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Original poster

Can't stop crying :0(

27 replies

ell1 · 04/02/2011 16:19

I have just seen my GP, I have seen her about half a dozen times now and thought I had found a 'good 'un'.
But today she seemed very inpatient with me and did not really seem to care about what I was trying to tell her.
I got the impression she thought I was selfish.

It never takes me long to get people to hate me, but I wasn't expecting her reaction to be honest.

I doubt I will go back.

I have taken a load of Diazepams and hopefully can just go to sleep and forget about it.....

OP posts:
BookcaseFullofBooks · 04/02/2011 16:24

Hi ell1. When you say you have taken a load of Diazepam, do you mean a prescribed dose?

You are clearly feeling very low so look after yourself and keep posting on here for help. Hugs x

shodatin · 04/02/2011 16:37

Hope you've not taken too many.
I'm sure GPs have bad days too, and who knows what problem her last patient had? Is she the only one at the practice, or could you see someone else?
Sorry you're feeling so down.

Original poster
ell1 · 04/02/2011 16:38

No, I have taken a lot more than the prescribed dose, but have done it before and always just sleep it off.

I have a high tolerance to Benzo's.

Thank you for you quick reply.

I feel like the entire world is against me (except my partner of course).

I have already seen two other GP's in that practice who I was not impressed with, so it must be me?????

OP posts:
Original poster
ell1 · 04/02/2011 16:40

Must admit to feeling like taken a whole lot more of other stuff ( something I have not felt/done since October last year).

:0(

OP posts:
dearprudence · 04/02/2011 16:41

Is anyone with you ell1?

nemofish · 04/02/2011 16:42

What problem are you approaching them with?
Could you be getting support from a counsellor or from psychology services?
Have your GPs referred you anywhere?
Are you going to the GPS for a chat? If so they may feel that this is an innapropriate use of appointment time, but if that's the case they need to say so and arrange appropriate support for you.

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

BookcaseFullofBooks · 04/02/2011 16:43

Can you tell us a bit more about yourself?

Have you been struggling with this for a long time?

dearprudence · 04/02/2011 16:46

The OP posted this earlier today.

I hope you don't think I'm invading your privacy ell1, but obviously people are concerned about your safety just now.

BookcaseFullofBooks · 04/02/2011 16:58

Have you been under alot of stress to trigger you lately?

dearprudence · 04/02/2011 19:24

What are you doing this evening. Is DP home?

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 19:32

ell1 However much it seems like it, I Promise You, your GP does NOT hate you. It just seems that way to you because you are in such a bad way.

Please, please, please, call someone and tell them that you have taken an overdose. Everybody on here will support you and help you through your trauma, but you absolutely MUST get help now.

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 19:41

ell1 are you still there? I'm sending you a big cyber hug. Everything will be ok - You've got a whole network of mums on here who will point you in the right direction and you'll get all the help you needed. Smile

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 19:42

I mean you need.

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 19:44

I'm home all night, if you want to talk....

babartheelephant · 04/02/2011 19:51

Hello ell1. I just read your message. Please call an ambulance now if you have taken an overdose.
3 years ago my sister did this to herself. She had severe depression. She nearly died. The ambulance saved her. She was taken to hospital where they looked after her and she has slowly put the pieces of the jigsaw back into the right places, some of them different places.
It's so important that you get help. I am quite upset and frightened by your post, but I really hope that this message gives you hope.
My sister is better now, happier, healthier, with really good GP looking after her now.
I sometimes re-read my sister's note that she left for her kids which I found. You don't ever want to be in that situation.
Take each day at a time. Today, just stay alive. Big hug.

babartheelephant · 04/02/2011 19:56

I just read your earlier post. My sister had borderline personality disorder amongst other things like ?bipolar disorder / auditory hallucinations / self-harming etc. She is now happily married to a lovely man who she met in hospital with paranoid schizophrenia. In our family, you are not normal unless you have a mental health issue. Please take heart, forget what your GP said to you, it's Friday afternoon, she/he probably had no sense of the seriousness of the situation. Just get some help tonight, and be home with your DP if you are safe enough to be home. Lots of love.

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 19:59

what a lovely, uplifting message. You're not alone out there, however much you think you are.

babartheelephant · 04/02/2011 20:00

Never alone. Mumsnet always there for me, and always there for each other. x

GORGEOUSX · 04/02/2011 20:02

Think OP might be asleep..... she took overdose around 4.30 ......are you there OP?

Original poster
ell1 · 04/02/2011 22:37

I have just woke up. Thank you for all your kind messages. My partner is in now. xx

OP posts:
shodatin · 04/02/2011 22:40

Thankyou for posting - am relieved you're ok.

BookcaseFullofBooks · 05/02/2011 03:59

I'm glad you're okay x

dearprudence · 05/02/2011 09:33

Thanks for letting us know you're OK.

Could you give the GP another chance, and let them know what happened yesterday.

GORGEOUSX · 05/02/2011 14:51

ell1 I'm so glad you posted back. My internet went down last night and I couldn't get back to you.

Is your DP able to take charge, with regards the GP, and go back with you?

Please do come back on here and let us know how you get on - you'll get loads of good advice on MN. Thinking of you, Love X

Original poster
ell1 · 06/02/2011 19:35

Thanks for your support everyone. x

The thing with my partner going to see the GP with me, is that when I came out of hospital last October one of the things I would try and do would be to try and be more independant (meaning going to appointments etc. on my own).

I also am really not keen about going back to see her at all.

My partner was nearly crying today too, she said she is sick of me being ill all the time :0(

I must admit to keep looking at all my meds and wondering if everyone would be better off without me?

OP posts: