Calling all sufferers of depression and anxiety who have "blips"

[NanaNina]

I have still not made a complete recovery from a severe episode of depression last year. I have approx 80% og good days and 20% of bad days, that can vary in their intensity. It makes planning my life difficult as I never know when the bad days are coming, nor how long they will last. There are no triggers that I can identify for these blips.

I am seeing a psychologist on the NHS and she is very nice and very credible. We were discussing my bad days today (that she seems to think are like ordinary bad days that everyone has from time to time, but they aren't like that at all) and I told her I often cried for 20 mins or so on my DPs shoulder and this sometimes helped. She asked me what I was crying about and of course I couldn't say. I am convinced it is a symptom of depression and has always been my major sympton when severely depressed. I said this to her but I could see she wasn't really buying into it.

I am SO frustrated at the MH professionals who do not seem to understand that there is no reason for crying, no reason for feeling afraid, fear of fear. The only people who seem to understand this are the people who suffer like this.

Are any of you about?

funny ha ha or funny peculiar?

Most definately peculiar

i can never decide what i hate most.the anxiety element or the depression.when you dealing with one the other seems such a better option...til they switch again.i wonder if other species have mental health problems

Or Mama Fox looking outside her den and thinking, naah we can survive on old poo for another day, then hating herself for her terrible mothering skills, going out to kill a few chickens and having a panic attack in the middle of the coop.......

On the whole the depression is worse for me as I can usually medicate the anxiety as long as I am stable enough to drive to the doctors and even when I'm unstable I can do that, albeit sobbing and vomiting in the waiting room

Thank god I left my dignity at the door during childbirth

Thanks KatieScarlettsCrackers:)

Probably need to do more cleaning. It doesn't come naturally:)

Naah orange

We need to do more kind things for ourselves, cleaning is not kind.

I'm off to make a huge hot choc which I will sip while watching old episodes of the Tudors ignores mess

So pleased to see so many posters - not that I am wishing the torment of mental illness on others, but you all know what I mean I'm sure.

Katie I was pleased to hear you say that pushing through a blip was no good and that accepting it was the way to go....that sounds far better for me. I had a lovely CPN but she was all for "fighting" it off etc. Then I read a book, talking about the climb to recovery and said you might stumble on a rock or eve go off the path, but they you remember a little cave you saw, so there you take refuge. My bed is my refuge and on really bad days like todayI stay there till 12 or 1. Then I tell myself I can go back at 4 if I want to but at least i am showered etc and then can lie under my lovely warm soft blanket, so it isn't like I'm really in bed.

I feel so much for young mums who have children to care for - on bad days I don't feel I can cope with the cats.

Livinginazoo glad you found the thread. I think blips/setbacks/wonky days are the nature of the beast with depression and anxiety. I know what you mean about which is worse the anxiety or depression. For me too the depression is worse. The anxiety at least I can do my deep breathing and it seems to help, though I know a bit of air is good for depression, so forced myself round park this afternoon.

I've had brief counseling sessions with several counselers and find they are very variable in their ability to understand what you're saying and to show empathy.
For example one seemed really quite shocked that my children weren't at that time brushing their teeth regularly. I think if you're going to be shocked by that, and show it, then being a counseler probably isn't your calling !

I've had a bit of a rubbish week myself since the children broke up for the hols, but I'm feeling better this evening. Think we'll go and do something tomorrow - were waiting in today which makes for a long day - but then fortunately parcel did arrive ! TOTPs from the 70s is cheering me in the background ATM

sorry.i was in abit of an exhausted pickle last night and nervous exhaustion hit me and i nodded off mid chocolate binge watching t.v!!!!!bit flat today.meant be taking kids to se santa at a place 20mins away in dp car.aparently its fab and has live reindeer so the kidsl love it but i really dont feel im going to cope it very well today.have to go shopping first and the thought of a supermarket trip at this time of year fills me with dread.wouldnt it be great if santa could give us a some peace of mind and the ability to be positive no matter what and calm?

Thanks live in a zoo Is the shopping trip essential ? Could you down-scale it or go at another time ?
The trip to see Santa and the reindeer with the kids sounds like it could be more fun - maybe just make the effort to get out of the house and do that ?
Hope you have a good day and the kids enjoy seeing Santa !
Mine have loved it other years when we've been to a local farm centre - and I really liked it too

Well.

I have braved the shops, been to work and am now home waiting for the teen onslaught. DD is off to a ball tonight and all her friend are coming here to get dressed,more are coming later so they can all arrive together.Had a stressy sleepless night last night so am amazed that I'm stil up and running and looking forward to seeing them all dressed up.

Today has been a good day

Hi living

Shops are my worst nightmare too. Have lost count of the times I have had to abandon my trolley and run to sit sobbing in the car park.... Someone standing too close behind me at a checkout can literally make me physically sick.

Not today though, yay!

The main problem I find with shopping is afterwards trying to find my car in the car-park. I often forget where it is (even though I try to park in similar place now) I can get a bit dazed and confused in the shop itself too. I think I may have attention deficit tendencies ... when I'm a bit older people will start to think I'm losing my memory and I'll have to see if they believe me when I say I've always been like this You have to laugh or you'll cry !

Anyway we've been on our Santa visiting trip and t'was a lovely afternoon.
Glad yours has been a good one too Scarletts

If it's dark when I come out of the cinema/shops/supermarket/anywhere, I just walk about clicking my open door button over and over until a car flashes back at me. Sometimes this can go on for a while. I simply can't remember where I left it either

At least there are two of us, haha.

I've thought about doing that Scarletts and might give it a try - good tip !

I'm just as bad in broad daylight though

Very yuk day for me here - cried loads this morning and am now washed out - think crying makes me tired. Am mega anxious as going to Ireland tomorrow to see son dil and gr/chdrb
Am dying to see the kids but my anxiety is sky high. I have a complete phobia about my sons and gr/chrn seeing me in a state. Oh god I think I've said all this before. I am amazed how some of you get to work and supremarkets (even if it does cost you) you must be braver than me.

I once had such a major panic about not finding care and ended up sobbing in the car park, I now make extra sure I know where it is (look for landmakrks) and count how many rows back from a certain place IFYSWIM mind this is fairly minor when feeling totally crap, as if I am out shopping (which I often am) then I am ok and don't panic if can't find car.

Oh what a sodding illness this is.....hope everyone gets a good Christmas - I am hoping I will feel better once I am there, but we have to start early in morning and mornings are always my worse time. Sorry just feels like I'm winging now.

Sorry to hear you are having a bad one NanaNina

Thanks Katie - I know it will pass. I just wish it wasn't christmas!

i survived!!!!!!!!!!!kids loved santa,was reindeer to pet,horses,cats,bunnys etc was FABAROONIE!!!!!!!!!sooooo glad i did it.glad today is good katie.big hugs to nana nina.hope the trip goes well.will you be in touch us while you away?juggling i could loose my head if it was less firmly attached!kids just havig tea.be back later when its all quiet on the western front.x

Brilliant, wish mine were young enough to pet the animals.

They are currently partying upstairs at DD's pre-party-party

Glad your day was fab

Hi liveinazoo - so glad you and the kids had a fab time. Won't be able to access MN when I am away but Happy Christmas to everyone and I will be back on 27th with good news i hope!

I hope you have a good time, and the journey goes smoothly. Happy Christmas to you too.

Hi NanaNina - Hope all goes well tomorrow and you have a great time in Ireland with the family. If you need any of your family to help you at any stage you should talk to them and let them you know ! All the best for the journey x

i ended up doing a mad present wrap til midnight so couldnt come back to play!if you havent let yet ninanana good luck with the trip.not bin a good start to the day.haad the worst panic attack in a quite a few years and completely went to pieces....thathl teach me to have a good day yesterday.still hasnt completely gone 90minutes later.dp doing the xmas food shop and the kids are having to amuse themselves with toys and tv as i no use to anyone at the moment.hope to pop back later on today and chat one of you if can maintain semi sanity