Support thread - adults on the Autistic Spectrum :)

[fuzzpig]

Hello!

I've seen a lot of MNers mention being on the Spectrum, whether diagnosed or not. I thought we could use a long-running place to chat, share coping strategies and basically to know there are other people like ourselves, who won't judge us for being different.

I'm new to all this myself - only realised there was a possible name for How I Am a couple of weeks ago (thanks to MN)! Now I have a referral to an adult ASD specialist, to see if I have Aspergers. It's all happened very quickly.

Enough waffle from me (for now anyway...) but I hope other people will come along and find this thread useful. :)

This is the bit I read a while ago, I remember that a supposed difference is language development, although I didn't pay much attention TBH as I am confident that I am an Aspie rather than anywhere else on the spectrum.

That OU course on autism looks really interesting, I have no points left for level one though :( after the children's literature course I'll have 60 level three points left to complete.

Hang on do you mean Aspergers won't be in the next dsm?!

No it won't. There's going to be 1 diagnosis only, Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Within this the plan is some sort of grading of severity, but it hasn't been decided yet because nobody can agree on how this should be done. As every case is different, how do you say that what you experience is more severe or milder than what I experience? It's too subjective.

I say 'no it won't', it would be more accurate to say 'it's highly unlikely'

Can't sew for toffee - have no fine motor skills - and hopeless at working off visual instructions, I need words, or to be shown in person. And I can't do it just by watching someone, need to do it myself, being talked through in detail. Hence I like knitting, as once you have learnt to cast on and knit or purl a stitch, it's all just variations of this. Apart from the ones with different coloured wool like fair isle - can't do that at all!

My knitting is slow, I have to look at it while I'm doing it, but my tension is good...

I was told the difference between HFA and AS is that if you have HFA you had a speech delay as a child, with AS there is no speech delay. This is what the paedriatrician told me when she explained DS's diagnosis. So she believed there was a diagnosis of HFA. All very confusing.

Actually I prefer to use the term ASC rather than ASD (with the C standing for condition)

Indeed, you can't really say Aspergers (or the higher functioning end of the spectrum or whatever) is not a severe disability when it can cost lives.

I am possibly biased though since this is so new to me and very raw.

I see the thread has moved on a bit. I think there are differences in preferred modality - some of you here seem very visual, where as I am strongest in language and diagrams. We all seem to be strong on logic.

I have no problem in distinguishing emotions, and feeling nuances of emotion as well. DF, however, seems to have a big undifferentiated chaos of emotion in him, which boils over occasionally.

Don't worry about the thread 'moving on' TPP, the whole point is just to chat about whatever you need to :)

I am not really sure how to describe my learning style. Kinaesthetic I guess as certainly with things like cooking, maths and my job I really need to do something before I 'get' it. I have a good memory for some things, like remembering strings of numbers which astounds colleagues a bit and as I said I pick up stuff like languages really fast. I guess I can remember stuff visually (and to some extent after hearing it) but not necessarily understand it. But the way education works these days seems to be that you don't actually need to understand! You just need to remember stuff. Processes for maths, key terms for science etc. Maybe that's the only reason I did well in school. If you know what the examiner wants you can churn it out without really knowing what it is.

Earlier someone mentioned eating/food, just thought I'd mention that w now have a 2-week meal plan. It was mostly to save us money/avoid waste but it has really helped already as now if I am cooking I don't have to think about it too much. However I get bored with food easily so I'm keeping my work lunches flexible, I get some variation that way.

I like thinking about food :o

So do I. I have a good palate, despite now being a smoker. I can imagine tastes together with a hight degree of accuracy. I put this down in part to my Aspergers way of eating in childhood, all the greeens, then all the potatoes, then all the meat (don't know how long this lasted, and order of food eating may have varied - main thing is, I ate one thing at a time till it was all gone!)

I eat all parts of a meal separately too. I also don't like the different things to touch on my plate, although I can handle it now if it does happen, like if the sauce from beans touches chips. When I was a child though I used to have a massive tantrum about it and refuse to eat. My mum still puts food separate for me now or lets me put the food on myself.

I think that is the reason why I started not eating certain foods, not because I didn't like them but just because it was easier to only eat foods that didn't easily mix. It got worse the first time I had to move house and school though. After that I only ate baked potato (plain) and tomato soup for months. The second time it was pizza which was a bit better as it is a mixed food, but it had to be only one particular brand and only cheese and tomato flavour.

It is better now I'm an adult and have a choice over what I eat but I still mostly only eat one thing at a time and the same thing all the time. e.g for the last 2 weeks I have only eaten cheese and corned beef (alternating, not together) except when someone else cooks food for me.

My ASD husband deconstructs his dinner into component parts before eating them in order of preference, least favourite to favourite. I make stews with the bits chopped up small to torment him :o

I had largely grown out of this by my mid-teens. But as I say, I think it has stood me in good stead since then, I know what stuff will taste like from menus and master chef - and my own cooking. Nothing too complicated - apart from anything, it doesn't work to have too many flavours, taste wise.

I have a thing about baked bean sauce not touching anything else either (except beans on toast that is fine). Recently i've started putting them in a bowl to have alongside my food - well if it works for a side salad..., and it works really well. Fried eggs i'm really careful not to spill the egg onto anything except bacon or bread, don't like mushrooms mixing with it. If I have steak, I don't like the meat juices contaminating the potatoes either.

My (probably ASD) partner mixes his food together, until it looks like baby food! I'm not too fussy with food, although I hate meat fat. I have to cut every last piece off before I can eat the meat. I don't like steak juices running over the plate either.

So happy news today, just come back from hospital and DS has got his ASD diagnosis (I was worried it was going to be a long drawn out process). Now I feel we can move forward in getting him the appropriate help.

Eggs with baked beans are urgh! to me - so eggs, chips and beans are out, unless I keep it separated with the chips, and treat it as two meals in one!

Good news about DS, devil

My husband makes me laugh when we go out for dinner. He spends ages and ages umming and ahhhing over the menu and deciding what he wants. And every bloomin time he orders exactly the same thing.

"... and how would you like your steak?"
" hmm ... hmm"
"YOU WANT IT FLIPPIN MEDIUM RARE. YOU ALWAYS WANT IT MEDIUM RARE. ARRRRRRGH!" :o

Mine (now ex, think he has traits), always has the poached salmon or the nearest equivalent. At least he doesn't have to decide how it's cooked!

I'm the opposite to most of you! I like bean sauce to make my chips soggy, same with gravy.

I'm not too fussy with food generally although unpredictability does put me off sometimes, so if DH puts some unexpected ingredient in a bolognese or something I get a bit worried.

Today has been an earworm day. Grrrrr.

Devil I'm really pleased your DS has his dx, fingers crossed the support will be given speedily too. :) Is he aware of the dx?

Aww I get earworms, specially if I'm stressed or down. Usually there's a lyric in there trying to get a message to me...

What is an earworm? I am really hoping it is not a real type of worm that lives in ears.

No it's not a literal worm thankfully! :o

An earworm is a little tune or jingle that gets stuck in your head and annoys you. I guess any tune could become one really, I had several different ones today and they were strong. Normally they aren't too bad but maybe today I was more susceptible for some reason?

In my young day it was called 'getting a song (or tune) on the brain.' When I told my psychiatrist about it, he looked at me as if I was mad!!! But he was a crap psychiatrist anyway...