To still be bothered by this?

[MakesCakesWhenStressed]

Wasn't sure where to post this. Struggled with the birth I ended up having, posted on mn before when it was still fresh. Managed to come to terms with a lot of it, but recently started having memories that are almost like flash backs that I can't block out. It's 3 months on and I can't think about that first night without pain. I can't even talk about it properly here because I find it so hard.

I keep thinking i've got past it, then it surges up again. I don't know what to do...

Come post in mental health where you will find you're not alone.

Various things may help you: A debrief with a midwife and your records, some counselling, even antidepressants.

You seem to have some symptoms of post traumatic stress.

you should possibly see your GP about this. You may be suffering PTSD and the way forward is to get some counselling from a professional.

I am nearly 11 months post partum and only just starting to feel like I am over the birth and aftermath. But don't follow my example of hoping it will go away - seek help.

I don't know anything about it, but don't want you to go unanswered. Have you talked to your health visitor or GP about any of this? It sounds like you may be suffering from some kind of post trauma stress. There will be support out there and I hope someone who knows more about it than I do will come along soon.

Also, life with a small baby is HARD, and gives you no time, energy or mental space to process big thoughts, like coming to terms with a difficult birth, so dont be too hard on yourself!

birth trauma thread

It could well be PTSD, I suffered the same after a horrific birth with DS. It wasn't diagnosed until I fell pregnant with DD 2.5 years later and kept bursting into tears at my ante natal appointments because I was so frightened of giving birth again. Please talk to someone about this, it is a horrible thing to deal with. After a lot of talking, some hypnosis and a wonderful birth with DD I rarely think about DS's birth anymore, having spent 2.5 years agonising about it several times a day for 2.5 years.

I see you've had the thread moved. Welcome

It moved all by itself.

I spike to my mw and then my lovely hv early on. I've made an appt to see the hv again this thurs.

I hate when people try and reassure me that at least I have a healthy baby. It's like because this horriblr event was to do with a baby i'm not allowed to feel bad for myself as long as the baby is alright. I derek like screaming ' what about me?' And hate how selfish that sounds

Feel, not derek

It doesn't sound selfish at all. You didn't stop being a complete person with feelings and all just because you had a baby! And you're no less grateful for your baby just because you are struggling with the birth.

Keep talking about it.

It doesn't matter what you think you 'should' feel and it doesn't matter with bells on what anyone else thinks you 'should' feel.

Thing's are as they are and with the right help they could be a lot better. This means better for you but also better for your whole family.

You and your family deserve to be able to put your traumatic birth behind you and you should feel no guilt whatsoever in attempting to achieve that goal through whatever means work for you.

Finally it is not and never can be selfish to want to be a whole person free once again from pain and fear.