Stupid, pathetic thread but that's me.

[FourFortyFour]

I am scared of never being well and I am scared to be normal.

Sat feeling stupid as I cry.

If it's only been 5m I would go with the medical sec. option

It sounds like maybe an out-pt appt with the psychiatrist would be a good idea to discuss therapy options - such as whether it would be better to start afresh with someone new or pick up again with the last counsellor

I can't go back to the last counsellor, not my choice.

I know this is going to sound so stupid but I have just confessed something to my husband about how I have been feeling and said I needed someone to do something for me. He immediately said he would do it and that has taken such a load of my shoulders.

I know I need help but even this has been a huge step forward for me.

Well that's good but I doubt it will 'fix' things for you in the long-term (sorry if that sounds harsh - it's not meant to, just that it sounds like you need to invest long-term in keeping yourself well and healthy )

Oh I am sure it won't but at least now I have a plan for if it happens again until I can sort the counselling. I am still unsure if the hypno-analysis is for me.

I will be blunt (with my mental health professional hat on)

I think it unwise to pluck a 'therapist' from the Yellow Pages (or whatever) yourself without sound recommendation from someone who knows what they're talking about

WTF is hypno-analysis anyway?!

From your posts it's clear that your issues and needs are of a long-standing nature (you've mentioned your childhood, relationship with Mother, how you were parented etc)

Why not seek the advice of someone who - with this information and history on board - can support you in finding a legitimate and well-suited therapist? (i.e your psychiatrist)

I saw your I'll be blunt in threads I am on and was scared .

I picked this person by googling counselling in the area I live and purely by reading their blog. Hypnosis interests so that is why I went with her. I am now thinking I don't want to see her for various reasons. I just don't know where to go from here as I don't want to go via my GP.

Would you be able to help me please?

Hi FourFortyFour.

Well done for getting through today .

I don't like the sound of the not-medically-trained hypno-analyst, but I do like the sound of notnowbernard's advice.

x

Thank you, .

It worries me a bit, should she be medically trained? She has lots of letters after her name.

Also, can anyone help with wording the email to say I don't want to go back please?

Hmm, like notnowbernard (who clearly knows a lot more about these things than I do), I'm also not sure what a hypno-analyst is! It would be interesting to know whether hypno-analyst is a protected title, i.e. do you have to undergo specific training and assessment in order to be able to legally call yourself a hypno-analyst? Or could anyone call themself one?

Here's my email suggestion:

Dear not-medically-trained hypno-analyst,

After our initial meeting on Wednesday 30 March 2011, I have decided that I would not like to undergo hypno-analysis.

Best wishes,

FourFortyFour

I'm going to bed now, I hope you sleep well .

x

Hi

Another night where I didn't sleep much due to constant coughing and I was sick this morning. Have emailed and said I don't want to start formal therapy at the moment. Just had a letter in the post which wasn't great news and I am finding it hard to breathe due to the panic attack. I am going to rest for a bit now.

Good that you sent the e-mail

If I were you I would now contact your psychiatrist's secretary to request an out-patient appt to then specifically discuss therapy referral

Or ask for the contact number of your Community Mental Health Team - someone there should be able to give you details of reputable therapists in your area

HTH and that the day picks up a bit for you

I haven't got a psychiatrist or a CMHT. Right now my priority is getting my DD well as I am okay at the moment mentally. I am knackered through no sleep but I feel okay in my head. I am going to deal with this though.

You will have a psychiatrist if you've been under the care of one in the past

And they will naturally have kept medical records (they do this for anyone seen by psych services)

Your address determines what CMHT you're under. For example, I am not under the care of a CMHT but should I need to make an enquiry or ask for guidance about a MH issue, my GP/NHS Direct could give me their number

Good luck with what you decide to do

I am a bit confused as to what I do as I was told I could only have 12 months of counselling.

I was presuming you would pay for it privately (like you would have done for the hypnotherapist person)

GPs/medics/psychiatrists can all refer to the private sector if the person is prepared to pay, or has medical insurance or somesuch

Just because you've used your NHS quota shouldn't mean you can't be supported in finding a therapist to pay privately - if that's what you want to do of course

Oh I see. I need to google I think.

Not sure google will help much - as said before a recommendation or signpost is what you need.

Also, if you feel relatively well at the moment this is a good time to tackle things - it's hard to do deep counselling stuff when you feel very poorly.

Physically I am not feeling great as haven't slept all week. I am exhausted. TBH I feel like one thing at a time and I do feel like I have made progress with something since yesterday morning.

'I do feel like I have made progress with something since yesterday morning'

erm yes, with respect that's the kind of thing I used to say to myself to talk my way out of getting the help I needed x

Not at all though I know what you mean. I was able to talk to my husband about something last night that I hadn't before. I also know I am still in need of help but right now I know I need time to think about what kind of help will be right for me.

I have a lot going on in my life including a sick child and need time to think.

Hi FourFortyFour.

I'm glad that you were able to talk to and get some support from your DH.

I understand your point about getting the right sort of help for you, and I think that notnowbernard's advice about how to go about getting it is very good.

I know that you have a lot on at the moment, but I wonder whether it might be a goood idea to get the ball rolling in the meantime?

x

I just don't know if I can cope with anything else.

I want to get things ticked off before I start something new.

My DD has to go to hospital and she is far more important than me so I really need to get her seen and make sure she is okay before I can think about me. I am also a bit confused about what I need to do tbh so need time to make notes, etc.

444 your dd is not 'far more important than you'

Do you know why parents are told in airplanes to put their own oxygen masks on first? It's because if they don't they can't look after their children. An old chestnut but so true.

And you don't need to make notes, you need to be referred to a good psychotherapist or psychologist to work through your issues. That's important and you are procrastinating. Which helps neither you nor your dd.

I know it seems like I am procrastinating but I can't say what happened the other day and I have now fixed something in my head which means it is no longer an issue. I am not making an excuse. I just need to do things in my own time and I have to deal with some stuff first. I have an appointment booked for December with my GP for a routine follow up but I will probably go private when I do sort out some help for me. It has freaked me out a bit the appointment I had the other day and I no longer trust my own judgement to chose a different therapist.

The issue that had me crying at the beginning of the thread has gradually become a light bulb moment and isn't something a therapist could help me with tbh.

Hi FourFortyFour.

Yikes, December is a long time away. Don't wait that long - notnowbernard offered some very good advice about finding a reputable therapist.

Good luck.

x