the same person - I am Mummy2Toby with a "2" - I have got your CAT and will reply now.
Soupdragon and Cyan - you are both so kind to offer help with clothes etc, is there anything I can do for you? Smile

OP posts:
nightowl · 10/05/2006 17:56

oh good mummy2toby, was just skimming threads before (doesnt take much to confuse me these days i can tell you!), have seen the other one is more local to me now. seems like you're having such an awful time, it all comes at once doesnt it? Sad

girlymomma · 10/05/2006 18:20

had a thought re finances - could you let a room in your house?.......you can earn £4,000 plus pa without paying tax and really do only have to let a room. Even if you have to move a child in with you, would money from a lodger help?

SoupDragon · 10/05/2006 18:23

Mummy2Toby, you don't have to do anything for me :) As I said, one day when you're back on your feet drop some money in a charity box.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2006 18:24

Let me know what age and season you need (and any pet hates wrt style and colour :o) and I'll see what's lurking in our loft.

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 18:49

girlymomma - thank you for the suggestion, I will talk to DH about it, but TBH we are not that centrally located for communting, shops, etc - so am not sure how that would work - and of course you have to be sooo careful with young babies in the house Smile
soupdragon - I will deffo donate to a charity as soon as I possibly can for you, your offer has been so kind. My ds is 17 months now and only has a few outfits that still fit him, so anything for the up and coming seasons would be great - he is in the correct sizes for his age IYKWIM - I am in no position to be fussy in respect of "pet hates" would be grateful of anything ATM - big hugs and thank you's to you Grin

OP posts:
Surfermum · 10/05/2006 19:01

Oh you have had a tough time haven't you?

I don't understand about the WFTC. We've been claiming it and have never needed to provide a P60, it's all been done over the phone. Why do they say they need it? If you do get it you might find you're entitled to all sorts of other things, like free prescriptions and dental care.

What about working at weekends?

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 19:53

surfermum - I have spoken to them on the phone about the WFTC but because DH was unfairly dismissed and was owed money, we are not sure how much he has earned, I would hate to guess and get it wrong and then end up owing money back to the govt as well as everywhere else.
My DH works every other weekend as it is in his job and I am unable to get weekend work atm because I am pg - it is a vicious circle.
As I mentioned before - we are going to the advice centre tomorrow to see if we can claim anything on the information that we have available because anything will help atm.

OP posts:
Surfermum · 10/05/2006 20:01

Ok, I see, but what you will be paid for this financial year (from April) is based on what he is earning now.

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 10/05/2006 22:42

Oh - I was under the impression that they work on the previous year - I must have understood the form incorrectly - I will check tomorrow when we go to get some advice - Thank you Smile

OP posts:
Surfermum · 11/05/2006 08:27

You're very welcome. You did read it right though. It can be confusing as they do ask for the previous year's income to work out this year's, but that only really works if your income doesn't change. What you don't want to do is give them an estimated income for this year that is much lower than it might turn out to be, as in that case you would be paying money back to them at the end of the year.

Whenever I've had to make changes they've put them in place straight away and I've got backpay within days, so ring them today!

Surfermum · 11/05/2006 08:30

Ooh just had another thought. You might be entitled to apply for a Maternity Grant for the new baby. It's around £500. I'm dashing off to work now (how dare it interfere with my mumsnetting) but will check in later or tonight and do you a link if you need one.

bossykate · 11/05/2006 12:47

hi there

i don't see any reason why you can't get jsa if you are pg - you need to be available and willing to work that's it. whether anyone will employ you or not is another matter Sad but it shouldn't affect whether you can claim the benefit or not.

also, in the absence of your dh's p60 - could he supply his payslips for the 12m in the tax year instead? the p60 is more or less a summary of that information.

one further thought - could you reduce your mortgage payments by paying interest only? the CAB should be able to help you negotiate this with the company.

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 11/05/2006 16:21

Hi bossykate, I have already reduced the mortgage to interest only and DH's company went into liquidation, so not only will they not supply a P60 but they have not given him a lot of his payslips either.
I have been to the advice centre today and filled in all the forms for a reduction in council tax, because there is noway we can afford the amount they want at the moment - but the WFTC help people weren't in (typical!) so I am going to ophone then now to see if I can begin claiming Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 12/05/2006 00:05

I spoke to the office that deals with WFTC and they are sedning me some forms out in the post - It will take a while but at least we may be able to get something to help us through - Now all we need to do is get to 21st of the month at least ....... what happens after that we will just have to see.
I still can't sleep though and my rash is really bad Sad it must be stress!

OP posts:
Notquitesotiredmum · 12/05/2006 11:53

M2T

Just found your thread. I can't believe the year/17 months that you have had. Just wanted to send you loads of support. I have 2 boys and am hopeless at selling stuff through ebay. I usually clear it to Oxfam and am happy to mail you something instead.

I'll email you.

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 12/05/2006 12:22

notquitesotiredmum - Thank you so much for your kind message, seeing how many caring people there are out there cheers me up even if nothing else will! Smile

OP posts:
bossykate · 12/05/2006 22:58

hi there

well done for your progress so far. perhaps it doesn't seem that way to you but imho your family are doing very well adjusting to this new situation - you have covered all the bases. good luck with the advice office and i really hope they come up with something for you.

good luck Smile

Original poster
Mummy2Toby · 15/05/2006 08:43

Thank you all for your kind words - it is mn that has kept me going this past week or so! Smile
I am still waiting to hear back from the council to see whether they will give a reduction in council tax and am still waiting for the forms from WFTC - everything takes sooo long Sad

OP posts: