Just started on Citalopram

[Nanabana]

Have read old threads about side affects and quite worrying, but will give it a go. Hope it kicks in soon

citalo, no no no! You didn't offend me at all. Sorry if I came across as a bit short, it wasn't my intention at all!

Morning everyone.
Well I discovered that drinking half a bottle of wine whilst on Fluoxetine is not to be recommended! Did have a good chat with OH he says (I can't remember most of it), but when I got up and went to bed (at about 1.00am) I felt so sick, terrible night sleep, woke up feeling even worse, got up to go to the loo and then nearly fainted, OH had to carry me back to bed some dioralyte and rich tea biscuits and sleep later and I have now just made it to the sofa... lesson learnt
MT my OH reckons he has always been slightly depressed and that was why his episode of depression last year was so severe. But he is now doing really well - for him a combination of sertraline, CBT and lots of support from friends and family have made a world of difference. Don't loose hope, even if it has been a long time, there is always the possibility of change for the better.
Bunny well done for taking the first step, be kind to yourself today.
Citalobrain glad you had a good chat too and hope your Friday's going OK.
1 March - I'm hoping Spring is on its way now for us all x

Mechanical phew! (Did I mention I suffer from anxiety among other things ?). You didn't sound short by the way, I just worried I'd trivialised your situation in some way.

I'm sure you can get to a better place than where you are now. Can you remember feeling better than you do now? Can you remember what was different? Pills, or circumstances, or both? (don't feel you have to answer! it might help to think about it so things don't seem quite so bleak?)

Bunny well done. Things like jaw clenching will definitely subside. Shamefully, I enjoyed the spaced out feeling!!

ColouringIn yikes, that doesn't sound fun. Take it easy today and nurse that hangover. Chocolate is my go-to for a rough hangover. It may not help but it tastes bloody good!

Have to make the phone call to the distant non-relative this afternoon :( I really don't want to and I'm worried I'll be bulldozed into something but must be done. Wish me luck!

Hi Citalobrain, thanks am still on the toast and marmite stage think it might be a while before I get to the choc (which I love too) but actually it's OK - I realise that handling being physically ill is pretty easy compared to bad depression!

Do you have a plan about the call? Is it about something in particular? If you're worried you might end up saying yes to something, have you tried writing down a few "No" replies to have to hand as a back-up? Good luck!

citalobrain could you keep a plastic bag with you to rustle at the phone saying its a bad line and hanging up if it gets too heavy so you can regroup and call again later?
I haven't got to do anything today dp is doing school run going to get takeout for tea and let kids have screen time nausea is kicking in but that could just be because im thinking about it iyswim

ColourinIn that's a really good idea, to write a few things down, so I don't veer off course. And Bunny brilliant re the crackling bag! Before reading these I'd summed up the courage and called, but her voicemail said please don't leave a message, text instead. So I did, just saying hi and wanted to touch base.

To be honest I'm not sure why I felt I had to call. How it was left before made me feel bad, and I guess I wanted to resolve it as it's been worrying me. I wanted to give her a specific week (after Easter!) when I could make a day trip to see her and therefore stop worrying about it! I genuinely can't make it before then due to work and busy weekends (nightmare!).

So I was all revved up and ready to go but I'll have to wait now to have the convo later as I'm 100% sure she will call me back.

Honestly, it's not normal to get so wound up by making a phone call is it?! When my phone rings, I stare at it for ages before answering it, always, even if I know who it is and would like to talk to them, bizarre.

Bunny you sound like you have the perfect plans in place to get you through the day with the least stress possible. Try and eat something even if you feel nauseous. You may find you have minimal side effects which would be great :) Hope it all goes okay x

Will check in over the weekend. Hope everyone has a decent one :)

citalobrain I know - it IS relentless sometimes, the family stuff - much as you would lay down your life for them, I go to bed feeling like a crap mum, and agitating about homework diaries, if ds1 is going to remember to pick up ds2 from school, whilst am at work, have we enough milk, the house needs redecorating, I need to study, is Ds1 doing enough for his GCSE's, is ds2 spending too much time on the pooter, did I remember to tell someone at work that so and so need a new cannula... it all feels insurmountable at times. I can try and rationalise it, but it only goes so far.

And the sense of dread when I wake up.. I thought it might be work, but I had two weeks off with both kids at school, and I still woke up agitating, rubbing my feet together, and wondering how I was going to get through.. In fact, I felt slightly worse - alongside the depression.

It is getting better though. Work was tough today, but I was internalising it less, and was less anxious. Because of my history (ECT, hospital admissions in the past etc - although I can be well for years, and have no contact with mental health services now) when I was prescribed meds again 16 days ago, she wanted to see me a few weeks later, and wants to double up to 40mg.

I am starting to feel much better, but am not going to argue against doubling it. I might as well hit it heavy, then I can always titrate it down. I have another week of annual leave which coincides with my appointment to double it, so I don't have to worry about side effects and work.

I hate phonecalls too, and put them off for as long as I can - don't worry about upping your meds - it's not set in stone, when you feel better, you can always reduce slightly - so get thee along to the doctors!

catgirl mucho ouchio - I hope you feel better soon, and it can't have helped you feeling poorly! I know what you mean about the food - I couldn't eat much for a few days, but as I started to feel better, I saw food as medicine and something important to getting better, so I plan small regular snacks/small meals, and see it as part of getting better, even if I don't feel like eating.

colouring in Your OH sounds lovely, and he IS right - you will come out of the other side of this.

mechanical I hope you feel a bit better soon x

We got dd's secondry school letter through yesterday and she got the only school that we really didnt want and although i could feel panic trying to break through the most i felt was a bit warm and tingly which i could cope with felt really stoned yesterday but was much better once i ate took a while to get to sleep but other than that no real problems so far fingers crossed. I am going to try and make a cake with ds today before its time to take pill as once i have cant see me being good for much

Hi everyone, please can I join? I have been mildly depressed for a long, long time, but have always managed to keep going.

Then my STBXH left me out of the blue for an OW last June. I hadn't been in love with him for a long time before that, but what he did came as a complete shock. I don't have a job or lots of friends and family around, so this is what my depression relates to. I think it would be abnormal for people in my situation to not feel depressed, so this put me off seeking help for a few months. Also, I usually get down in the winter months anyway, so thought I might feel better as soon as winter ends.

However, I finally went to my GP on Monday and he prescribed me 20g of Citalopram. I haven't taken any yet, as I had my first job interview for over a year coming up on Thursday (didn't get it, but glad to get the experience) and I wanted to be in control. I'm nervous about taking them anyway, as I worry about the side effects. I don't know if I can cope with feeling nauseous all the time and I meal-plan for everything I eat and can't afford to waste food. Also, I have nobody to help out with DS (10), if I need it. Will I still be able to get up and take him to and from school and keep everything functioning at a basic level on Citalopram?

Hi CremeEggThief (love the name) course you can join .
So sorry to hear your story - can't imagine how hard that must be, and you're right, it is depressing and this cloudy winter doesn't help at all. So pleased to hear that you managed to get to the Docs though and start taking some positive steps towards feeling better.

I can understand your reticence to start taking the meds esp with a DS to look after. You can do it though. I think looking back to my first 7-10 days I'd suggest you think about the following:

• Take your meds after you've done the morning school run (assuming yr doc has said take them in the morning)
• Get in some plain food - is there anything you can eat when nauseous? (for me, rich tea biscuits, toast, crisps)
• Plan the weeks meals for minimal cooking (anything in the freezer you can use/can you do some cooking in advance this weekend?)
• Can your DS go round to a friend's after school one day?

Is your DS with you all weekend? If so if it were me I'd be tempted to start them Monday morning after the school run, but that's just my approach. Anyway hope this doesn't come across too bossy - feel free to ignore, but do keep posting, there are lots of lovely people on this thread and I find it helps to know you're not the only one going through this.

Take care x

hi creme egg on day two here i second not taking until after the school run as this morning i felt just as i usually do no difference until about 45 mins after i take it.

Pixwix, bless you! Wow you've been through a tough time in the past. You are clearly incredibly strong! Good luck with the increase in dose. I want to ask my GP about increasing on Monday, do you think I should just come out with it and say I want to increase it?

Great news you have some leave around that time, that should really help keep things on an even keel :)

Life today goes a hundred miles an hour, it's a scary ride so much of the time isn't it. If I think too far ahead in the year I start to panic.

I know exactly what you mean about rationalising things, but it's so hard isn't it? One of my problems I'm only recently identifying is that I want everything resolved immediately! So a conversation to be had, must resolve it now. Work deadline in 2 weeks, must do it in next 2 days. Some spice I need to get next time I go out, must go and get it now. What's that all about?! I wish I didn't feel I had to tackle stuff this way as I'm sure my life (head) would be more relaxed if I didn't! It's like all unresolved stuff fills my head and worries me until I've sorted it. But life is never 100% resolved so my (head's) expectations are completely unmanageable.

ColouringIn, Mechanical, Bunny and everyone else hope you are all doing okay this weekend x

And welcome CremeEggthief :) Hope the first few days go well for you, whether starting this weekend or next week. Try not to panic if it's a bit bumpy as this is normal and it will get better.

My phone callee called me back and I just couldn't pick up the call! So will call her back tomorrow when I've psyched myself up again. Quite an impressive game of phone tennis we seem to be having lol I did call my lovely stepbro though and it was really nice to speak to him.

Take care everyone xx

Thanks a lot for the tips. The GP didn't actually say when to take it. I saw on this thread that a lot of people take it at night instead of in the morning, but taking it after the school run could work. I usually eat breakfast then, so could try taking it after that. I am actually quite good though at keeping busy and finding stuff to do in the day. It's the evenings I sometimes struggle with, so might it work to take it about 9 p.m. when DS has gone to bed? I usually go between 11 and midnight.

I felt exhausted and overwhelmed earlier, but going for a walk in the sunshine helped a lot. I suppose I have lots of coping strategies and I know how to keep going, but now I'm thinking I want more than just that (apologies to anyone reading who would give their right arm to be at the stage I am at now. I know what it's like to feel as if everything is too much and I'm so grateful I can still function; please don't get me wrong).

My DS is 10 and going through a difficult stage right now. I have to ask him to do things over and over again before he does them, and sometimes he throws tantrums about these things, or he doesn't do them properly. I feel like I am tip-toeing around, almost scared to ask him to do anything, because of his reaction or not doing it properly and causing more work for me, so eventually I explode. I have been trying to crack down on this this week, but I ended up in tears about it this morning. Maybe I need to let that slide for a few weeks until the Citalopram kicks in and I feel more on top of things? Advice appreciated on this too. [I'm talking about very basic things, such as washing his face and brushing his hair; using a knife and fork instead of fingers to cut up food like sausages and waffles; stripping his bedding and putting it in the machine, without throwing a tantrum; and putting everything away properly after he makes cereal or a sandwich and clearing up any spills, etc.]

Hi citalobrain I know just what you mean about getting stuff done Now. Then its not rumbling around in your head isn't it? But as you say life is usually too complicated for that to be practical. In terms of the Docs I would start by talking about how you're feeling - symptoms, degree of improvement/not, and then say you'd wondered about increasing the dose?

I am not doing so good this pm. House was (and is) a bit chaotic this morning, I did a supermarket shop. But before that I had to email someone at church that I help run some children's sunday school type stuff with to say I have to pull out cos of health probs. Can't stop worrying about what he will think when he reads my email. But it's just too much at the moment.
Kids and OH are out this pm and I thought I would try and paint (took this up in the autumn to try and stay sane while DS started school). But I don't know whether I've been too ambitious with my subject/the anxiety is finishing me off/both but I've just had to walk away. Which I'm pretty upset about as it is just about the only thing I had been enjoying, but am not today. I feel like I'm going backwards at the moment tbh.

cremeeggthief I get what you mean about wanting more than just keeping going - that's what I was doing last year, and now can't even do that. Really great you had a good walk though. I sympathise in terms of DS. Not sure I'm qualified to advise on that - mine are 8 and 4 and my OH is having to step up at the mo as I just end up shouting. Perhaps concentrate on one or two things you want to improve on to start with and identify an incentive that your DS will go for?

Hello pixwix, catgirl, bunny, mechanical and anyone I've missed x

Sorry to hear you're not in the best form this afternoon, ColouringinQueen. FWIW, I think you did the right thing to cancel the activity at church and put your health first, but even when it's the right thing to do, you hate feeling as if you're letting people down.

I bet you can think of something you did that makes you feel better, if you think small steps and celebrate every achievement. It was sunny enough to hang out the washing this afternoon, for the first time this year (even though I knew I'd have to finish it off later in the dryer!). So I did. And it made me feel better. While I was out there, I did a quick tidy of the garden- just a few sticks off the grass and some rubbish that had blown in binned. That made me feel even better, and then I felt confident enough to go for my walk.

This is how I try to think anyway, when I feel overwhelmed. It doesn't fix everything, but at least seeing you're making some progress, is a big help.

Hi all, just checking in. Having so many problems atm - my flatmates are being really noisy (they were running about and banging doors and screaming at 5AM this morning, I'm so upset with them) and have a lot of relationship problems.

Sorry, not much support today.

Hi all, just checking in. Having so many problems atm - my flatmates are being really noisy (they were running about and banging doors and screaming at 5AM this morning, I'm so upset with them) and have a lot of relationship problems.

Sorry, not much support today.

Oh Mechanical you poor thing. I lived in London in flat-shares for years (last one was 7 years or so ago?) before I moved to where I am now (no flat-share).

A bad flat-share was actually what sent me over the edge health wise. It's totally brilliant when it works, but when it doesn't it's so so hard. I had a flat-mate who was either a vampire or an owl and only came alive at night. Together with at least 10 other of his friends, every night. I used to go to bed knowing that around 3am it would all kick off (and my dog would go mental). Not surprisingly I drank a lot at that time!

Is it worth you looking around for a different house share? My then flat mate was an absolutely lovely guy, but us living in the same flat was just a disaster. God it sucked, I feel for you. (After he left, someone moved in who virtually never left his room apart from to watch football too in the pub and it was bliss! We supported the same team which was handy too )

ColouringIn you and me both re feeling like you're going backwards. Are you going to go back to the doc and see what they say? I'm resolved now I'm going to call on Monday.

Cremeeggthief you are so right about getting little things done and the boost it gives you. When I went through my slightly manic phase when settling into the ADs, I did stuff that I'd ignored for over a year. Particularly in the garden.

Looking back on those few weeks, it now feels like another person :(

Sorry, all my posts become incredibly long so well done if you've read down to here! Also been drinking tonight which is creeping into my life again and I'm not happy about that at all. Hey ho, onwards and upwards and all that.

I started citalopram just before Xmas. I was on prozac for 12 years and it changed my life for the first 6 years, last year it just didn't work at all so the GP switched me over. I started on 20mg and I had no bad side effects. It took the edge off but not as much as I had hoped so we increased my dose to 30mg four days ago. Thankfully, still no side effects.

Mine is for health anxiety and while I do suffer with mild depression it is tied in to my anxiety. When my anxiety is low my mood is obviously much better.

I am hoping the increased dosage will kick in soon as I have pretty much had enough of living in fear. This bad patch has lasted over a year and I want my life back.

I hope everyone starts feeling better soon. There are so many posts here so just jumping in but I wish you all the best and look forward to reading everyones updates.

citalo, I can't really move, I only have 4 months left here anyway...will just ride it out.

Such a bad day, I really think me and my partner might split and I am just...I can't cope without him, I don't have anyone else.

I've given up after 2 pills. made me too sick.

{{hugs}} to everyone.
hello to Samu2 Brilliant to hear you're not getting the side effects and really hope the citalopram does the trick for you. Also interesting to hear about your experience with proxac - I've been prescribed fluoxetine for moderate depression and anxiety... really hoping it does the trick.
hi A1980 sorry to hear you've given up. What dose are you on? I was too sick on 20mg and my GP advised me to go down to 10mg for a bit and that really helped - I was able to keep taking them. Perhaps worth a call to your GP tomorrow?
citalo don't worry about the long posts - yours are always really supportive and honest and that's so helpful for me and I bet lots of others. I was having the same worries about mine being long if its any consolation but am ignoring them. You weren't alone drinking last night. Personally I think a glass of wine is good as it helps me relax . Really glad to hear you're ringing the Doc tomorrow - def sounds like the right thing to do. I am back to Docs on Wed...
Mechanical so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. Have you got anyone else in RL you're able to confide in? Keep posting here too.
Take care everyone x

didn't mean to miss you out cremeeggthief and great advice. I did finish my painting in the end. Not a classic, but it happened! Gardening is food for thought too... hope you enjoy some sun today.
if I've missed anyone else - forgive me!

Good for you, ColouringInQueen.
I bet you felt a lot better for it.

No sunshine here today :(. Feeling a bit panicky, so time to get off here, unload the dishwasher, put the recycling out and make some lunch, I think.

Mechanical, hope today is better.

Thanks ColouringIn x I should feel much worse than I do today, hangover wise! Hope you feel okay and are having a good day. Painting sounds wonderful by the way, a good way to escape for a while I'd imagine?

A1980 what ColouringIn said is a good suggestion. Were you put straight onto 20mg? Could you talk to your doc about dropping the dose while you settle into it?

Cremeegg keeping busy really helps in the early days doesn't it. I think the less time you have to sit and wonder about how you're feeling at the beginning the better! Hope you're feeling less anxious now.

Mechanical I'm really so sorry you're having such a crap time with it all. We're one big listening ear on this thread so please talk away if it helps x

Got lots done at home today and received such a lovely text from my stepbro. I told him about my depression when I spoke to him yesterday and he was totally shocked, had no idea I'd ever had it, I can stick on quite a 'happy face' much of the time! In a way I'm glad I told him but in other ways I'm not. I don't want him thinking of me or treating me any different. I told him as there's a big family drama rumbling on and I wanted to help explain the reasons why I've made certain choices. Trouble is the bush telegraph will ensure the whole family knows within the next few days! It's done now anyway, at least I won't have to hide anything any more.

Hello to everyone else who's reading, hope everyone's having a good weekend :)