where do i begin? I am feeling very low. my self esteem has hit the floor since having dd as i have put on several stones due to comfort eating and on top of that i have an underactive thyroid which slows my metabolism down. This also leaves me feeling very tired and achy all the time.
Ever since i had dd i have always had this feeling at the back of my head that i'd made a mistake in having a baby (she was planned). My life (like everyones) has turned upside down. I don't ever blame my dd for this and i do love her with all my heart. I feel that this is my own fault and now i have to live with it.
will these feelings ever go away as things get easier - she is 9 months old.
i find i can't cope when she whines for something or just isn't in a good mood. Only last night i had read that you shouldn't react to this behaviour but then at lunch time today she refused to eat her food and moaned the whole time - even with fruit which she loves. i think i over reacted and didn't respond to her sweet cooings and babbles as she played happily in her high chair afterwards and i tidied up.
The scariest thing that is bothering me is the idea of giving this all up. I could never walk away from my dh (who is a wonderful,helpful and loving dh) and i wouldn't do that to my dd either. i couldn't live with myself for ever walking out on them and i couldn't leave them any other way. My mum has tried to od 3 times and i am still so angry with her for doing this that i know i couldn't put my dd through what i been through. But what if i get so low and feel so desperate that i even think of this? i can understand why my mum did it and only now know how low someone must feel to do it but i am cross that she actually would do that try and leave us.
Someone please help. i want this all to end and feel normal and happy again.