GP suggest i get rid

[AnotherLoad]

went to see doc today for anti-d's update.

have had up and down days. Mentioned that my patience/temper has been very short since taking the pills. arguing with DP and losing temper with the kids etc...

I said ive been really bad the last month with the urge to buy stuff. Ive decided to rescue some small animals, they keep me busy. hamsters, mice and a rabbit (i also have a lizard & puppy) it may sound crazy but i love getting up in the morning changing the waters, feeding them cleaning the cage... keeps my mind occupied.

but GP says im using it as a distraction and its an adiction that i need to sort out? suggested im taking on too much for myself and im stressing out on my kids??? said that i should get rid of them or a few :(

dont think no one will understand :( feel like hiding in a deep hole!

I did a list when i first went to GP, i have told her about everything. including the spending, ocd and bi-polar symptons. she says its all part of my depression.

she suggest that if i sort out the DP things will be a little better, i need to ring for councelling again, continue to take anti d's. the other GP there aint much better tbh! and is hardly there. theres no other close GP near by other then getting on a bus which isnt good for early apps or emergency apps.

Umm, what difference would it make to your life if you kept the animals and got rid of DP??

she wont be looked after as well as me, she has her bumps and trips with me. i mean attention wise and i just feel im the only one who knows her. she aint comfortable staying with ANYONE even DP.

i worry she would be left to her own defence, no bum change or juice, no interaction...probably not so but thats just silly me!

IF he had her for an afternoon theres nothing for me to do? i would just do the usual house work, sorting things etc. or mums net :)

if i was out of the house (not that i have anywhere to but) i would be panicky, worried how she is, is he watching her, is she happy, is she crying. i would get quite anxious.

Does she go to nursery or whatever it is called nowadays?

lol garlic nuts, ive tried getting rid of DP, i went crazy! one of those cant live or without situations.

he would have to take DD away every other week end! sent me mad just the thought of upsetting her and sitting without her. im scared i would do something stupid to get rid of the pain :(

im not with him just for sake of DD, i do love him. he's just a useless father, to be fair ive not come across one father who does as much or more than a mother does. he's still wrong tho im not backing his ways or anything

sorry keep x posting.

she goes nursery in sept 2013. dont know how i will be then? im hoping to get some volunteer work.

may I be bold and say that the "you are afraid of doing something stupid bit" , may be the main reason for not leaving go of your DD?
I do think she would cope being with her dad if it was done gradually.

Is it playing on your mind,your DD going to nursery.May that be why you have upped the numbers of pets recently?
Sounds like you have got a plan though about the volunteer work.Sounds like a good idea.

I know she will love nursery, she will miss me. but i know she is in good hands being kept occupied etc. unlike DP i know how crap he is ( sounds horrible)

no i have upped pets because i love looking after them, and i have the time & space to care for them. i dont want any more DC's and have that need to love some thing -thing???? i think??

if i never had DC's i would of liked to been part of or had some kind of animal rescue career. or care homes. i couldnt do sit down at office or retail. i get worried with sales or numbers!

I can go with out animals, DP but not the DC's. the DS's go to their dad for about 7hrs ever other sat & sun. there dad aint much better but i know they are fed and clean. they are more independant being older to say they are cold hungry, happy sad etc.

Do you think your DP has the ability to harm your DD,either by his neglect,such as not watching closely enough what she is up to,or harming her on purpose?
And what is it you like about your DP,apart from him being an extrovert.

no nothing on purpose, dont want to paint him as that bad :( no he just aint on the ball thats all. he gets easily distracted by face book on his phone for example. she could be saying 'dad' or 'juice' or play, but he's too distracted to hear so i do it.

his company, hugs. him being an extrovert an me an introvert clashes bad, its not that i like him being an extrovert. bit jealous how fun his social life is but i cant get out there and join him, dont like it.

im sounding a right wrongen aint i, sort of its all my own doing. but i know that. this thread was only about me feeling sad at what GP said :(

Dont want you to feel bad.Definitely not what I am trying to do.
I can stop posting if you want me to,especially if you dont feel so sad now at what the GP said.

no you havent made me feel bad, its just how it is. if i did have real life friends they'd be slapping me to get a reality check!

thanks any way :)

I would give you a hug in RL.Sends to AnotherLoad.

Before I go on,if you are ok with me carrying on,I think I need to say that I have been a foster carer a few years ago.I know this may freak you out a bit,from your own bad experience of it.Just thought you ought to know that about me.
I am an ok person,but obviously you dont actually know me in RL,so you can only go by my postings on MN over the last 6 months.

I do shudder at the word social services and the thought of bad carers. but im sure your not like them and you've done nothing personal to me.

Thanks for saying that.I appreciate it.

When your DD goes to nursery in Spetember,things will change anyway.
Presumably you will take her there and back,so you will be getting out and about more,and talking to people more.You may even make some good friends.All this may help your depression too,even if in a small way.

If you think you need to,it could be a good idea to change doctors surgeries.Yours doesnt sound too good for you.