I feel the pain of everyone suffering here.
I have had PTSD for 16 years and can acknowledge what caused it, but cannot talk about something that happened to me as a child and that only re-surfaced after the 16 year-old incident.
I'm now largely agoraphobic and have severe anxiety and depression. I've also had several counsellors who just tell me that if I "really wanted" to get better, I would. My last OT wanted to report something that happened 12 years ago to the police and I went absolutely ballistic. None of the other 3 counsellors I've had, nor the private one I've had for 4 years, have ever suggested that! I told her that if she did, I would tell the police I'd made it all up. All that would do is re-start the low-level harassment my family and I put up with until 2 years ago and the police could do nothing about. She also wanted me to attend her "confidence" group, despite me telling her by phone before seeing her that I did not want any group anything! Oh, and she wanted me to see her along with two male staff members, despite me telling her beforehand that I did not want to see men under any circumstances.
Halfway through my sessions with her, her colleague intervened, telling me that I was NOT depressed/anxious (she took the tick-box form off me halfway through and finished herself, "oh, you're not like this, you're not like that") but she'd give me PTSD, and her best advice was for me to "go home and drink a bottle of wine" as it'd help my hysteria. Cracking bit of advice for someone who takes 3 types of painkillers and 2 anti-depressants, along with other medication. Not to mention that my self-harm habit is at it's most rampant when I've been drinking so I now don't drink.
I've now been handed on to another counsellor/CPN who rang me for a "get-to-know-me chat. She immediately suggested I take up running (I'm on crutches). She also got VERY aggressive when I said I declined the OT's group sessions, repeatedly asking me, "Why do you think she wanted you to do group sessions?" My appointment's in September, I'm seeing my GP in a fortnight and will ask that I be taken off the list. I don't think anything that I've been offered has "helped" me. So what now?
Where do people who are suffering with this condition go for real help? What works? I have no idea, and I don't think anyone who doesn't have it can really understand the nightmares and flashbacks, the immense fear, the physical reactions of nausea and needing the loo - now! Maybe group therapy does work (coming here anonymously certainly helps), but I could never sit in a group and chat about my experiences - I can't even tell my family.
The experiences of people here that are being written off by professionals is appalling. Do these people think they are helping when they lose patience? I could slap them!
Whatsthecatdonenow - I know exactly what you mean, and behave exactly as you do. I was brought up in a business family and the first rule was "customer first" so we all had to smile/be polite/show nothing but concern with the customer even if we were dying inside. "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone" was my mum's favourite saying - she did us no favours with that gem, I can tell you.
Can I suggest, as others have, writing things down as a first strike against the PTSD? Write as far as you can and if you get upset, burn or delete. You might get a bit further each time, you might not. Don't put yourself in a pressured position. Tell yourself that you are in control at all times when writing. If you hate the words, you have the power to destroy them. I must admit, this approach helped me more than any therapist (though I've never kept any of the words I've written), but I'm nowhere near beating it.
It's a slow process, however you try to get over this horrible condition, and I wish you luck with anything and everything you do.