Support thread - adults on the Autistic Spectrum :)

[fuzzpig]

Hello!

I've seen a lot of MNers mention being on the Spectrum, whether diagnosed or not. I thought we could use a long-running place to chat, share coping strategies and basically to know there are other people like ourselves, who won't judge us for being different.

I'm new to all this myself - only realised there was a possible name for How I Am a couple of weeks ago (thanks to MN)! Now I have a referral to an adult ASD specialist, to see if I have Aspergers. It's all happened very quickly.

Enough waffle from me (for now anyway...) but I hope other people will come along and find this thread useful. :)

Hi, Pink. Obsessed? Me? Not at all... . But THIS year. Watch out amateur veg. people.

Hi, I've been lurking on this thread and have found it very interesting. I just found out in September that my ds has asd, he's 5 but I didn't see a problem until it was spelled out to me because I think he is just like me and I thought his quirky little personality and obsessions were 'normal'. At his paediatrician appointment for his asd the paed pointed out to me that he is hypermobile and has hypotonia and was amazed at how bendy he was, I thought she had misdiagnosed him because I was just as bendy and I thought everyone else was too, then a week later a specialist pointed out to me that I also have hypermobility which got me wondering if the little quirky things that ds and I have in common is related to asd.

I done a few of the tests and each one I had a high score for having autism, I took the aspie test offered on this thread too and got a score of 159/200 for aspie and a score of 41/200 for nt. I started researching asd traits in girls and found that it was earily like reading all about me and now I am really confused. I'm quite an anxious person and always felt different, from as far back as I can remember but I'm not sure if my scores on these tests are being influenced by my anxiety and that's why it seems like I might be on the spectrum.

Sorry I meant to add too, since finding out about DS and doing research, I have found out lots of things that I thought were normal and everyone done, but it is actually seen as quite unusual. I also find it so difficult to maintain any close friendships and I really don't like socialising at all, I'm so awkward it is cringeworthy.

Lots of little things like not liking being touched gently, not liking shaking hands or hugging people I don't know that well, not liking to be touched by anyone other than DP and DS, not liking bright lights or loud noises, being stupidly clumsy (even things like constant ear worm that I read last night on this thread which never stops for me) I thought were completely normal, and now I'm confused about what is a 'normal' reaction or behaviour and what isn't.

Well, it certainly sounds like you have traits, at least. The thing is, I think, not to worry about a 'diagnosis' as such, but to find ways to manage things which make life more difficult for you (us) than it may be for NT people.

For example, I go to meetings a fair bit, but have terrible problems getting names and faces into my head. Luckily they are mh involvement meetings, so I am able to explain that I have mild face blindness without people looking puzzled.

Ooh another new poster! Aren't we popular today unlike in real life :o

Hello INJM, it is really weird reading about yourself (or that's what it feels like) isn't it! I have recently enjoyed this book - I won't bore you now with why I liked it, but I will say that the product review on there was written by me

ImNotJustMum, I remember being told that normal people can't smell books. I was like . To be honest, I'm still not convinced. How can people not smell books? That's some serious impairment they have! :o

ImNotJust - I'll join you in the surprise! I thought everyone was like this - after all, you hear endless comments about being shy, or finding it difficult to make friends etc etc, and just write yourself down as a bit socially awkward, or low self-esteem, or whatever. And the constant background anxiety - well, that's another common one, surely?

But having read that spreadsheet, I thought, yes! E.g. I do walk on my toes a lot, but how on earth is that either relevant or different to anyone else! Everything on that list is true . I was IQ'd in my teens at school as 160, but can be numbingly thick at working out what people are trying to say to me...

If you were to ask my daughter to give you one phrase that she associates with her mother it would be 'how can someone so clever be so bloody stupid?'. This is the mantra she hears on a regular basis. I mean, how can someone who has a genius level IQ and has taught themselves Japanese and Kinyarwanda not figure out that putting your wet jeans in the oven is bad idea?

Hello - I have been lurking on this thread - according to some tests (and one of my sisters) I have aspie traits - not so much regarding social unease (I am at relative ease in social situations and enjoy going out I don't get anxious) but touch sensitive, slightly obsessive flitting from one consuming interest to the next rather haphazardly very clumsy and rather to MR Logic about things sometimes (DH finds that side of me rather offputting I think).

My Mother has recently realised that her lifelong struggle with depression and social anxiety is probably due to AS - she would probably score very highly on the tests - she has no idea how to read people or judge social situations she can be excruiatingly rude without realising (then obsess about how people may feel about her afterwards), she is very caring and kind and absolutely hates any kind of injustice. I do not know a) whether a diagnosis would be of any use now she is over 60. b) How she would go about getting a diagnosis.

I also wonder about my children - ds (7) is obsessed with star wars lego and will give me lectures on the relative differences between various charaters and the ways he can customise each figure (at length) he spends all his computer time watching you tube videos showing how to make each figure/ battle scene etc. The dd1 (6) is a voracious virtually self taught reader who finds difficulty making friends her own age (adults love her as she is very chatty and confident children seem thrown by her) she is incredibly clumsy and doesn't really make good eye contact.

There are diagnosed ASD children in our (very large) extended family so I should think it possible one of mine could be but no one at school has brought it up - we have discussed dyspraxia for dd1 but I am not sure whether to pursue it unless she really appears to be struggling.

It is difficult to talk to dh about this as he appears to find the subject frightening - which is probably why I am putting it al down here - sorry

(Why is that a bad idea, btw? A very low heat shouldn't melt anything, should it?).

Hi, Bigmouth. I've just read the whole of this thread, and it appears most of us are new to the idea. It's an odd feeling to be wondering now what is within the range of normal behaviour, and what actually causes problems. As you ask about your mother - what 'use' will it be to find out? For your children, the 'use' would be to prevent any unhappiness, but if they don't seem to be unhappy...

If I did that with wet jeans I would forget about them...

DF has no diagnosis, but I find it helps my interaction with him greatly to assume that he is AS, and it really does fit. All these labels are just groups of behaviours really.

(Why is that a bad idea, btw? A very low heat shouldn't melt anything, should it?).

If I did that with wet jeans I would forget about them...

It's worse than that. She remembered them! :o She remembered that they were in the oven drying. So she turned the oven off when she went out. Except nothing is ever that straight forward. I come home to the smell of burning because she'd turned the dial the wrong way and had turned it up all the way. And when asked why on earth she'd put them in the oven, she looked at me with a completely serious face and said "Because I tried to put them in the microwave but they wouldn't fit."

theunmember, do you mean being able to smell books isn't ''normal'?

TUM :o that's classic.

I'm back at work tomorrow after a 5 day break. I always feel nervous going back, I hate feeling like I've missed something.

Also does anyone else working FT find that on their days off they crash a bit? I'm still getting used to it but I think a combination of mental/emotional exhaustion and a break in routine (I've got used to getting up and jumping in the shower by 6.40 on workdays, something I'd never thought possible!) I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel guilty for not doing more with my DCs but I think I need a bit of selfish time.

Tomorrow we find out what individual tasks we've been assigned at work, I'm excited (not least because having a task allows you alone time during the day) but I've also been agonising about whether I picked the right choices on my voting form.

I finally wrote my first blog post tonight :)

theunmember, do you mean being able to smell books isn't ''normal'?

Apparantly not. I found this out from the autism diagnosis team at the hospital. I even took in some of my most smelly books for them to try so that they could see that they were wrong. They thought it was funny because they really couldn't smell anything. Apparantly we have supersonic hearing and can hear things others can't and bionic vision too.

These poor NTs, I feel sorry for them being so impaired. :o

I ain't no bionic woman .

Erm, smelly books? Well, of paper and glue and whatever food might have got stuck in the spine and mustiness, but that's about it. Another strike out for bionicness here .

Even numbers, on the other hand, are wrong. They're mundane, fixed, bland and give me slight anxiety like at the beginning of a high fever when everything starts getting unreal. Odd numbers are right; they're dynamic, full of potential, numbers with things going on in their lives, with change inherent in them .

I like the smell of books too, especially new ones. Also I like nice heavy textbooks that I can open in the middle and put my nose in to smell then close it shut on my face. I like the coldness of the pages and the squashing feeling on my cheeks. That probably makes me seem really strange though!

I got my report from the educational psychologist today. She has put in it that I should have loads of additional support at university and also wants me to see a speech and language therapist and clinical psychologist as well for more assessments.

I've always had an acute sense of hearing, and certain sounds drive me absolutely bonkers, including ticking clocks, noisy eaters, etc. And certain smells really annoy me (or make me feel really good) too. I've not got X-ray vision or anything, but I can spot levels of detail that are often missed (and my DS is like this too). Someone once described it as "living life in bold" and that is what it seems like, sometimes :). As for smelly books, so long as they don't smell of smoke, or too plasticky, then I'm OK :)

How do you feel about all that system? Relieved? Or a bit argh at more people and more tests?

I've thrown books out for being too smelly. And eating, oh god the sound of people eating literally makes the hairs on my arms stand up! I have sent dp out the room more times than I can count for eating too loud or have sat with my hands over my ears, but haven't met anyone else that reacts like this so badly. I feel really bad for dp that I act like this and try to go to another room if he's eating.

And the sound of people kissing, makes me feel sick! I turn the tele off if they kiss in it.

The smell of certain foods like peppers makes me feel ill too, the smell is just so strong, I won't keep them in my cupboards either cos I feel like it stinks up the rest of my nice smelling foods.

I am so strange about so many things, I'm so glad that ive met other people with awkward tendencies too - I don't feel so bad now :o

I have met a few people who enthuse about the smell of books, but it's not one of my things.

My tolerance for noise varies with my mood, and visually I have an eye for tiny errors. I also have the ability, visually, to not notice anything. It depends if I am off on a train of thought...

Originally I thought that she hadn't written anything that I don't already know, but now I am actually quite happy about it because at least someone has understood the problems I have. Now it is down in writing I might be able to use it to show other people who don't understand, instead of trying ( and failing) to explain it all over again. Also I hope the additional support I might now get will mean I can get better grades next year.

I'm not really happy about having to go for more assessments though, mainly because I don't know what questions are going to be asked so I can't plan properly for it in advance. Also I'm not really sure what a speech and language therapist does as I've only heard of them in relation to children before. So I'm a bit confused why I need to go and what it will achieve. I'm hoping the other kind of psychologist will do the same type of questions as the last one, so then I will be prepared and know how to answer. But also confused why I would need to do that all again.

I spoke to my student support worker this afternoon about the report. He seemed surprised that it didn't give any straight diagnosis- he asked me if it said I had dyslexia or not, because that is the reason I was referred. Anyway I am going to have a meeting with him next week to discuss it properly.

Don't worry about planning in advance - really, don't! It isn't an exam, it is an assessment. If you find it difficult for any reason, just tell them, as it is all part of the picture.

I'd be v interested to know what the speech and language therapist will do as well.

I know I don't need to but I can't stop myself from obsessing about what I will be asked and what I should say- I do this for everything even if I'm going to the shops, not just for assessment stuff.

I really can't work out what the speech and language things is. i have googled it but the only stuff about adults is for people that have strokes or throat/mouth injuries.

If I type out the bit of the report here that suggests it maybe someone else might be able to work out why I need this maybe?

I completely understand why you are worried about not knowing the questions but I think it's a good thing - it will give a much more accurate picture of your difficulties.

I don't often notice the smell of books, but some books I just can't stand to touch. Some textbooks in particular have slightly glossy paper and it feels awful. It is the same feeling I get if I empty a dishwasher and the glass feels too dry, it sets my teeth on edge and I need hand cream urgently!

Today has been long and tiring, I feel foggy in my head and I lost my security pass - I'm actually quite glad that DH is watching the football on telly as it means I can be near him, but can just do my own thing. I explained to DH recently that I'll need to have me time and that I feel guilty about it because I hardly see him and the DCs as it is, but he understands that it's that or meltdown.

I also have awesome news. I found out today that I'm going to be the new assistant in our Reference library! I am so happy :o