My doctor recommends Citalopram but I can't help thinking I just need to do more running...

[RunningUphill]

I am depressed. My glorious career went to sh*t last year, my eldest child has been diagnosed with autism, my husband works long hours and I find it hard with work and childcare to get out of the house to breathe/meet people/get some perspective. I'm either furious or in floods of tears or grimly stomping on the treadmill in our front room to try and tire myself out so I can stop thinking.
My doctor says I'm depressed and need counselling and Citalopram. I'm wary of the chemicals and side effects of the latter my knee-jerk reaction is to that I just need more fresh air! but at this point I can't figure out how the hell else to get better. Am very bored of being only able to think about how pointless and crap I am.
Has anyone else been here or got suggestions? I'd be very grateful.

You have really got a lot on your plate and sometimes its difficult to see the wood for the trees. Maybe taking medication will give your mood enough of a lift to get a different perspective on yourself so that you realise you are not pointless and crap and can perhaps think about making some changes for yourself. There is really no stigma in taking medication-think of it as something to help dig yourself out of a hole -a big spade.

Thank you. That's a helpful way of seeing it.

I'm concerned about the impact of taking mind altering drugs, and how easy it will be to have a normal life while taking them -- i don't go out much, but I'd like to be able to have a drink if the occasion arises! plus i have a high-stress job that would be hard to manage if i was feeling woozy/headachy/sweaty/any of the other initial possible side effects.

I also wonder how easy it is to stop taking them after my doctor's suggested six-month course and whether that wouldn't provoke another crash. In other words, whether I need to find other survival techniques. I don't know what these are though.

If you take Citalopram and have counselling then you are tackling the issue two ways. The Citalopram will help you to think clearly and give your mind 'a rest'. The counselling will build you back up and give you coping and thinking strategies.
Hope everything works out for you.

KDDD -- thank you for the advice and for the laugh I got out of your nickname :)

Can I ask, have you ever taken it?

Hi there- I have felt just the same as this but with me it is swimming, and a Zumba dance class. If you can in any way get the time for your excercise in it could be what you need- it has been shown to be as good for anxiety and depression as the drugs, or better in terms of side effects. Maybe your body is telling you that.

Just reading through your post again- is there any way you could go to a class in your lunchbreak? It is great just to get a break and do something just for you. If you use that time to shop could you do it online or something- it is hard when you're stretched but just putting yourself first for an hour or so may help.

If you think more exercise will lift your mood then give it a go. I know that for me, walking the dog lifts my spirits, gets me out in the fresh air and puts things in perspective. There's alot to be said for getting some daylight on your face, especially at this time of year.

From personal experience I know that the drugs my mother had prescribed for her ended up changing her personality. She no longer felt awful all the time but she also never felt happy either and lost her sense of humour. She became locked in a round of drugs to help her sleep, drugs to get her going in the morning and she became dependant on them. But this was many years ago, the drug your doctor is recommending may be OK, I don't know.

However, the reality is you have alot on your plate and taking a drug isn't going to change that, you may need to think about where else you can get the support you need.

Exercise is only effective for moderate depression; if you need bigger doses of the essential chemicals, you're going to need to top up with drugs.

I had depression in my 20s, which I attempted to self-cure with vigorous exercise and meditation. I struggled on for months still barely functioning, and only 'passing for normal' to the outside world; then the GP prescribed an AP and I was back to my old self in 6 weeks.

Yes I take it now and am having CBT too. Inbox me if you want to know a bit more, glad to chat.

Running is amazing as an anti-depressant but outside is so so much better than on a treadmill. But take it from someone who loves running (when able) but also suffers from anxiety and depression, you sometimes need a helping hand and citalopram was a very effective one for me. It made me feel 100x better - not just neutral as fluoxetine had done, but enabled me to find the joy in life again.

I will confess to finding it hard to stop them now but I suspect that is because I haven't done it properly with the GPs help, I've just cut down the frequency of my doses and ended up feeling bad again.

Is childcare the main problem with getting out to run? It can be tricky for me and the only way I get round this is to haul myself out of bed on a Sunday and go before everyone else is properly up. I also manage another run on my day off in the week. Could you cycle/speedwalk/jog somewhere you would normally drive?

I run in the evenings and do one longer one at the weekend. But mine are old enough to be left for a short time now.

Thanks everyone.

I spoke to a new counsellor this morning who said in her opinion I am overloaded and buckling under the strain and would benefit from cognitive strategies for managing depression and low self-esteem. She said I am very able and just need to feel empowered and directed me to a book called Feeling Good by David Burn. Has anyone read it?

So now I'm just feeling more confused. I was just beginning to think maybe I should take the pills -- though I'd prefer to just exercise more I find it so so hard to get out of the house.

I work from 7am then pick up the kids- 9 year old and 18 months old - and do homework/teatime/bath/bed stuff with them and am basically stuck in the house -- husband rarely home before 8/8.30 and more often 10 - by which time I have to go to bed in order to be able to get up for work at 5am.

So much as I prefer running outside and would rather swim than eat pills I can't see how I can do it. Weekends not an option because then the step-sons come over and anyway I'm trying to find quality time with my big girl outside of the weekly routine of coaxing her to do homework or music practice or just have a conversation instead of monologuing ... while chasing the toddler and trying to get her to do her physio exercises (she won't walk.)

So should I just take the pills until I can think straight?

I don't want to though.

But I don't see what my other options are, and I can't bear to keep feeling so bad.

runninguphill I had a traumatic childbirth almost 16 months ago. I was diagnosed with PTSD and went through a counselling programme. However I still felt very upset and angry about what happened to me and just couldnt seem to get over it. Then I had to have an independent medical review for my court case (med negligence) and he couldnt believe that no-one had started me on medication.

Im not a big believer in depression and have never taken anti-depressents ...however I reluctantly started on Sertraline and the difference its made is phenomenal.
Like others have said, it gives you the abiliy to see things more clearly, to move on, to engage with counselling and to do all the things you want to do (ive started back at the gym and taken a holiday alone with dh which was amazing).

Please dont be like me and waste all that time feeling like shit because of a pre-concieved idea about taking medication. Give it a try, if you dont get on with them you can always change or stop taking them with help from your GP

Did anyone here who has taken ADs have side-effects?

I feel embarrassed to say it, but anything that made me put on weight, or not be able to drink, or lose my libido would pretty much remove the few things I do still enjoy (though the latter is proving increasingly hard to find these days in any case.)

Citalopram is NOT the same as the 'letter-box' drugs of yesteryear (such as dothiepin) so it is unlikely that it would have the same effect as drugs did on coolascucumber's mother.

What Citalopram does is replace the chemicals that should be in your body. This is a good thing. As insulin is to diabetics etc. etc.

If you do decide to take Citalopram, have a read through in this section for possible side-effects. These will be short-term, and it will take a few weeks for the positive effects to kick in.

Citalopram has quite literally given me my life back. It hasn't changed anything in it, but changes my ability to cope with everything and therefore deal with stuff in a much more positive and effective way.

Mosschops, I'm so sorry to hear about your bad birth experience. It's terrible that something so marvellous should have gone so wrong. I hope you are feeling much better. Can I ask why your doctor prescribed Sertraline in particular?

I still drink wine. I know you aren't supposed to but I try and drink moderately. TBH it's the depression that is the main reason for not drinking as far as I can tell as alcohol is a depressant.

Libido? Ha! I don't have much of one anyway and certainly didn't when I was feeling so anxious.

I have gained a lot of weight recently but that might be because of 1. menopause, 2. not being able to run as much due to injuries, 3. eating like a pig . I was on the citalopram for over a year before I started to really put the weight on so I can't really blame them.

When I first had them I was very sleepy for a while but that might have been because I was coming down off a constant plateau of anxiety and stress.

earwicga - wow. that's made me think again.

Good :)

I am feelin much better thanks to the medication, I'm just sorry I didn't do it sooner. Sertraline is a recognised treatment for ptsd and within nice guidelines as best practice. The only side effect I've had is teeth grinding. Its more of a platform to get better from, its not magic but has helped me get more perspective and get my life back

I am feelin much better thanks to the medication, I'm just sorry I didn't do it sooner. Sertraline is a recognised treatment for ptsd and within nice guidelines as best practice. The only side effect I've had is teeth grinding. Its more of a platform to get better from, its not magic but has helped me get more perspective and get my life back

i take the same tablets, i literally felt like i was swimming in treacle and life felt so hard, my mind whirred constantly i now exercise with enjoyment rather than block my thoughts i started taking them 6 weeks ago and things have improved greatly, ive been told at the end of the 6 months they will drop dose and wean you from them slowly so you dont crash hope this helps and good luck

oh and i was told the odd drink is ok, and the only way it seems to alter my mind is to stop me worrying and analizing things constantly

Mosschops delighted to hear you are having such good results with the medication - hope you can really get on with getting better now