Help please, don't know what to do

[ghaghagha]

I'm in an awful state, anxiety sky-high - cant stop shaking and heavy breathing, I've just tried to get up and do something but ended up pacing and getting more anxious.I tried doing something which is usually a good diversion tactic but for the first time ever it didnt work.

I've run out of meds and havent even made an appointment to see about getting new ones, I hate leaving the house. I've been taking them for 4 weeks now and dont feel any better in fact i think I might be worse. I'm obsessed with moving and internet searching for houses I havent got the money to move into anyway, but it's all I can think about, I feel like I can't function until I leave this place

My daughters due back home today and I'm sitting in the same clothes I've had on since friday, I stink, the house is a mess and I dont feel any kind of control but I'm desperate for her not to see me like this. I feel like I should ring someone but dont know who? I dont want anyone to see me like this, one look at me and my house and my daughter will be taken into care.

Bump

Hey gha i know how hard it can be, but try setting yourself some little achievable goals like having a wash and changing your clothes. It will make you feel better to be doing something.
Call the doctor and get an emergancy appt. to get some more meds. They take a while to work but have a little faith. Are you taking citalopram?

ok breath, just breath in and out shut your eyes, think of beautiful things, the sea, the sky, flowers...........breath in and out

meds take a while to kick in but you must keep taking them, i promise they will work, i'm on them too.

can u call your local crisis team, does your gp do telephone appointments
is there anyone you trust that u can confide in?

what meds were you on? do u have an diazepam or anything in the house

what time is your dd due home?

no puds fluoxetine 20mg, ran out on saturday, do you think the doctor would do me a script without going to see them? I don't know if i can bring myself to leave the house.

I also feel panicky when I'm away from the internet - I know sounds mad but it feels like my safety net, cant explain why - almost as if while I'm looking for houses to rent and asking for help on here I'm doing something to help myself. when in reality I suppose Im not doing anything of the sort

I'm not sure what time xroads, but probably sometime this afternoon. Every time I think about her I start crying, I dont want her to come back to this horrible house and a mother thats in the state im in

You may be able to get them to do a house call if you ring and explain what the situation is.

Asking for help is doing something to help yourself. There are a lot of people on this board who have been in a similar situation and that will be able to give you good advice. I know they did for me, and the recurring advice was always to keep taking the medication.

Do you have anyone local you can call to come help you tidy up etc.?

No I don't have anyone at all, it would takes weeks to clear this shithole anyway not a couple of hours, its disgusting

You won't be in that state when she comes home. Because you are getting help and you are going to sort it. But for now you are going to just breathe in and out and think of lovely things and listen to this

phone ur gp and explain sometimes if your on a repeat prescription even ur pharmacist will give u a few .

fluoxetine has a very long half life so missing 2 doses shouldnt be too bad,

in whole internet thing is a symptom of ur anxiety, the need for reassurance

now how do you feel?

How long have you been feeling like this op? I really think you should ring the doctors and see if they can help you.
How old is your DD?

next you need/ have to:

ring the gp to collect a perscription.
shower, put clean clothes on (unironed doesnt matter)
then brush your teeth and your hair.

a few weeks now on and off, yesterday was bad but today is worse. I feel like I do little things to improve my situation and work towards getting better then something happens to knock the wind right out of my sails again.

I just feel hopeless, even if I get better I still have to live here and I LOATHE it so much I can't even tell you. I hate leaving the house even to put rubbish in the wheelie bin.

If I ring the doctors what should I say? do I tell the receptionist or do I ask to speak to a doctor?

ask to collect a repeat perscription. it will take less than 2 mins.

we all feel like that, we have good days, bad days, truely awful days. but we don't give up.

and on top of everything the guilt that I'm fucking my daughters life up is unbearable

Do you hate it because it feels untidy/ dirty?

your daughter wont think that. ever.

Im not on repeat Xroads, this was my first script and have to have a review before I get another. I really cant see me leaving the house to go to the doctors, I know I'm sounding pathetic and defeatist, but I dont think I can do it.

If you rind the receptionist and explain the situation, they normally have the doctor ring you back. Is your DD old enough to go pick up the prescription?
Do you know what triggers your anxiety?

If you ask the receptionist to get the dr to ring you back they will often do you a script for a small amount over the phone in situations like this, on the proviso that you make an appointment to see them properly soon.

No she isn't 0ld enough to collect it. Main triggers are the area I live in, feeling that I've let my daughter down in every way and financial difficulties. The first thought that popped into my head when I woke this morning was "I have to move" and thats when it started