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I hate my baby

30 replies

MyLifeIsFeelingFestive · 04/12/2010 08:34

ds2 is 21 weeks. I know in my heart I do love him but a lot of the time I don't like him, and sometimes I'll hear myself saying 'I hate you' :( I feel like such a bad parent but I just can't cope.

ds1 is almost 2. He was not an easy baby, but has turned into a wonderful toddler who I am extremely proud of. From a young age however I noticed ds2 wasn't feedng properly. At first I thought it was transition from bf to ff (12 days) but the older he got I knew something was wrong. After a bit of investigation / diagnostic testing, it has been confirmed that he can't suck properly and therefore feeding has always been stressful, for both of us.

As a result he is not a content baby. Far, far from it. He cries a lot and even when he's not crying he'll often moan for ages and it really grates on me. Even though he's almost 5 months 4/4.5oz is all he'll usually drink and therefore he's always hungry. He's up all night, probably because he can't fill himself up through the day. I can cope a bit better through the day when there are distractions for both of us, but through the night I hate him. My counsellor (who I've seen once) says I don't hate him, I hate his behaviour, but that's not how it feels in the middle of the night when nothing will settle him yet. At those times it's him I hate.

Sorry for the long post. I just feel so bad about my feelings towards him. I hate myself for hating him, but I do. I just want a magic fast forward button.

OP posts:
colditz · 05/12/2010 10:29

You don't hate him. f you hate someone, you hate them even when they are snuggling into a powder blue blanket, sleeping peacefully. And I bet you don't hate him then.

It's the difficulties his feeding is causing you that you hate.

He will be better this time next year. he will be toddling or crawling and full of joy and giggles. YOu just have to get him there!

colditz · 05/12/2010 10:29

Could you find a child minder who would take him for a 3 hour slot twice a week? It wouldn't cost too much, and would give you a valuable break.

colditz · 05/12/2010 10:32

or try this lass!

MyLifeIsFeelingFestive · 05/12/2010 20:55

Thanks colditz. No, I don't hate him at those times. In fact even after he's stopped crying and he has big, wide, teary eyes I think how God-damn gorgeous he is. He has the most beautiful smile too. I have chilled out a bit since writing the opening post and can see that it's how he acts that I hate, not him. I just need to remember that smile in the dead of night :)

He slept 12.25 to 3.45 last night so I feel a bit better for the 3 and a bit hours of unbroken sleep.

Yes, next Christmas will be brilliant Xmas Grin

OP posts:
tb · 10/12/2010 16:06

Mliff, when I was weaning dd, someone I knew who had gc told me to press down on her tongue a bit with the spoon as she needed to stop pushing her tongue forward as she did when feeding. It seemed a bit cruel to me, but it stopped her pushing her tongue out, and any food with it. It was just a gentle push, a bit like the gp does with a spatula when looking at your throat and asking you go say 'ah'.

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