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Original poster

I just can't stop crying, need to get myself together

42 replies

Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:02

Have always been a person that has suffered with a lot of anxiety and also depression.
I have a dd with sn (6 yrs) and ds 8 and married for 5 years (together 10) to my dh.

Anyway going through loads at the moment and dd is being assessed for different things with regards to her sn. She has also been very aggresive lately which is a new thing.

My problem is that I am crying non-stop and tbh don't think I have ever cried as hard as I am now iykwim. Sometimes I just feel as though I am literally going to collapse into a heap.

I even cried tonight at parents evening with ds (infact teacher had a box of tissues ready as she knows what I am like Blush

Cried at a support group and even found myself in floods in tesco today.

Basically I have hit rock bottom and feel so sad but not necesarilly depressed, more anxious.

Dh said he thinks I am heading for a nerbous breakdown and should go and see gp. I just don't know if I want ad's as weaned myself off a year ago.

Also been having chest pains too which isn't very nice.

I feel a bit better just writing it all down.

Thanks if you have taken time to read this xxx

OP posts:
SleepySuzy · 06/03/2006 21:07

Go to your gp. Tell him/her your concerns about ads. You definately need help. There are always people to listen if you need to chat. (You can always have my email address :))

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:09

Aww thanks sleepy suzy :)

I am just so ashamed that I am not stronger.

OP posts:
Flip · 06/03/2006 21:11

I know what you mean about ad's. It takes so long to be off them and feel okay that the thought of needing them adds to the pile of troubles. I do think you should go to your GP and ask for something else. Recently my mum suffered a sort of break down. We've had a lot of bereavements to deal with and even though my mum was never particulary close to my dad's mum, when she died it was as if everything that had happened that twelve months previous came to squash her all at once. I went to see the GP on her behalf as she was a total wreck and couldn't speak without bursting into tears. He gave me some valium for her and I thought, great, what will that do. She took them for four days and they basically stopped the emotions. You know things are going on but you don't feel. Gradually she went to half a tablet and then stopped them and the flood of emotions didn't return. If you've had a lot of cope with as my mum had, maybe you need something to just switch off for a little while. I know it isn't easy to be like that when you've got kids to take care of but you know you need help. Go and see your GP and ask for it.

I really hope you feel better soon and take care of yourself.

SleepySuzy · 06/03/2006 21:11

You have already showed you are strong by asking for help. DO NOT BE ASHAMED. [email protected]

me23 · 06/03/2006 21:11

hi I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.
I can't add anything particulary helpful, but want ed to let you know I am going though the same thing with regards to the crying etc mine is due to relationship issues i.e partner thinks he wants to leave. I'm not coping with it at all crying all the time can't imagine how he can leave how my life will be, it feels like im goning to have a breakdown I'm scared of feeling this way. sorry didn't mean to go on about my probs,.

you're haing a stressful time worring about your child it's understandable.

maybe you might need to have some councilling if you didnt want ad's, did they help you before? if so it might be worth trying them again untill things are more settled.

hope you are ok.

lars · 06/03/2006 21:17

Hi Blossomhill, sorry to hear your feeling very low at the moment. You are going through a difficult time with dd and it's not easy.

I don't know what else to say to you really,but the chest pain is stress, had this myself.

I have good days and bad days and you need to take some time for yourself, easy said then done i know.
Tomorrow is a new day and spring will be here soon which always makes you feel a little better.

Larsxx

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:26

Flip - thanks. I am def. going to see gp. Have also arranged for counselling with a lady specialised in parents who have sn children. Just waiting for appointment. Is your mum ok now?
Suzy - not on msn tonight but I will add you. Thanks
me23 - sorry you are going through hard times too. I know we are going through different issues but feelings are the same and it's not nice at all :(

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 06/03/2006 21:28

Aw, Blossom! My heart goes out to you. I had panic attacks yesterday w/chest pains w/my PND.

Please see your GP. I finally broke down and took a prescribed mild tranquilser after two major anxiety attacks. Felt MUCH better today.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

Flip · 06/03/2006 21:34

My mum is back to her normal self now and we've just had another bereavement, my dads sister, which she has coped with very well.

Counselling can be very good and I know I got a lot out of speaking to ds1's phycologist. We spent a couple of sessions discussing me and how I felt.

I recently went to a support group for parents who had children with behavioural issues like my ds. The most important thing I took away with me from those sessions was making some time for me. I found it so hard at the beginning to say what I had done for myself that week. A couple of times I felt so bad I walked out. Then towards the end I was a different person and I was making time for me. My neighbour and I have an arrangement every Wednesday night. Coffee at Starbucks and then movie. It's my time.

Make some time for yourself and grab all the help that's offered. Take care.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:36

Expat - you poor thing. I didn't realise things had got so bad for you :( I suffered pnd with ds so know how horrible it is. Hope things get better for you.

I am going to gp asap, promise xxx

OP posts:
moondog · 06/03/2006 21:39

BH..so sorry to hear you feel rough.
It is apparent from your posts that a there is a lot of pain in your life. Sad

You know my e amil if you need to discuss anything in particular ok??

XX

lars · 06/03/2006 21:40

Blossomhill, hope you feel better, there some good advice for you here. The counselling sounds good. Take care larsxx

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:40

Flip - glad your mum is better.
I have a major problem having time for me and relaxing. Even though both kids at school and I am a SAHM I always have an iron/broom/mop etc in my hand. Always keep busy. Never sit and watch tv or relax. Need to do it I know.

OP posts:
SleepySuzy · 06/03/2006 21:42

Been through my fair share of crap, but would not be able to share on mnet. I really hope things look up for you. Things do get better, especially as you admit you need help, and know there is a problem. You are obviously willing to help yourself.

There are lots of people here to talk to. x

moondog · 06/03/2006 21:42

BH..I've said it before.
You need to do something for you
The house and its chores can overwhelm you when you're an sahm.
How about a course or a p/t job?

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:42

Moondog - that would be great. I'll email you if that's ok?

Lars - sorry meant to reply to your first post Blush I am so scatty atm Thanks for your advice. I do think we have lots of things in common with regards to our children etc. So glad to hear you sounding positive :)

OP posts:
moondog · 06/03/2006 21:43

hth

Flip · 06/03/2006 21:44

You do need to make time. Get out one night and let your dh handle everything. I'm looking at my living room at the moment and it's a minefield of toys and debris. The kids have been in bed for two hours and I've just said to hell with it.

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:45

sleepysuzy - i know what you mean. i don't normally post personal things but in a way i feel so bad keep going at people close iykwim

moondog - I know you are right, I need something else. Just so hard when you have 2 kids at 2 schools.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:46

It's another part of my anxiety, have to have house as tidy as possible. Do allow kids to make a mess and not on at them. When they are at school I make sure every room is tidy or I feel anxious!

OP posts:
SleepySuzy · 06/03/2006 21:46

You can make time for yourself, even if it's just half an hour to an hour. It may sound hard, but it does help.

moondog · 06/03/2006 21:47

I promise you that the things about which you are brooding will seem less significant if/when you hve more in yuor life.
Start small...go to the gym,take a computer course or something.

moondog · 06/03/2006 21:48

BH...my house is very tidy too,and like you,know that as anxiety increases,it gets tidier and tidier. Blush

Original poster
Blossomhill · 06/03/2006 21:49

Moondog - also find as I get more low spend more time on here. Almost like I am trying to block real world out.

OP posts:
SleepySuzy · 06/03/2006 21:50

Moondog is right, oh.. and can you both come round to my house please? ;)