Can i just take a minute to stand up for all the wishy-washy mmkay type counselling? I'll be totally upfront and say, I am one of them so of course I have a vested interest in convincing people of the benefits of "non-directive" counselling but I do it because i genuinely believe in it. And here's why. Because the truth is, I don't know why you don't want to let yoursel fbe happy or why you fight with yourself. But somewhere, deep down, you do know. My job is to help you figure that out, to help you recognise the stuff that's hard to admit, even to yourself, without censorship or judgement. It is not my job to give you the answers. Personally, although I think CBT can be very good for certain types of problems (mainly anxiety, phobias etc), I think that for the type of things you're describing, an approach that truly trusts you, the client, is more empowering in the long run.
Having said all that, if CBT works for you then by all means do it. Most research shows that at the end of the day, the individual therapist and the relationship between the therapist and the clients makes a hell of a lot more difference than the theoretical approach.
You can find trained, qualified counsellors - from all different approaches - here, just click on Find A Therapist:
www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk
I'm sure you will find a way through this. x