ds2 is 21 weeks. I know in my heart I do love him but a lot of the time I don't like him, and sometimes I'll hear myself saying 'I hate you' :( I feel like such a bad parent but I just can't cope.
ds1 is almost 2. He was not an easy baby, but has turned into a wonderful toddler who I am extremely proud of. From a young age however I noticed ds2 wasn't feedng properly. At first I thought it was transition from bf to ff (12 days) but the older he got I knew something was wrong. After a bit of investigation / diagnostic testing, it has been confirmed that he can't suck properly and therefore feeding has always been stressful, for both of us.
As a result he is not a content baby. Far, far from it. He cries a lot and even when he's not crying he'll often moan for ages and it really grates on me. Even though he's almost 5 months 4/4.5oz is all he'll usually drink and therefore he's always hungry. He's up all night, probably because he can't fill himself up through the day. I can cope a bit better through the day when there are distractions for both of us, but through the night I hate him. My counsellor (who I've seen once) says I don't hate him, I hate his behaviour, but that's not how it feels in the middle of the night when nothing will settle him yet. At those times it's him I hate.
Sorry for the long post. I just feel so bad about my feelings towards him. I hate myself for hating him, but I do. I just want a magic fast forward button.