Emetophobia - my worst nightmare

[zonedout]

Ds1 goes to a school set on several different sites. Today one of the sites has been closed for deep cleaning due to norovirus wiping out hundreds of children this week. There are loads of siblings in ds1's building/class and 8 of his classmates were off today.

I am a single parent (really outing myself here!) and terrified of what feels completely inevitable right now. I was awake all night last night, waiting. Shall be doing the same again tonight.

You know, I feel like I have improved a lot with my emetophobia recently. I am no longer worried about the odd v. It's the awful, debilitating violence of noro that terrifies the life out of me.

The waiting is utter torture

you are doing your best now talk to her get the three of you to the bathroom somehow

zoo you will get through this and come out the otherside

zoo how are you doing

talk to us zoo

zoo honey you can do it honest

Zoo I'm hoping you haven't posted on here for a bit because you've been able to see to your daughters. Let us know how things are going.

ive been sobbing and gasping down the phone at dp

he has begged his mum to come and help

she cant stand the sight of me but worries about her son being stressed so she has turned up and done the hall

dd2 has had a bit water and is now vomiting profusely in the loo

little zoo is very proud herself as she made the bin in their room,only a little bit on the floor and on her pj top.grandma is just about to sort her now shes finished comforting dd2

ive totally lost it.im in hell.terrified and wanting to die

my tummys hurting and i have acid in my throat.im praying its just the panic

Zoo you know you are fine and are making yourself feel ill over thinking it.

You are so very lucky having MIL to come and clean up

You are getting through this

so glad you have help. fingers crossed your tummy is just due to stress

mil has told the girls not to drink anymore as we think that made dd2 vomit again,at least for a while

she bin fab with the girls,they are all sorted now

excellent if she will stay i would let her

Zoo, everything is ok. I am sure that the acid and nausea you are feeling is due to the panic/anxiety. You have had to face your worse nightmare.

I really hope that your dd's are feeling better soon. I know that you will be on heightened alert for a while now, but I really want to say - if you are blaming yourself or thinking you failed (and i only say that because that is what I do to myself all the time), you haven't. You need to try to conquer your phobia, but in a calm controlled way and being drop into the deep end with no choice is the hardest thing ever.

I have read the whole thread but may have missed it, do you get any help with the emetophobia? If not once your dc's are better I really think it would be good for you to try and seek some help.

I really do hope you start to feel a bit calmer soon. I am off to bed now but will be thinking if you and will check in, in the morning to see what's happened.

thanks tutu ive been having cbt since january and therapist started EMDR-Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming with him in june

imtrying to pull myself together

am acutely grateful mil has taken control of the girls.i just dared to stic head in and they smiling and chatting away to her.good to see them comfortable,not traumatized and feeling bad coz mums upset

ds has woken and is very happy he isnt the only one who is unwell!

Zoo

Get your MIL to give DDs small sips of either fruit juice or flat fizzy drink. Water induces the vomiting. I'm glad she's come over to help out. Same for DS when wants to drink.

Hope this clears up quickly, remember to take care of yourself too.

im still awake!

the girls have been sick on and off.little zoo has been amazing using the bin/bucket and is surprisingly calmi cant say the same for dd2 who has found the experience quite distressing and keeps calling me to tell me she feels poorly again and running to the loo so she can poke her head round the landing and call for me to show my anxious face at the bottom of the stairs

this is definately the most poorly they have ever collectively been,made worse by the face its all at once!

between nursing dcs grandma has asked questions about my emet

Oh zoo I'm sorry. That sounds like my worst nightmare. Do you have gloves etc? It's funeral day today and I feel ok so now I'm panicking dh has something because he hasn't cuddled me this morning and he normally does while half asleep.

try not to read anything in to it santa

im hanging by a thread
mil has left and im praying they sleep for a long time and are ok when they wake up.i genuinely cant take anymore

:(. You can do this. If it helps (it does with me) put on some gloves and bleach everything you can while they are sleeping. If you have to deal with them being sick, wear gloves and put a towel over your mouth and nose so you don't breathe in the spores. Forbid hands in mouths to stop the spread and confine to one room which is easily blitzed after to reduce the risk of spreading.

For areas you can't bleach, get the dettol aerosol spray and go mad with it. You can get through this easy for me to say from this distance I'd be like you for sure, I have panic attacks at the mention of my friends or family saying they feel sick

Liveinazoo you have done so well to have had to cope with this it is all our worst nightmares come true isn't it. So glad grandma has come to help perhaps you will bond over this? Some people like to feel needed and it is really good of her to help in this situation. Don't beat yourself up anymore of course you should have had your kids (and more if thats what you want) Think of the other 360 or so days in the year when you are the best mom they could have. I can tell just from reading your post what a caring mom you are. It is the parents who don't care that should not have them. You can't help the way you feel. You have done really well to face this situation. Thinking of you xxx

Zoo you did great, you are a great mum. Do mums who shriek and run out of the room because of spiders feel they are a bad mum because they can't splat it/get rid of it? No they don't and you are not either.

I have been following this thread as since Sunday morning I have been on high alert because of the bloomin' BBC news report on Breakfast TV about the norovirus being more prevalent this year. (Incidentally don't they say that every year?!)

I am a fellow emetophobe but I like to think that I have it reasonably under control. I do try my best to carry on with life as normal and I will eat out and I eat white meat and fish. However I am a mess if the children are ill. It's more of an annoying trait than a life encompassing one. But the fact remains that I hate being sick (only been sick twice in 20 years) and it scares the living daylights out of me.

It's interesting reading the thread and peoples reasons for being scared of it. Mine too stems from being out of control - I too also suffer from insomnia. I wonder if the two are related? My earliest memory of being sick is of waking up being sick and thinking that I was going to die.

At this time of year anything can set me off. DS2 was awake 4 times in the night on Friday night saying his ear hurt (not his tummy, his ear just to be clear) So what did I do? I stayed awake all night waiting for him to be sick!! It's so ridiculous I can almost laugh at myself.

Anyway I am giving you a pat on the back [Zoo] - you have done an amazing job and asking for help is the best thing you could have done in that situation. I know I would have been in tears and in a complete state if I had been on my own. To be honest though I don't mind it too much when the children are actually ill, it's the 48 hours after that I get myself in a state waiting for me to get it. Although that said, DH went away for a night over the summer (he very rarely goes away) and again, I was awake all night waiting for one of the children to be ill.

In a way I want to get it over and done with now please. DS1 said someone threw up in the corridor on Friday and then he was due to go to his friends house today but his Mum texted and said her son had come down with the bug. So in a way it's only a matter of time. My brave side says, come on - bring it on - I have gloves, I have bleach. I am ready for you evil norovirus! I am not so sure I will be so ballsy once it actually happens though but I think trying to be positive from the start might help.

PS sending a wave to [becky] and [belgianbun] - my old insomnia and emetophobia friends respectively!

Zoo, how are you doing now?

I find that that with this norovirus, the fear is usually far worse than the reality. DS had it in July, and I looked after him all day (DP was at work) I had a millitary style 'cleaning' operation in force, including latex gloves, bleach and plenty of boiling water.

Do you have any anti-sickness meds Zoo? I can tell you they are great for preventing vomiting (my absolute worse nightmare)

@ countrylover. I feel exactly the same as you. In some ways I just wish it would happen and we could then get on with our lives again. It's the waiting for itwhich is absolutely killing me. I am an insomniac at the best of times but have been up pretty much
all night every night since last Wednesday when I first heard noro was rife at our school. I am utterly exhausted and so sick of driving myself crazy with this fear and apprehension.

ive tried to avoid anti emets as they are kind of fuelling my fear?

that said if someone could promise me i wouldnt vomit i think id be much less anxious when teh kids are unwell.its the fear im going to get ill that fuels my inability to parent them properly
i have had around an hour disturbed sleep

mil left at 5.30 and told me not to give them any water til 12 to give tummies a chance to settle.i ridgidy stuck to it despite dd2 moaning.there was no chance in hell i could risk them all kicking off again when im alone

they have been given plastic cups water and warned just to sip and i discovered the old computer has a disc drive so i set up a dvd then scurried back out and left them to their own devices

i am not in a good place at all.i think 2 on the go at the same time is sensory overload and i cant get my head round the distress it made me feel

i suffer with depression and today im very very low

i will be in for a little bit,ty to pop in later and defo be back tonight