GP suggest i get rid

[AnotherLoad]

went to see doc today for anti-d's update.

have had up and down days. Mentioned that my patience/temper has been very short since taking the pills. arguing with DP and losing temper with the kids etc...

I said ive been really bad the last month with the urge to buy stuff. Ive decided to rescue some small animals, they keep me busy. hamsters, mice and a rabbit (i also have a lizard & puppy) it may sound crazy but i love getting up in the morning changing the waters, feeding them cleaning the cage... keeps my mind occupied.

but GP says im using it as a distraction and its an adiction that i need to sort out? suggested im taking on too much for myself and im stressing out on my kids??? said that i should get rid of them or a few :(

dont think no one will understand :( feel like hiding in a deep hole!

There's nothing wrong with having an interesting hobby which you enjoy, in fact it's good for you.

When you say "the urge to buy stuff" is this just within reasonable limits? Or do you buy things you don't really want or need?

Do you agree with your GP that you have too much on your plate? Are your ADs working, or might you need a different dose? Did the GP prescribe them for depression, anxiety or something else? And has the GP referred you for therapy at all?

hi

yes im on fluoxetine 20ml for depression & anxiety, they are working - i dont feel so helpless! i was near to having CBT but they couldnt provide childcare so it fell through :( was offered telephonic work but had a down session and hid away for a few days missing the chance to confirm it/ a day. case was closed and refered back to GP.

i bought loads of shoes (only between 5-£8) but i know its wrong :( plus over done it on my DD too, she has 8 pairs at just 2yo! lots of clothes. so yea id say not really needed.

I love animals, ive had people tell me ive got too many and my kids should be enough to make me happy! but the pets dont stress me out, yet the DC's annoy and keep taking the pets out without asking, losing the hamster in the house twice (found!) disturbing lizard whilst sleeping, putting hands in cages etc - which i get cross with. so people are saying i should get rid! i dont know why i shouldnt be able to have some thing that makes me happy and DC's?

I dont know where im at with all this! i just know i have a mashive head ache and a ache of sadness :(

hi AnotherLoad,I think I posted on an animal thread! I did mention or wonder whether you might have a lot of animals.
But if the animals are not getting in the way of anything else,then it shouldnt be a problem.
Would you know at all what might be at the root of your depression at all? eg childhood,unhappiness, PND?

hi amillionyrs

yes i do have lots of animals (mainly rescue) they are well kept and cared for (not like you see on rescue programmes!) I guess alot of people would think the same - depression, too much to take on etc but its the oposite for me. i like to keep busy, like to know they have me to help them. may sound crazy but it helps me feel better about myself.

I do it all by myself, no support with either DC's or animals. I wouldnt 'get rid' of the DC's because they stress me out sometimes! just how i feel.

all 3 you mentioned are the problem.

Are you able to talk to someone,or on here, about your underlying problems?
I havent looked on previous posts,I dont know if you have posted anything on there.

ive been on the mental health threads for a few months, it just helps to get things off my chest on mn. dont think any one can really help.

I dont talk to any one about me (got no one any way) not a sob story or self pitty, just how it is.

I thought GP would of said its good that im doing something for myself but it just upset me when i got flamed for it :( was told im not helping myself maybe i just dont see what every one else does?

I will have a look at your other posts if that is all right with you.

I think i hid most of them after a while?

Have had a look at some of your posts from June onwards.
You sound like a nice woman who doesnt have much confidence,and has had a difficult life.
Can I ask a couple of questions?
such as is your dp back with you?
and what did the GP advise you to do.

GP suggest couple counselling and DP to attend parenting class as he aint that much support when it comes to his DD. i know he wouldnt tho.

all over the place DP & i, just total oposites that clash but need each other! its stupid.

Have you asked him?

he wouldnt go parenting class because he dont think he's that bad at fatherhood. as for counselling its my depression that makes me hide away and not want to go out. (dp is extravert) so this causes arguments between us. talking to some one about 'us' wont help its me that needs fixing so i think different.

GP says i need to leave DD with DP and just let her learn to be away from me but she wont be away from me and im lost with out her. we are stuck together.

plus DP is lack at looking after her and i would rather know she getting the right attention.

Oh gosh.I might give you advice you dont want to follow.Shall I carry on,or shall I pm you,or shall I just stop.And perhaps someone else will come on here and post.

think im a lost cause! i didnt mean to come on here to moan, just that i was upset that my GP & DP think i should get rid of my animals. just needed to vent.

thanks for talking :)

You are not a lost cause.
And you are not really moaning.
Why does your dp think you need to get rid of the animals?

I guess its because i have depression im not suppose to over stress myself!

think both dp & gp think i have enough on my plate with the DC's. on bad days i do think why did i take the rabbit home or get the dog. but its not the animals that make it a bad day - its my head/thoughts.

i know they're probably just trying to stop me from over doing it, i do have manic spending spree's and i reckon they are worried i will end up over doing it?

How many animals do you now have.You dont have to say if you dont want to.And do the kids enjoy the animals too.

I have 10. 1 lizard, 1 rabbit, 1 dog, 2 hamsters & 5 mice. i have photos of them, not sure if any one can see my pics or not?

kids do enjoy them but they have to listen to me more when i say dont put your hand in any cage whilst they're sleeping! they would have them out every 5mins if they could!

DD was jealous of new pups attention for the 1st couple of weeks and gave me grief but she's fine now. DD helped me clean out and change the hamsters cage today & likes to help wash and clean the other. the DC's helped me collect the branches for the mouse house & set it up.

It sounds like you are all having fun with the pets.
I dont think any more would be a good idea though.perhaps if you told everyone that,they might be reassured about the pets.

Dont understand about the spending part of things.Perhaps you could say a little bit more about why you do it?

Would have to say I agree with GP about your Dp looking after your DD.Do you mean he is lax about looking after her? In what ways.

Are the pets,the spending,the time with DD because you would be lost without her,are they all ways of distracting yourself from your thoughts? Or to fill in your time? Or something else.

By the way,I am not a professional.Just a mum.

with the spending i get an idea, like baking - i spent loads on baking tins,trays, ingredients and buying recipe books.

lego for the DC's - hours on ebay searching for lego, having to order hundreds of lego, recieving lego through the post!

I suppose the animals are kind of a spree, not the actual pets but i buy them the biggest best stuff to make their little lives the best.

dont know why? wish i did? i just want to make every one happy maybe, not sure. i do it for them.

Dp doesnt take DD to the park, doesnt want to sit and play (will with a groan from me, although its 10mins!) doesnt like to bath or put to bed, or feed.....
doesnt know much about what she likes her fav things. quite lazy really :(

my thoughts are mainly about one of the DC's or Dp getting hurt, what people think about me, losing those i love, thoughts of if i'd done this or not done that, what i can do to be better.... the animals make me think happy thoughts by knowing im doing good for them, the DC's rely on me so i know i need to be on form.

dont have much spare time tbh, its how i like it although im shattered!

sorry bit long winded.

I will have to google your overdoing things.
Have you looked into it yourself at all,why you may do these things?
You do sound very loving.
I do wonder if,because you dont feel loved by your mum,whether this has got something to do with it all.

I dont know if you live with your Dp.But it his DD.I think he should be encouraged to take a more active role in your DD.The practical stuff he doesnt know,you could write a list,so he has something written down that he could refer too.

I do wonder whether a part time job would suit you.Is there somewhere local,or even volunteering in the first instance,to get you out of the house.Even the pet shop,though I hesitiate to write that in case you end up with more pets!

Has the GP mentioned bipolar disorder anotherloadin or is there anyone in the family with this condition. How many children do you have and is your P the father of them all. Mind I think your mental health needs to be sorted before worrying about P's inability to parent - there are lots of men like this.

I'm not sure about the animal thing except that it sounds like it's another major spending spree, but animals rather than other sortsof goods. You do certainly sound very confused and your aim to "make everyone happy" is not realistic. Maybe at some level you are trying to show your love for your DCs by buying "stuff" as you find it difficult to show your love, and this might be to do with your illness, be it depression, or bipolar, or OCD or whatever else.

I think the GP could see how you were struggling to cope with the kids and partner and thought the animals would just put further stress on you. You do say in one post that there are difficulties sometimes between the kids and the pets that causes you stress.

I think you need to take things steady for a while, and certainly not to buy any more pets. Have you ever had any type of counselling for yourself.

hi amillion, when i googled what i do it came up with some type of bi-polar symptoms? apparently there are 2 types or something? my GP hasnt told me its that.

ive tried to encourage DP to be more around for DD but im getting no where, Ive tried to be with out him, ive pushed him away...i seem to be in a mess either way! :( ive even told him to find someone more out going!

I want to volunteer in animal rescue or shelters when DD starts school. i did want to volunteer for care homes too so either one or both would be nice :)

I couldnt work in a per shop, couldnt be around while they are not kept right, sorry faces with a price tag on their fate. thats why i take them home .

hi nana i have spoke with you before :) i dont know family well enough to know if there is bi-polar in the family, i know my mum has OCD. I have 3 DC's, P is dad to 1 of them. i know theres plenty of men like him but its not helpful for me as me and DD have a bond too tight.

i havent bought all the animals nana some are rescues :) ive wanted to do rescue for a while.

I buy the stuff to do things with the kids, lego mosiacs and baking etc. dont think i show the kids enough love yes :(
I have OCD although not been told, im a clean freak! everything in its place, cant change stuff. has to be perfect/right. OCD right??

I felt angry when DP and GP, plus many MN people possibly think i shouldnt have so many pets. that i should only be a stuck at home mum looking after 3 kids, cooking and cleaning - especially when their fathers have their social lives, sports and hobbies :( i dont have any hobbies, i like animals and can only do it from home cos i have to look after the home and kids.

think every parent gets stressed when kids dont listen, with or with out pets my DC's can wind me up and i rarely get a break. its not their fault. some times i just have a short fuse.

I did counselling once before about family issues. done nothing for me.

I don't think posters are feeling that your shouldn't have your animals - it's just maybe thinking of you and the added stress, but if they are helping you, then of course it doesn't make sense to get rid of them. It doesn't sound like your GP is very helpful.

I'm sorry I can't remember your back story but clearly there are many issues, some relating to your childhood and family life, which have no doubt left you feeling very vulnerable and insecure. Counselling can usually help with this sort of problem, but it depends what sort of counselling you have. On the NHS it is usually CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and some people find it very helpful, others not.

I think the important thing is that you get a proper diagnosis, as some of your symptoms do sound like bi polar (though I don't think any of us on here who are not medics should attempt to diagnose) and you say your mom has OCD and you have diagnosed yourself with it, and are probably right. On top of all this you could have "common or garden" depression. I think you need to book a double appt with a GP (not the one you saw last time) and tell him/her all of your symptoms or print off this page. OR you could just write a list (like a shopping list) of your symptoms. This ensures that you don't leave anything out.

Agree with everything NN posted above.Sounds like good ideas.

Im pretty sure you show the kids enough love.
Can you tell me what it is that frightens you about you being parted from your DD.If we assume that your DP looks after her well enough if he is left instructions if necessary, what would happen to you if he had her on his own for say an afternoon.What would you be thinking or doing? You dont have to answer if you dont want to.