Appointment with psychiatrist - scared. Please will someone hold my hand?

[Grockle]

I've been depressed for months and it's not getting better. I'm not terribly unhappy, I just don't care about anything and wish I'd died years ago. I still cook, clean, go to work, look after DS and I'm not suicidal (although was a bit several weeks ago), I just wish I weren't here.

I don't sleep well, I feel sick all the time & can't eat or concentrate on anything and this appointment looming is scaring me. I don't want to live like this but I have no choice. What will a psychiatrist do?

I have other health issues, massive stresses with exP, DS is waiting for plastic surgery, I'm barely managing to do my work but I'm coping. I just think i'm under a lot of pressure. I don't know what to do.

Do phone the GP, Mof3. Zpoliclone is a wonder drug, I love it. To the point of not being allowed it anymore but it gives me a blissful night's sleep with no grogginess the next day.

I'm feeling fat & numb today. I went for a beautiful walk with DP but feel so detached. And I've put on 1/2 a stone in 6 weeks even though I'm barely eating anything.

The isolation is horrible. I either withdraw, which doesn't help or I force myself to go out anyway & put on a big act. I never understand how I can feel so alone and empty in a room full of friends. There's been several gatherings at various friend's home recently and they still all talk about the one at my house. I've been invited to 2 parties from 2 'rival' groups of mums at school and it dawned on me today that perhaps people do actually want to spend time with and maybe they even like me. I've never really felt like anyone liked me before. I've always felt l as if people just tolerate me. Even so, I still feel alone. And I prefer to be by myself. It's easier than keeping everyone at arm's length and feeling defensive all the time.

How are you Mof3.......NNx

Sorry Mof3 I don't want to look like I am stalking you but I am worried about you.

Hi Grockle how are you today. Don't worry about putting on weight - what does it matter in the grand scheme of things. Sort of fair to middling here -ah well we just have to keep on "keeping on" don't we as we don't really have an option. I sometimes think that in 100 years time (or sooner) medics will know far more about brain disorder and will have a cure, and people will say "Oh god what did people have to do before the laser treatment (just an example) and." they will be told "well they had to keep trying different drugs and sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't." .....just musing! x

Hello - I'm up and down. Weight matters because it'll trigger other issues & I can't deal with them on top of everything else. I know my mental health is a priority but I also don't want to make things more complicated than they already are.

I'm plodding along. Try very hard to keep myself on an even keel but struggling. I've never had such extreme emotions at the moment nor such unpredictable ones. I shock myself at how angry I'll suddenly feel & I KNOW my reaction is not reasonable but I can't help feeling so intensely about things. It's odd.

Between that and not sleeping, I'm a grumpy old mare. Had a massive falling out with DP over his MH too. I think I need to end it (have been told many times on relationship threads to walk away but I can't do it... so I'm torturing myself, 'just in case' it all is suddenly ok with him.

I'm so worried that my life will be always like this - good periods with awful depressions in between. I don't want to be suicidal again.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Just wondering how motherofthreegirls is?