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Sick of perfect people ramming it down my throat

50 replies

Scrounginscum · 15/07/2012 09:20

I admit it I am a failure, scum the shit on your shoe but do you really have to remind me of it every chance you get? Do you not think I feel bad enough already?

Well let me tell you I do feel bad, feel guilty, I hate myself more than anyone in the World. I wake up every morning thinking shit I'm still alive.

Does it really make you such a great person, so big and wonderful to try and make me feel more shit? Seems to because you seem to enjoy it so much. Well I wish you would just STFU go and enjoy your perfection quietly, I'll kill myelf when I figure out how to do it properly.

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 15/07/2012 09:23

Anything you want to talk about?

Fwiw, remember we are all different, the only person who can let you feel inadequate is you, some people's opinions aren't worth the air they use to form the words.

Alurkatsoftplay · 15/07/2012 09:24

You sound v low and v angry.

Who are these perfect people and why a re their thoughts important to you?

Borntobeamum · 15/07/2012 09:26

Even perfect people have flaws.....x

yousankmybattleship · 15/07/2012 09:26

I hope you are ok. You sound very angry and unhappy.

For what its worth there are no such thing as perfect people!

more · 15/07/2012 09:26

He/she is properly just trying to feel good about her/his own imperfections. It is always easier to fix someone else rather than fixing your own faults.

50ShadesOfGreggs · 15/07/2012 09:29

There will always be someone out there telling you that they're better/richer/more intelligent etc. than you.

The mere fact that they are doing it shows that they are in fact very insecure, and it makes them feel better about themselves to belittle others.

And for what it's worth, no one, I repeat NO ONE is a failure.

Just ignore them OP and focus on yourself :)

Dprince · 15/07/2012 09:36

The people who do this are insecure and making themselves feel better. I would feel sorry for them.
However it is possible they are not doing this at all and you take harmless comments as a slight against you.
Without know the situation its impossible to say which it is.

Scrounginscum · 15/07/2012 09:49

My boss tells anyone who'll listen what she thinks of me and she really doesn't like me. I am frantically job hunting and in 3 months have had 34 rejections and 72 no replies. Then there are a few who delight in telling me getting a job is easy if you can't you aren't trying or there's something wrong with me. There are more gems.

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 15/07/2012 09:57

Well the people telling you getting a job at the moment is easy are clearly twats, for some people maybe, but the majority struggle.

You're boss also sounds like a twat, is there anyway you can raise a grievance? She's paid to keep her personal opinions to herself and is being unprofessional and bullying you.

You however, don't sound like a twat and need to remember that you're better than any of these people and eventually will get yourself a new job and they will still be twats.

Losingitall · 15/07/2012 09:58

Perfection is the biggest flaw anyone can have!

Chill! X

Dprince · 15/07/2012 10:06

Why is your name scrounginscum. Why do you feel that way?

gottohide · 15/07/2012 10:10

Ignore the people who are telling you getting a job in this economic climate is easy. It jolly well isn't.

My DH never had any problems snapping up almost any job he wanted in the past (not trying to stealth boast, honest), but now has gone months himself with no luck at all despite applying for almost everything he sees.

There are just too many applicants for every vacancy at the moment, and its tough for everyone.

For what its worth, I used to seriously hate myself too. And unfortunately, there are some very predatory-type people out there who can smell that kind of insecurity like a shark smells blood.

I think from my own experience that the only way to heal yourself is to make peace with yourself (and then friends with yourself).

For me, what started to work was an exercise involving writing letters to myself... I would write one expressing why I hated myself so much, and what it was about myself that really aggravated me (and realised it was mostly repeats of things my parents had said to me, in my case).

I then had to pretend I had just overheard someone saying those things to another human being, and wrote another letter defending that person and trying to make them feel better, whilst scolding the 'aggressive' voice.

Eventually this began to work for me because I realised I really am just another human being... and so are you. You don't have to be perfect. You're allowed to get things wrong and do things wrong. You're allowed to be flawed (we all are).

If you really want to change things about yourself (most of us do), don't jump to the final picture and think about how impossible a goal it is. Just pick one small step at a time and focus on that. Most of us will change our whole lives, and I'm not sure there ever is a point we can stop and say "Thats it, I'm perfect now. I don't need to change any more." Which means we really do have to enjoy the journey, not the destination, and to accept ourselves at every stage of that journey.

Sorry for the essay, but really wish you the best.

lovebunny · 15/07/2012 10:13

look for help - doctor, get counselling, financial advice from websites etc.

ignore perfect people. practise closing your mind to them, and to the people who have more than you do and think that is a virtue.

try to love yourself a little bit. you don't have to be anything special to be worthy of love, just existing is enough.

gamerwidow · 15/07/2012 10:15

Well your boss sounds lovelyHmm. How unprofessional for her to behave like this and how horrible for you to be forced to deal with her idiocy.

It is hard for everyone to find work these days and it is to your credit that you have persevered despite the knock backs.

Keep trying and believing in yourself and don't let others dent your confidence.

Latara · 15/07/2012 10:21

Your boss is a twat for being nasty to you.

Your best revenge is to go to work, smile all the time, be super extra nice to her & everyone else, & respond to her complaints / any unfair comments in an assertive yet very polite & super nice manner...

it's hard work; but trust me, it will irritate her!
Because you will look good to everyone around you; so she won't be able to moan about you without looking bad.

& that will make work a LOT more fun :))

Meanwhile good luck in your job search; it's not easy but if you are desperate to leave your current job then try anything different.

Or do some voluntary work / a new hobby where you can mix with new people outside work - that will boost your confidence.

No-one is perfect.
I have to top up my wages with benefits due to chronic illness; i hate claiming but there's no choice.

Latara · 15/07/2012 10:24

gottohide is right - if you hate yourself then it tends to show to the type of people who like to pick on others.

I've learnt to accept myself for who i am; if other people don't like me that's their issue.
Luckily it turns out that people like me; i just hadn't noticed because i was too depressed!

McHappyPants2012 · 15/07/2012 10:31

That is work place bullying have you got a union. Does your boss have a boss or does he/she own the company.

How in the fuck is the boss getting away with it

MammaTJ · 15/07/2012 10:33

Having a bully for a boss is no fun!! I remember it well.

Good luck with the job hunting!!

pinkyp · 15/07/2012 10:34

People who have to belittle others are very insecure or very unhappy with their own lives. I don't think job hunting is easy at all, and I think those that brag about what they have is only because really they have so little.

GinAndStoic · 15/07/2012 10:34

I think that you need to work on yourself before looking at other people. its very easy to take things out of context and imagine slights where there are none. you are obviously very unhappy.

babyheaves · 15/07/2012 10:34

Who are these people who are saying these things to you?

McHappyPants2012 · 15/07/2012 10:36

Contact ACAS cant link the web page as I am on a phone.

But please don't let this bully get you down, you have the law on your side.

Heck you could even get compensation for the way she/he treating you

WhatWouldMargoDo · 15/07/2012 10:36

Get help

Go to the gp

Go to the CAB

Go to a family law solicitor

Get real life help with your depression, your financial situation and the situation with your ex h.

Stop popping back up on here with increasingly hysterical self pitying threads where you proceed to ignore everyone's advice.

If you must post, use mental health or relationships or employment issues rather than aibu.

You are not helping yourself. And I am not saying that to be a bitch or unkind or smug or perfect, I am telling you this because IT WILL HELP YOU.

RealityStrikesAgain · 15/07/2012 10:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VolAuVent · 15/07/2012 10:50

What McHappyPants2012. Sounds like workplace bullying and the law is on your side. Keep records of what is said and when.