Doctor told me to just pull myself together

[mamaslittlealoo]

I need some advice. I have had depression before (in my early teens and also PND) and I feel I may be slipping back in to it. I have a big change coming up in my career and we also have horrid home situation involving my stepdaughter. I'm not sleeping hardly at all - I just lay in bed awake worrying about naything from trivailities of the next day, to things that might happen to my daughter who is at infant school.

It's been going on for a couple of months so yesterday I finally plucked up the courage to see my doctor.

He basicaly told me I have nothing to worry about, he arrived in the UK with £15 in his pocket and he managed to get out of bed every morning. I told him that some days it was a struggle and that I was finding it hard to go to work every day all day, and then have the energy to look after the house duties and car for my daughter, support my husband with the problems he has with his dd etc. He said "oh i suppose you want me to sign you off work then? is that why you came here?" I told him it wasn't which was the truth - I wouldn't get paid if I was off for a start.

He says he doesnt "subscribe" to depression and I really need to pull myself together in order to be able to care for my daughter.

I feel worse now than I did before and had thoughts of self harming for the first time since i was 14 years old. I don't know if to be angry or sad.

please go see a different GP.

You need to find another doctor!

move GPs and if you can face it complain to the practice manager. It's not up to him to 'subscribe' to depression - it's an illness like any other, not optional.

Another doctor is required, the one you saw obviously has no clue about depression and the fact that it is caused by chemical imbalances which can be brought on by stress.
So what he survived that sort of thing? All that means is his brain is not susceptible to the chemical imbalances that bring on depression. Idiot man.

What madmouse said.

I'm a doctor and I'm horrified that a health professional would speak to you like that. Please please see someone else and complain via the practice manager. You give the impression in your op that he isn't UK trained and sadly there may not be the same emphasis on mental health in some curriculums.

Be angry. Complain to the practise manager. When you're suffering from depression, you cannot 'pull yourself together'. What an idiot!

That sounds a really inappropriate and unprofessional response. This was an NHS GP? How can he 'not subscribe' to depression - it's a recognised (and potentially very serious) medical condition, he can't just choose not to believe in it or diagnose/treat it!

Can you make an appointment with another doctor (if there's more than one in your practice)? And you'd probably be justified in making a complaint about this one. I can imagine how bad you must be feeling having taken the big step of reaching out for help and had such a disappointing response, but you really haven't done anything wrong here. I hope you don't hurt yourself, and do keep trying to get the help you need.

Sorry you are having such a hard time. You need to see if a diffenent GP and agree is you can manage it complain, what terrible treatment.

I think you need to go to see a different doctor. They are not all aresholes.

And report this moron to the practice manager. He shouldn't be allowed to see patients if he is that incompetent.

You need to go and see another GP, that one is out of order.

How awful for you. You must go and see another doctor asap-like today if you can. Otherwise contact you health visitor. This GP's attitude was totally unacceptable and I'm outraged for you. I know how difficult it is to ask for help for metal health issues.

sorry -'mental' not 'metal'

How awful, if only it were that simple pulling yourself together!. Please go to see another GP, and complain.

You should complain to the practice manager (and the Trust if the GP practice is run by a Trust), and the GMC.

Your Doctor sucks and you absolutely need to see another one.

It's on a par with the Doctor who after listening to my similar symptoms and hearing of my couple of years of constant family disasters, coping with families life limiting illnesses, threat of homelessness and refereeing family arguments gave me this advice, "you'll be fine once you've got a boyfriend, you should go on the pill."

wrydmother

The volume and speed of your responses has made me cry. Thank you so much. I just called the practice manager and she urged me to call a local therapy service which is offered on the NHS, she said she would send a referal ahead of my call. I think there is a long waiting list so it will probably take a while for therapy to start.
She asked me a whole list of questions which made me feel like someone was listening. When I said I had thought about harming myself she apologised again for what the doctor said to me.
To be honest though I had around 20 hours of therapy during the second half of last year and we covered a lot of ground but ultimately I do think it is a chemical inbalance that makes me prone to depression and anxiety and as much as I appreciate that talking it out is useful - I feel I need some chemical help to balance me while I work through the cognative stuff, so i can function on a daily basis without it being a huge battle.

I asked about another doctor but she said that will be the opinion of the other one as well. She sounded pretty embarrassed.

Do as MrsMicawber suggests re letter of complaint and go and see another GP. How awful when you were so brave and got yourself there in the first place! PLEASE make another appointment with someone else. (I should have done that when I was 25 and the doctor told me I wasn't depressed, I was jealous because my [then] dh had a proper graduate job and I didn't . I wish I could go back in time and escort myself gently to another doctor, instead of feeling more unworthy and more of a failure). You deserve so much better. And he deserves to be disciplined.

Sorry my message crossed with yours... Is there a walk-in GP service anywhere near you? Or could you call a mental health charity for advice? Sorry to be so unhelpful, I just can't bear the idea of you going for help and not getting it.

I wonder if I could just register at another surgery? It would all take time though which, with a 6 year old and a full time job I don't really have.

The practice manager is out of order telling you to contact the therapy service - she is not in a position to diagnose you or tell you what you need.

And if she is so sure that the other doctor would say the same it is time to register at another practice and complain about the practice. But get on with finding a new practice and getting seen first.

Am really cross on your behalf. You really should complain .I sometimes feel as a patient GP doctors do not know enough about mental health but for one to dismiss depression outright like that is shocking and disgraceful. I worry if that is how he talked to you how many other patients is he pushing over the edge ?