Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

At what point do you seek help for suicidal thoughts if you know deep down you won't do it?

26 replies

BloominMarvellous · 28/02/2013 11:21

I have depression and anxiety and PTSD and lately I have been feeling overwhelmed. My anxiety is getting worse and I have fantasies about getting ill and being in hospital or from getting carbon monoxide poisioning and not waking up. The thoughts aren't distressing which makes it worse. I think about it every day but I know I don't have the guts to do anything about it. I tried a few years ago but panicked so I know I won't do it again.

So at what point do I need help if I know I can't do anything?

I am taking fluoxetine 40mg and propanalol 80mg and I'm on the waiting list to see a physcyatrist.

I think I just needed to write it down. It's been killing me. I want to scream it to somebody.

OP posts:
Waferthinmint · 28/02/2013 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkyponk67 · 28/02/2013 12:50

Have been in a similar situation recently. Please go to your GP and be honest with them about your thoughts. Let them decide if you need more urgent help.

SnowyMouse · 28/02/2013 13:21

Do tell your GP, good luck.

Original poster
BloominMarvellous · 28/02/2013 13:31

Thank you. I'm glad I asked. I didn't want to feel like I was being stupid. I will contact my GP and go from there.

It's getting very tiresome feeling like this. It's one thing after another!!

OP posts:
IlianaDupree · 28/02/2013 22:09

Good advice given, I have the same kind of issues and go to the gp as soon as possible.

They can help by just listening, mine have always been very supportive even when I couldn't vocalise the issue and they can help to get psych quicker.

Really hope you feel better soon.

A1980 · 03/03/2013 00:05

I deny the thoughts to everyone. in case I decide to do it. guess that's not good.

MrsSham · 03/03/2013 00:20

I would talk to someone, however are these more mor it thoughts rather than suicidal, if that is maybe more reassuring to you. You cettainly need and deserve to not be feeling this this anymore. Talking can lead to far better treatment and support.

DrRanj · 03/03/2013 00:23

Whether or not you want to actually do it, suicidal thoughts are a sign that your depression is severe enough to sell help.

I would never actually kill myself, but the way I can tell I am actually depressed rather than having a rough patch is that so start to think about it.

Let's face it, well people don't think about it do they?

I would speak to someone soon, you clearly need some more support. I really hope you start to feel better soon. Sad

scottishmummy · 03/03/2013 00:28

Suicidal ideation is indicative something is right for you,on that basis alone see gp
If it's intrusive,pervasive and can't shake it off again I'd say see gp
If it's immediate urge and you distresses you can go casualty ask see psych liaison or call out of hour number

You should seek advice
May not completely remove the thought/urge
But may reduce or diminish it's impact

Original poster
BloominMarvellous · 04/03/2013 09:28
Sad

I called my GP today after having hallucinations all weekend and hearing things.

A triage nurse called me and said because I know I'm hallucinating and because I don't think I'll act on the suicidal thoughts she doesn't think it's urgent enough to see a GP today.

She is going to speak to the GP for an opinion and call me back but it has made me feel worse because she made me feel like I was making a big deal out of nothing.

I admitted to her that the only reason I wouldn't do it is fear of failing or it hurting. She still wasn't concerned. Maybe I am making it into something it's not? Sad

OP posts:
MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 04/03/2013 09:39

You're not making it into something it's not but it does sound like the nurse you spoke to has not been well trained in mental health issues. Suicidal thoughts should always be taken seriously, because the one time they are not, is when someone ends up dead.
I've never come across a gp surgery with a triage nurse before, so I don't know really where to go from in regards to this.
When I have had problems with referrals before, for mental health issues, I have spoken to the practice manager and that has got things resolved pretty quickly.
Is there any chance you could do that or get someone else to for you?

lougle · 04/03/2013 09:49

The reason you know you had hallucinations is that your now lucid self has rationalised what you saw and heard. That's not to say you didn't experience it.

Be persistent.

Original poster
BloominMarvellous · 04/03/2013 10:26

The nurse called back and the GP said he isn't concerned enough to see me today. He wouldn't do anything so he doesn't see the point.

As I am already on the waiting list for a physcyatrist (not an urge to referral I'll add) he doesn't want to see me.

So at what point do I become a concern to anyone!? When I've jumped off a fucking bridge!?????

Sorry Sad it has taken so much to admit these thoughts and to be told I am not a concern has pissed me off.

OP posts:
lougle · 04/03/2013 10:32

If you are having enough suicidal thoughts that it is interfering with your daily activities, you can present to A&E and say 'I tried to see a GP, they wouldn't see me, I'm having thoughts about killing myself.'

I would do that, if you feel able to.

KatyPeril · 04/03/2013 10:34

I would tell someone. I always thought I wouldn't try but the thoughts became so bad I attempted it just to stop the thoughts I think.

Original poster
BloominMarvellous · 04/03/2013 10:35

What will they do at A&E? I've never been I this situation before so I have no idea what to expect

OP posts:
MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 04/03/2013 11:03

They will get someone with a psychiatry based background to do an assessment. I doubt they would admit you, as you would nor be deemed at imminent risk but I would certainly think it would speed up your referral to a pyschiatrist.
The fact that you are having these thoughts does point to your anti-d's not working for you and from a laymans point of view, I would say you would benefit from having your meds changed to something else.

DrRanj · 04/03/2013 11:58

Have a look on google and see if your area has a depression and anxiety service that you can self refer to - mine has. They may be able to speed up your access to therapies and although when I saw them it took me a few days to have an assessment, if you tell them you are feeling suicidal and having hallucinations they may be able to get in touch with the crisis team on your behalf?

When I went to the gp about my depression and suicidal thoughts, he sent the crisis team to my home the next day. Although I had bought the tablets, speaks a bit further along in my plans.Sad

It is truly crap how rubbish your GP is being. I'm sorry. Sad

pinkyponk67 · 04/03/2013 11:59

Agree with pp you should go to A&E. you need to be properly assessed by a mental health professional. This is what i have been told to do by the community MH team if desperate. take a book with you as you may have a bit of a wait.

Am shocked at your GP, tbh.

Keep us posted.

DrRanj · 04/03/2013 12:00

Other than that, call the Samaritans. Unfortunately there is not much they can do on a practical level, but at least you can talk through some of your thoughts and get a few things off your chest without being judged.

elfycat · 04/03/2013 12:18

I think you're telling them too confidently that you don't plan to act on these thoughts. Leave that bit out or say 'So far I've been able to resist the ideas but if I hallucinate again I might not have that control'.

Which would be my concern for you.

A&E might be a good idea, especially if you've spoken with the GP surgery twice now. Don't hesitate if your thoughts change.

Original poster
BloominMarvellous · 04/03/2013 12:22

I am going to a friend's house to try and talk this through. I want to sort out my head and being here alone is driving me mad. I need some perspective.

Thank you for your advice. I am certainly taking it on board and trying to decide what to do.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 04/03/2013 12:35

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this OP Sad It's hellish, it's such a lonely place to be. I was in the same position about 3 months ago. I kept having thoughts of cutting my wrists with a knife, but knew for absolute sure that I wasn't going to do it for real.

It was very scary and I felt very ashamed. I see a wonderful psychotherapist weekly and I forced myself to share my thoughts with her. She was very calm and not at all blaming. She helped me to think through why I was having these thoughts, and what would happen if I did act on them. She told me that if I ever seriously felt like harming myself, I should phone her, or the Samaritans or go to A&E. It's never come to that thankfully. I'm on 20mg Paroxetine and feeling much more stable for it.

I completely agree that talking about it is the way forward. Share it with your friend, so long as he/she is someone you trust 100%. These kinds of scary thoughts become more terrifying the longer you keep them secret. The relief from sharing them with my therapist was huge.

I hope things get better for you. Please keep posting - there are loads of us who have been though similar Thanks

A1980 · 04/03/2013 19:43

I dream up ways.....now I've realised I have enough zopiclone to kill a horse in the house.

scottishmummy · 04/03/2013 21:19

Psych liaison will assess you,take social &medical history.whats past week been like etc
Ask you about recent events,can you think of triggers,ask you symptoms you experience
It's informal assessment (by that i mean youre not detained) which they share with gp and cmht
They can make recommendations to gp and/or cmht.this will not necessarily speed things up,but it's all part of the presentation

Presenting at a&e dosent ordinarily lead to hospital admission,unless things have deteriorated and you're unwell and/or vulnerable