I just can't stop crying, need to get myself together

[Blossomhill]

Have always been a person that has suffered with a lot of anxiety and also depression.
I have a dd with sn (6 yrs) and ds 8 and married for 5 years (together 10) to my dh.

Anyway going through loads at the moment and dd is being assessed for different things with regards to her sn. She has also been very aggresive lately which is a new thing.

My problem is that I am crying non-stop and tbh don't think I have ever cried as hard as I am now iykwim. Sometimes I just feel as though I am literally going to collapse into a heap.

I even cried tonight at parents evening with ds (infact teacher had a box of tissues ready as she knows what I am like

Cried at a support group and even found myself in floods in tesco today.

Basically I have hit rock bottom and feel so sad but not necesarilly depressed, more anxious.

Dh said he thinks I am heading for a nerbous breakdown and should go and see gp. I just don't know if I want ad's as weaned myself off a year ago.

Also been having chest pains too which isn't very nice.

I feel a bit better just writing it all down.

Thanks if you have taken time to read this xxx

Yes,I can see how MN could become an escape from RL.
You have to formulate a plan BH!
What does your dh say about it all??

Ah, yes! The tidy syndrome. I can relate! Staying up till 1AM and later to make sure everything's in its place b/c disorder literally makes me mental. It just seems like loads of clutter everywhere and like it's all caving in.

So what types of things help you to unwind a bit? Maybe enjoy a nice long bath during the day whilst the kids are at school. A walk. Some music.

I just feel so sorry for my kids having a mum like me.

BH,that's bollocks!

You'rea fab mumm! I have proof!

ss - i am fine with other people's mess it's my own i can't tolerate

md - dh rang my mum while i was out yesterday as was so worried. mum took kids to park so i could tidy. now i should have put feet up but no i tidied!

expat - do you know what i don't know what makes me unwind really. i do like walking in nice parks though.

Blimey I am wallowing in it today

Diazepam does it for me, Blossom :o.

I can't take that expat. Makes me buzz all over and not sleep

yikes! not sleeping NOT good when you already have anxiety.

there's lots of stuff out there, though! see your nearest local gp for further details :o.

Thanks expat for giving me advice, especially when you are going through loads yourself xxx

Hi and hope you are feeling better today. If your mum etc can give you a break, get yourself OUT of the house - that way you can't physically tidy/clean etc. I think you said something very interesting - that you don't know what makes you unwind - you need to deal with this - a bit of rest and fun helps keep you fresh, and helps you deal with the cr*ppy stuff. would joining a gym or a book group be your thing? or going to the cinema? agree with other posters about going to the GP. If he/she is any good, hopefully they can suggest relaxation type stuff as well to help with the anxiety.

ooops forgot to say - used to be MTS, but thought it was time for a namechange.

Update:

Have been to see gp and have been put straight back on ad's. Within a day of taking them chest pains have pratically gone. Gp also sent me for ecg just to be safe.
Am starting counselling to help deal with all of my issues surronding dd and her special needs.

Thanks again to all that posted xxx

I missed this thread bh - glad you've seen your gp and are getting some help

puff xx

Oh BH I'm so sorry I missed this. I'm glad you are getting some proper help now.

A rare colditz

Aww thanks colditz and puff. I do feel I am slightly on the mend xxx

havnt read all this thread but i went on Prozac in 1994 when i divorced my husband and although i was reluctant to it was brilliant. It was like divine intervention. The anxiousness lifted and then the depression. Wanted to die before i went on prozac so it really helped. Hope you feel better soon.