PND, how long will I feel like this, Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

[fantus]

Sorry if this gets long and confused but I just need to put it down somewhere.

I have a 4 year old and 6 month old. Over the past few weeks my mood has got lower and lower to the point where I feel tearful every day and can't see an end to feeling this way. I spoke to my health visitor yesterday and she is coming to see me next week as she thinks I have PND.

I know it's very personal but can anyone share any experiences or let me know if any of this sounds normal?

I just feel so ungrateful for what I have. We tried for 2 years to have our 6 month old with 2 mmc and I know I should be so happy but some days I just wake up dreading facing another day. But other days I don't feel so bad. Does PND come and go like this? Also could it be sleep deprivation? DD is up every night for at least an hour. Sometimes I think everything would be so much better if I could just get a good nights sleep. The days after a bad night are the worst and I feel "flat" like it is hard to muster up an emotion. Sorry if I'm not explaining it very well.

Physically I am getting headaches all the time and seem to be losing a lot of hair, I just need to pull on it and handfuls come out. Also I have become so forgetful which I hate as I am usually very organised.

Can anyone tell me if they have felt this way and what helped?

If it is PND how long did it last for others and are there other treatments apart from medication that I could look into?

Sorry if I don't get back to any responses quickly. Both DC's have a nasty tummy bug so I am up to my eyes in poo and puke today!

TIA

sweetkitty I ahve 3 ahve been on 2 pregnacy thread u were on, I think we ahve crap pregnacys too if i rmeber correctly that makes it worse as we knew what was coming. I am finding it easir as small one is 6 momnnths now but still ahve awful days where i a jsut not gettign anywhere and feel terrible and can't even get to the supermarket inthe next street as it all seems to much with the double buggy or hell that is toddler walking, I'm hopeing I vener ahve mroe kids as some days i just wait for bedtiem and try to do better tomrorw, dont' knw what to day to help but u are nto alone

sweetkitty - another one here saying see your tGP
I saw mine last week and it seemed to go well. She was very sympathetic and listened to me rabbit on. We discussed different options and she is referring me for counselling sessions and made it clear I can return at any time for AD's if this is what I decide.

I'm feeling like I am on a rollercoaster at the minute. Constantly up and down. Yesterday was a good day - me, DH and DS went out for the day and had a lovely time.

Today I feel awful. DD was up for 2 hours in the night again then up for the day at 5.45am. I am exhausted and miserable. I feel like I am the only person in the world with no social life / no friends / nothing to look forward to. I know rationally it's not true but I can't shake the feeling that everyone else is happy except me.

And I'm struggling with DD - just don't want to bother with her I'm a horrible mum. And DH goes back to work tomorrow and I am dreading it.

LITR if you are around I hope your ok - or at least having a better day than me

I know I have to see the GP, DH was having a go at me this morning about me always being stressed and rushing about and being miserable oh and shouting at the girls

I am utterly exhausted and I am getting migraines from lack of sleep as well.

Anyway will write more tomorrow am off to bed.

Sorry sweetkitty, I didn't mean for you to think I was having a go also.

I hope you had a good nights sleep x

Sorry fantus no I didn't think you were getting on at me.

Have got an appt with GP next Thursday.

Things really bad with DH he just dies t understand, he says I am always miserable and tired. He does ask what he can do, tells me to go yo bed for an hour etc but I told him when I go to bed I cannot sleep too much in my head, he said that's ridiculous.

Sorry fantus no I didn't think you were getting on at me.

Have got an appt with GP next Thursday.

Things really bad with DH he just dies t understand, he says I am always miserable and tired. He does ask what he can do, tells me to go yo bed for an hour etc but I told him when I go to bed I cannot sleep too much in my head, he said that's ridiculous.

I have the same problem with sleep sweetkitty. DH had DD downstairs last night and just brought her up for feeds. It still took me hours to get to sleep. Like you, my mind just starts racing - all kinds of random stuff that I do not need to be thinking about in the early hours. Glad you made a GPs appt.

I'm the same about sleep too. DH will also say to me go and have an hour but I just lie there counting down the minutes till I have to get up again.

I hope things go better with your GP than they did with your HV.

Hi ladies - slight namechange but it's still me :) (new name harks back to my clubbing days, many moons ago - am neither glittery nor remotely goddess like nowadays!)

How is everyone feeling today? Fantus I am here to kick you in the bum, you are NOT a horrible mum, if you were you wouldn't even care about your DD, would you? You are paralysed by depression, is what you are.

I don't know if this will help anyone but I reckon my ADs (citalopram) started working already, today is day 14 and I have had 5 consecutive good days - am also getting off to sleep more easily, totally identify with what you were all saying about your mind racing, and mine is so much better now.

I know meds aren't for anyone but honestly I think they have made a mega difference to me, I can communicate and have fun with DD again and am definitely getting more sleep.

Can I just give everyone massive (((hugs)))?

Don't tell anyone outside of this thread though, don't want to get blackballed from MN!

Good to see you ginger - kick in the bum duly received and appreciated.

I'm really glad to hear you are having a good run of things and sleep is getting better too.

DH did the night shift last night and although she woke twice she settled very quickly for him. I went to bed at nine and went straight to sleep - fireworks and all - and had the best night I've had in ages, thank you DH.

Has anyone had any experience of St John's Wort? My GP mentioned it as an alternative to prescribed meds and I just wondered if anyone had used it before or is it a waste of money???

How is everyone doing? I hope you are all getting the help and support you need x

SJW Thread here and here

Opinion seems fairly divided but might be worth a try. Could you go and see a proper herbalist for advice? Have you tried anything else eg acupuncture?

Hope everyone is having a good(ish) weekend