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Mental health

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Original poster

If I commit suicide?

62 replies

manicmummyonadietcokebreak · 06/06/2011 18:07

If/when I die, I don't think ex will look after them as well as I would like, so can I make it so legally my mother could? And if I leave this in a letter, will the courts take it into consideration? Or as I'm depressed will they say I was mentally unstable?

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 06/06/2011 21:27

Please phone the Samaritans and talk to someone. A friend of mine very recently commited suicide believing she had no in her life she could turn to and she had nothing to live for. I cannot tell you how wrong she was

Please get help. Trust me when I tell you there are people who love you and need you and things will get better.

Marne · 06/06/2011 21:28

You might be able to talk to gp over the phone or get HV to do it for you, they may be able to pescribe you something else over the phone, is there anyone that can go and pick up some tablets for you? Well done for coming on here and asking for help, you can and will get through this xx

Swerving · 06/06/2011 21:30

I read on a recent thread here on MN that suicide does not stop the hurt it only passes it on - to your own children - for them to carry the burden. Well, it struck a cord with me and made me realise that it is so true. I thought I was being logical in thinking through the pros and cons of doing it but now I realise that it would affect them forever so I must find strenght from within me to keep going. There is no greater power or love than that between a mother and her children. You are their world, they do not judge you, they love you, they trust you.

Give yourself time to adjust too - your hormone levels are still settling after giving birth. Dont try and do too much stuff that could be left till another time. I hope you get the help you need and send my hearfelt good wishes to you along with a good long hug.

blabalalalablabla · 06/06/2011 21:30

do you have homestart near you? they might be able to help?

stay strong. speaking from experience suicide is never the answer.

Marne · 06/06/2011 21:32

Well said Swerving, it deffently doesn't stop the hurt.

stripeywoollenhat · 06/06/2011 21:35

it's good that you are going to talk to the hv - do you think you would be able to tell her (or him) that you aren't able to face going out to the gp?

do you think it would help you at all to talk to the samaritans? perhaps they will be able to give you a helpful perspective on asking for some help tomorrow?

and would it be possible for your mum or a friend to come and stay with you for a few days? it might help to have some support for you with the children while you are trying to find a way through this

CrapolaDeVille · 06/06/2011 21:38

Can I ask you where you are? I have a spare room and you can come and stay here for a few days, I can pay for you to get here too.

CrapolaDeVille · 06/06/2011 21:39

(I have a huge car and could come and see/collect you) Sounds like you need psychotherapy or something better than counselling.

dearprudence · 06/06/2011 21:44

Do you have a transport problem or can you not face the doctor?

Could you print out this thread and show it to your HV or doctor?

I'm so sorry things have got this bad, and I hope you can get the help you need. x

Marne · 06/06/2011 21:47

I'm sure there are mumsnetters who are willing to help, lend an ear or pop over for a chat (including me if you live near by). Good luck with the HV tomorrow xxx

monkeyfacegrace · 06/06/2011 21:54

Oh sweetheart, I echo CDV. I also have a huge car and space for 3 little pickles and their mummy too. Where are you love?

Concordia · 06/06/2011 21:58

Op, please ring the doctors tomorrow and ask to speak to the doctor and tell him / her what you've told us. explain that you can't get out of the house.
Don't wait for HV to pass messages on. i think it's important that you speak to a doctor soon.
They won't make you come out if you can't. if the GP you speak doesn't help ask for another. don't worry what they think. If the receptionist won't tell a gp to call you (they'll probably phone you back anyway) then tell him/her what the problem is.
It sounds like things have got very bad but they won't always be this bad, honestly.
if you want to talk to anyone tonight stay on here or (better still) ring the samaritans or do their online stuff.
BTW i don't think a letter would cut it tbh. you need to see a solicitor and get a will sorted - they may be able to do home visits, don't know.
I appreciate that this medication you are on isn't working but it sometimes takes time to get the right medication for things. They might need to change it. i suspect that your problems can be (at least in part) helped by medication when they get it right.
And as others have said, you are obviously the best person to care for your DC in the long term. Look after yourself..

SpeedyGonzalez · 06/06/2011 22:55

manicmummy you've just had a baby and are in a really, really, really stressful situation. Bloody hell, no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed and tearful and depressed all the time. And if you have PND that is a chemical, hormonal problem which will CAN BE FIXED. Right now you are chemically unable to think rationally and clearly, but that's the illness that's doing that to you!

The drugs your GP can prescribe WILL change everything about the way you feel right now. Also if you tell your GP/ receptionist that you really are not coping and can't go to the surgery, they will go to you. Someone will go to see you, you don't have to face this alone.

If you feel crap because you're not coping, DON'T. You have 3 kids, including a newborn, and you're handling this on your own in a new town where you don't know anyone and your partner has just left. What are you doing for money - do you have much income? Who on EARTH could 'cope' with that lot on their plate?

shodatin · 06/06/2011 23:33

Just to say I agree with previous poster (and others) that this is temporarily a very difficult time for you, hormones awry and without partner or usual back-up of family and friends nearby, plus three children! It will get better, and GP or someone from Crisis Team will visit you at home and ensure you get help, as well as medication.

You've done so well so far, just hold on a bit longer until you get help, and life will be worthwhile again. Hope you can have a decent sleep tonight.

bbbbob · 06/06/2011 23:57

"I read on a recent thread here on MN that suicide does not stop the hurt it only passes it on - to your own children - for them to carry the burden."
That is too true Swerving
My mum committed suicide when I was 16. It is like a ton of weight on my heart. You never truly get over it.
manicmummy you are going through a shit time - but please don't make the choice to leave your children. The legacy really is unimaginable.
Where are you? If I can help in any way then I will.

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 07:36

OP ARe you okay this morning, do you need an advocate to call the doctor?

SybilBeddows · 07/06/2011 08:54

hope you're ok this morning xxx

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 12:45

OP, if you're around can you let us know?

Original poster

manicmummyonadietcokebreak · 07/06/2011 17:01

Hi, thanks everyone, didn't call anyone, but my mum picked up in a phone call that I'm not doing very well and is visiting for a few days, which is great, worry about when she leaves. I had someone visit from a crisis team a few weeks ago she said that I'm not bad enough as I havnt planned how I'm going to do it. I think the idea of showing someone this thread is a great one as I'm finding it hard to speak full stop with this stutter and am never one to tell anyone how I feel anyway. I've had depression from the age of 14, so it may come back at anytime, and is it fair for them to live with a mum that is all over the place mentally?
Thanks to those that have lost someone close, that has struck a cord, don't want them to go through that, but at the same time, I don't want to be here. Maybe I shouldn't have been aloud children in the 1st place, I was being selfish wanting them, not thinking what living with someone like me would do to them. I love them so much, they deserve a better mother than me, one that can take them out, even just to a park, but it took me an hour and 3 atemps to get to the corner shop to buy the sweetsvthe other day, and you can see the look on the older twos faces, just confution and fear! And the baby screams as soon as I put her in the pram or sling, as she knows how I feel to, and she screams the whole time were out, which makes me more stressed and scared. I've just made such a mess out of mine and there lives.

OP posts:

onclefestere · 07/06/2011 17:09

It's good that your Mum is coming. Ignore what the crisis teamm person said and do call the Samaritans manicmummy. Give them a ring, they are always there.

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 17:28

We're all selfish having children if you want to really examine it! I have five of them and I didn't do for them....I did it for me.

Does your baby scream all of the time? Have you thought that maybe it's not your fault and she may have reflux?

Can I recommend not telling your children what you may or may not do for them, it may save you feeling like you've let them down.

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 17:29

Baby steps...OP...

I'm really pleased you replied, it made my dayxxxx

Marne · 07/06/2011 17:35

Glad your mum is staying for a few days, maybe she could phone the gp for you or go and see them on your behalf? Dh has been on and off medication for years (sinse his mum took her own life), his sister is more severe and has a eating disorder, she has 2 lovely children who love their mum to bits, she doesn't go out very often (through fear and the fact she has got so ill with the eating disorder), i often feel sorry for her children but the handle everything really well and could not be without their mum. You may be in a bad place right now but things will get better with the right help and the correct medication, Dh has been off of anti depressants for almost 2 years (appart from a small blip when we moved house). You can do this xxxxx

lovecorrie · 07/06/2011 17:42

Crapola - what a fantastic and lovely person you sound. I have had many times in my life when I have wanted to commit suicide. I put something similar to the op on another forum once, took a ton of pills and drink and passed out. When I awoke, I found out that the ladies on that forum had spent the night trying to get in touch with me and get help. It's amazing how people you don't 'know' can really care. PND, depression, just being a 'mummy', whatever it is can be hell. I know now that I had everything to live for, including my wonderful children. They would have been destroyed had I 'done it'. OP, you've reached the bottom and things will improve, I promise

CrapolaDeVille · 07/06/2011 17:54

lovecorrie.....Wow that's a first for me!! thanksx

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