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Original poster

Hi friends me again

35 replies

NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 20:47

It's been three months since I was last here. It's been a tough few months so getting to my computer has not been easy. But I really appreciated the support I got back in October so am back again.

Basically at the moment I am feeling downright fed up, overtired, lonely and worried. Again, I don't think I'm depressed, but I have had a lot to deal with lately. The reason I am posting now though is that I wish I knew how to tell people I feel like this - I mean people in the real world? It is so hard to ring up your friends who are used to hearing you as your bubbly self and say, God I feel c**p right now and definitely NOT strong!

Can anyone offer any tips??

I am also interested in any advice about PMT (I know this is the wrong place really to be asking) but I think I certainly feel less strong at certain times of the month eg the last two weeks before my period. Thanks

OP posts:
Donbean · 10/01/2006 20:50

Oh God you sound like me in October.
I had to face it...i definitely was depressed.
How can you be certain that you are not depressed?

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 20:56

I can't really, but I just don't feel depressed. The best word I can think to describe how I feel is overwhelmed. Does that make sense?

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notasheep · 10/01/2006 20:57

Can you tell your friends exactly how you feel?

My PMT has been v.serious.
My suggestions would be; a support group,exercise,eat little and often,rest,hot baths,talk.
I refused to take Prozac though

notasheep · 10/01/2006 20:58

Sounds like you need a holiday-can you get away for a weekend to clear your head?

picnikel · 10/01/2006 20:59

I've always had PMS but it's been much worse after having dd - I started taking a herbal supplement called agnus castus and it's brilliant, has made a huge diference. Can definitely recommend it.

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:00

I don't really see my friends much. When I do or we talk on the phone there always seems to be other stuff to talk about.

I have thought for a long time about a support group (the problme would be for which problem!) but it's a time thing - and embarassment, if I'm being honest.

OP posts:
Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:03

Niether did i but then how do you describe the feeling of bieng depressed? Its very individual and can be mild moderate or serious.
I have no experience of it personally but i just knew that i wasnt myself and it was affecting my daily life in a way that i didnt like.
Went to the Drs after 2 years of this and he suggested low dose AD's.
I was very resistant and dead against it and just wanted to "pull myself together"
I have a very very big circle of very close and dear friends and i felt unable to talk to any of them about how i was feeling.
When eventually i went to the Drs many of them said that they were very aware that i was depressed but didnt want to say any thing. I truly didnt believe that i was acting any differently in front of people, in fact i was sure that i was covering up well.
Any way, 7 weeks into a course of low dose AD's i am feeling much better and able to see my way. Not drastically but enough to bring "me" back into the equasion.

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:03

Very interested in that herbal supplement. Thanks. I'll definitely check that out.

I've got a girl friend coming round tomorrow evening - if she doesn't blow me out. I'm really looking forward to seeing her to catch up on news etc. But I'd also like to tell her how I'm feeling - but don't want to ruin our evening either!

OP posts:
serenity · 10/01/2006 21:06

I wouldn't be so sure that it isn't drepression, as a good friend said to me, it isn't sitting in a corner with a knife to your wrists.

I've been feeling pretty much the same as you for a few months now - constant PMT would be a good description. I haven't really spoken to anyone about, I just felt that I was being a bit of a wuss. However, after finding myself in tears at work for no reason I decided to go to see the GP. TBH I wanted to go back on the pill, so I really wanted to check that it wasn't anything hormonal that the pill would make worse. The GP immediately diagnosed me as suffering from depression, and is arranging for me to have councilling (sp?)
It sounds really stupid, but being told that there is a reason for me feeling this way has actually helped. I can look at how I'm feeling and try and take a step back from it and work out whether it's 'real' or not. It helps me keep my mood swings under control, I'm nicer to the kids and DH so it's one less weight on my back (that probably makes no sense at all!)

You'd be surprised how many of your friends have noticed something wrong, and the good ones will be the ones that help you through it.

Anyway sorry for butting in, I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you (didn't read your previous thread, sorry) I hope someone can come up with some good strategies for you.

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:08

Donbean - I can empathise with a lot of what you said. I've not got a big circle of friends, and have an even smaller family, but there seems to be a stigma in my family especially about depression. I wonder if this is making me talk myself into believing I am not - if that makes sense? However, I genuinely feel that I'm not. I do feel though that I need a break from everything - which is impossible.

OP posts:
notasheep · 10/01/2006 21:08

You seem very concerned about what other people think-feeling embarassed,worried about what your girlfriend may think.

Sorry that sounds harsh.
Sounds like you really need to talk

Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:13

Yes, me too.
Not least my own attitude towards the illness and AD's. I was (and still am) embarassed about he fact that i am needing pills to support me.
I am not a fragile personality, im as tough as nails normally but i have definitely lost my edge and my spark. This is how ive been for 33 of my 35 years of life so a very very hard pill to swallow.
Im on them for 12 months. This is an agreement between me and my GP, i can see an end to it.
Its like Dorothy in the wizard of oz, stepping out of the black and white...into the colour!
Do you see what i am getting at? That is how i can compare me in October to me now in January.

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:13

that's not harsh notasheep. but I do worry what other people think. As my name suggests, everyone thinks I'm the strong one, but I disagree. I'm the one people come to for advice and help. I'm the one who stays strong publically. The commnets on my last posting (in October) were that I probably was strong - even if I didn't bellive it.

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Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:18

So, what should I say to my friend tomorrow?

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Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:19

My front door is never locked.
People just walk in, no one ever knocks. We have friends coming and going most days. They just drop in for a cuppa and a natter. I get all of thier problems, im a good listner so im told.
Its not my place to burden them with my troubles...if i had any! Thats just it, i have nothing and i mean nothing to be depressed about. I have a lovely life and yet i still felt low. " weeks leading up to my period, one week of misery when i was on and one week of feeling like shit for feeling like shit for 3 weeks out of a month!
Good grief, what a wreck.
TWO years i plodded on. Two years of my babies life i felt like crap.
Now i can adore the little demon and be a fun mum!
Im still an old bag at times but a nicer old bag!!!

notasheep · 10/01/2006 21:20

Talking,totally honest will be the best thing you could do surely.

I have been drowning in PMT and PND and my recovery was from being truthful to myself.

I am sorry,but if your friend cant handle you having a good moan then.......

Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:21

I would just say to her that you are struggling with stuff and are going through a hard time. I dont think that you will need to say much more than that because by then you will be in floods of tears and appologising profusely for bieng like this in front of her!!!

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:27

I've never cried in front of anyone before - except for a major slanging match between DH and I about 10 years ago!

OP posts:
Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:29

See! Hard as nails just like me!!!
Ok, well then just ram a huge chocolate muffin into you mouth and tell her that you are not feeling yourself!
Well, feeling LIKE yourself IYSWIM!

Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:30

The thing is, if I AM depressed I probably have good reason to be - please don't think I'm being self pitying. My good friends know about most issues in my life, so wouldn't be surpirsed. But I still don't feel it though.

One friend did say to me before Christmas, be careful or you'll make yourself ill. I didn't know what to make of that so ignored it and she hasn't said anything since.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:31

hard as nails, stubborn, control freak - yep all me!

OP posts:
Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:31

hard as nails, stubborn, control freak - yep all me!

OP posts:
Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:32

hard as nails, stubborn, control freak - yep all me!

OP posts:
Original poster
NotaStrongWoman · 10/01/2006 21:32

what happened there?! sorry!

OP posts:
Donbean · 10/01/2006 21:33

LOL!
I think that your friend is very perceptive in making that comment to you.

So what do you think then?
How do you think that you can help yourself out of this sticky patch?