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Mental health

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Original poster

Sorry to start another thread, but I really don't know how I am going to get through this

28 replies

emkana · 14/03/2006 11:02

I'm sorry it's me again. \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=49&threadid=153980&stamp=060313200747\background here}

I feel so alone in all this. Dh says there's nothing we can do anyway, just not to worry and we will be fine no matter what the outcome. Which is an admirable attitude, but not one I can share a lot of the time because I just feel so sad and so f*ing SCARED.

The so-called health professionals have now left me with this uncertainty hanging over my head, but are otherwise giving no help whatsoever. Thought about phoning midwife, but her bloody mobile is always turned off. Don't know who else I could phone to ask about counselling.

The dd's are getting more and more excited as time goes on and are talking more and more about the baby, and that's nearly the hardest thing. I so want to share their joy and excitement but I can't.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I sooooooo wish that we had never seen another consultant at our local hospital, because the old one wouldn't have referred us to the fetal medicine unit because he saw no need, and if we hadn't gone there then I wouldn't be feeling this way now.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 14/03/2006 11:03

Have you been referred for counselling, em?

oops · 14/03/2006 11:04

oh, i am so sorry.
I don't know what o say next rally.
just that i am thinking about you and hoep you get some answers.
Have you thought of trying meditation?
It really helped me when my head was going to explode?
You could get books, or try Transcendental meditation, there may be a course on near you????

yoyo · 14/03/2006 11:07

Have you contacted your GP yet? This is making you so upset (totally understandably) but you do need to see someone. I think of you every day and wonder how you are feeling.

Original poster

emkana · 14/03/2006 11:07

Nobody at either of the hospitals has said anything about counselling.

OP posts:

yoyo · 14/03/2006 11:09

Emkana - if they think there may be a genetic cause then the hospitals will have counsellors. I had counselling with the CF risk.

getbakainyourjimjams · 14/03/2006 11:09

emkana- I really think you should try to get some counselling.

Original poster

emkana · 14/03/2006 11:10

I want to get counselling, but who should I ask???????

OP posts:

Blu · 14/03/2006 11:10

Emkana - GPs can refer people for a certain number of counselling sessions on the NHS - go to your GP.

dinosaur · 14/03/2006 11:11

Emkana, I know what you mean, this high-tech stuff is all very well UNTIL it shows up a potential problem which no-one can then evaluate properly, let alone do anything about. Putting us in a position of having to worry massively, yet fruitlessly, as very very many of us put in this situation will fiind in the long run that there was nothing the matter at all. It's very very frustrating.

Nemo1977 · 14/03/2006 11:12

em you can ask your gp to sort out counselling although in your case the mw may be better as can refer to a specialist counsellor. I am sorry this is happening and I hope you have some answers soon.

you will deal with whatever outcome but I can understand you being so scared.

RnB · 14/03/2006 11:13

emanka, so sorry you are going through this. As has been said, it is a really good idea to get some counselling. Def go to your GP

Nemo1977 · 14/03/2006 11:14

there are also various charities who provide counselling. dont know if someone like tommys or the like can help. Maybe phone your local childrens hospital/maternity hospital and ask them

DumbledoresGirl · 14/03/2006 11:14

I have only briefly read your background but I jts want to echo what others have said here about counselling. I was in a similar position to you when I was pg with ds3 and I was offered counselling. Dh and I went to one session and had several weeks of anxiety but in the end, all came good for us. But there is counselling out there. It was offered me by the hospital direct.

Wishing you all the best.

yoyo · 14/03/2006 11:17

If you can't get hold of your MW contact the maternity unit at the hospital and ask the MW on duty for advice.

Blu · 14/03/2006 11:18

Emkana, I think you are right - you are in the balck hole of worry that can be caused by testing. My post again from the 'consultants stories' thread:

It sounds as if you need an experiened 'listening ear' counsellor to help you cope with this horribel worry, rather than any more experts-in-fetal-medecine counsellors. But I do hope the information which continues to emerge is positive.

And I do not think you are over-reacting to this, it is ok to start threads and be desparate for help. I am not at all surprised that you are in such a state. If you had something definite to prepare for, then you could do it. This is darkness and limbo, and i am so sorry.

XXXXXXXX

getbakainyourjimjams · 14/03/2006 11:28

Someone mentioned Life counsellors on one of your other threads. She mentioned that even though they are pro-life organisation they have a lot of experience in dealing with disability counselling- so they may have experience of the sorts of things you are going through. I thought reading it they sounded as if they could be quite good (and not someone I would usually think of at all). I think the poster had experience of them and had found them useful.

getbakainyourjimjams · 14/03/2006 11:35

\link{http://www.lifeuk.org/gloucester/index.html\here) it might be worth ringing and asking if they can offer you the sort of counselling you are looking for.

I think your dh's attitude is a good one in that it makes the uncertaintly liveable with (ie "it doesn't matter because I'm certain we'll love the baby")- it provides him with certainty that it'll all be fine. But you can't just magic yourself into feeling like that and you sound like you need to go through all the emotions with someone.

getbakainyourjimjams · 14/03/2006 11:36

\link{http://www.lifeuk.org/gloucester/index.html\try again}

getbakainyourjimjams · 14/03/2006 11:52

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=49&threadid=153980&stamp=060313191039#3255351\mrsDarcy's post} near the top- she Monday 7pmish- she talks about the counselling she receieved there.

Enid · 14/03/2006 11:55

sorry emkana, no useful advice but sympathy and hoping for a happy outcome for you x Enid

Bugsy2 · 14/03/2006 12:15

Emkana, been following your story but have no experience of this, so just didn't know what to say. Really hope it works out for you. Thinking of you and fingers crossed.

Original poster

emkana · 14/03/2006 14:32

Thank you for posting.

Just e/mailed the consultant to chase up MRI results - easier that way than on the phone when I'm always on the verge of crying.

OP posts:

Original poster

emkana · 14/03/2006 19:05

Also I will try the midwife again in the morning re counselling.

Unfortunately she's a bit pants, she speaks like she's taken sleeping pills and just doesn't seem to care that much.

OP posts:

FioFio · 14/03/2006 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

Original poster

emkana · 14/03/2006 22:08

Thanks fio. How expensive is this kind of thing?

OP posts:

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