Help i feel so low................

[SomethingAboutMary]

I am feeling so so low, i am usually a full of life mum of 2, usually have all the time in the world for my kids, my house is always tidy,washing always done & dinner always on the table BUT since i was about 6 months pregnant with dd i feel totally shit.

I don't want to get out of bed, i dont want to leave the house, everything is just hard work, i can not even be bothered to get up & take ds to nursery and that is just sooooooo unlike me my kids always come first & i have always wanted the best for them, i just feel lifeless & i feel like it is getting worse & worse.

I HATE being like this i feel so crap i have no confidence at all i dont want to even leave my house, even doing the shopping is only if i really really have too.

I woke this morning & just cried & cried after dp had left for work, i felt sad inside. The weird thing is when someone says to me what is wrong i don't have an answer i honestly don't know why i am like this, it just happens i just wake up & am down i know from the minute i wake up if it will be a good day or bad day

I have told my health visitor & been to the doctors they are very nice & see me every week, i am on anti-depressants (which was a last resort for me) so just shows how down i must be, but they dont seem to be working, i am going back to see the doctor on friday but i just want to curl up in a ball in my bed & never come out again.

Someone help me this was not what my life was ment to be

Feeling a little calmer, thanks for helping, ds can be a handful quite often and sometimes when i am feeling low its hard to deal with but i have managed to get through it, dp is not here as is golfing, dd is asleep & ds is just playing scooby doo on the pc upstairs so things seem to be alot calmer, to be honest when dp is here things seem to be worse, ds plays up alot & the house gets hectic.

I am just doing alot of huffing & puffing today & feeling angry, not for any reason just feel that way.

I phoned the doctors again today, they have not got an appoint till 18th so i had to take that appoint but she told me to write a letter to the doc (which i have done & sent) asking if she could give me an emergency prescription, so hopefully she will be in contact tomorrow or thursday at the latest, she knows things have not been good & she is a lovely doctor.

Think i need an early night because i think toredness could be adding to my mood.

I hope everyone else is ok? How have all your days been, its so great to come on mn & just speak how i am feeling because i find it sooooo hard to do in real life, only dp phones me every morning to ask how i am feeling which i will say if i am having a bad or good day, it helps to talk but i am quite shy in real life.

Sorry to hear you are not feeling great SAM. Come on here whenever you want and say how you are feeling. there is usually someone around who will chat to you. I check in every morning and evening, at least. Get some sleep. It will help. naswm x

sorry its been one of those days...do you work sam? are you on maternity leave at the moment.
I am in the usa - so although i go to bed really early ( always knackered!) I am always available really late .( ukmum4 - changed my name)

Hi all, Feeling down again today, was poorly lasy night so was up quite late, dd woke up is well so we had a cuddle at about midnight.

I don't work no, i am a SAHM i worked before ds was born & have never gone back, i am going to be staying home till my kids start school/nursery then i will be returning to work, i really miss work but to be honest with the expense of child care it just was not worth it.

Off to do breakfast but will be on later when i get a min

Monring SAM and aprongstrings (like the new name btw). SAM - try to give yourself a focus to the day. A little thing. Just something to focus on rather than the drudgery of chores etc

Stay in touch naswm x

Hope the day ended up being ok. Any response from the docs?

SAM - any news??? Thinking of you naswm x

Hope you are okay, SAM.

Hi all thanks for asking after me, have been having a tuff couple of days, keep getting headaches (probably from all the stress), i have not heard anything from the doctors so STILL no Ad's i am getting very cross now, its just ridiculous they put you on this medication then you can not even get an appointement to get more of the stuff, i think i need to change my doctor surgery the one i am with is so so bog & popular there are never any appointments!

Have been at my sisters all day today in the garden with the kids, we had a nice salad lunch & ds played (no nursery form him on a thursday) I woke up feeling down but thought sod this i am not going to sit here all day, bore my kids & bring them down with me, the sun was shining & i thought i HAVE to make an effort for my kids at least otherwise its just soo unfair on them.

Feel not to bad tonight just very atressed but af has arrived & i think thats why i have been so moody & down.

I have been wrting on the calendar & i had 5 good days in a row now 2 bad days but it seems to be getter a bit better, will see how i feel tomorrow, Can not stand this PND it sure tries to take over your life, its very hard to understand when you have not gone through it but going through this i can soooooo relate to others now.

Take care xxx

Glad you posted - been checking from time to time. Sounds like you did really well today - managing to force yourself to get the chidren out and visit your sister etc. I think its really hopeful that you did that rather than staying home.
for a laugh check out 'should I use dp's clippers on my ladygarden?' thread and the associated caption competition. my dh is away and it has provided some much needed light releif.pmsl

Hi all, Thanks for your post apronstrings, how are you hows your weekend been>?

Mine has been quite bad, had 2 low days & also had a raging fall out with dp, the stress got on top of me & i walked out on saturday night, i went over to my sisters & stayed there for the evening & got drunk i don't even really drink so must have been bad !

I have docotrs on thursday so am probably gonna tell her all about it because i really feel so low, its really getting me down, i feel quite out of control of the way i am feeling at times is this part of Pnd?

I also feel emotionally & physically drained as i just can not seem to sleep well, i seem to have 1 million things on my mind & it is racing

I told dp i was leaving him & that i no longer could stay with him, i have felt over the past few days that he has been adding to my stress & just being a totaly arse which has made things harder, i told him i am very emotionally unstable at the moment & this really is the wrong time to start being an arse. I woke up sunday morning to find him up with the kids & doing some house work

Anyway sorry i am just ranting now, i will pop back later see if there is anyone about.

Take Care xx

Just found your thread SAM, and wanted to offer some cybersupport. How are things going? It sounds as if you said the right things to DP on Monday. Hope that the change has lasted, and that you can keep talking to him.

(Friend of mine has told her dh to listen to her particularly when she has AF. It's then that she tells him all of the things that she thinks for the rest of the month, but is too polite to say!)

Hope that the docs appointment was OK yesterday. It sounds like a really good idea to keep a diary too. They can soo help you to see how things are going.

Best wishes