i'm sorry

[misdee]

but i feel so down again. my husband should be home with me and the kids, not stuck in hospital for god knows how long. i cant bear to think of him there day after day, each night alone, being prodded and poked by the nurses. i want him home so much, and miss him. it just isnt fair. its been 2months since i gave him a proper hug as its impossible with all his wires and tubes. just feel that our relationship has changed so much in the last few months, and not sure how things are going to be when he comes out.

yep!! not up to anything

cheers.

still feeling a bit down. dd1 has a cold, i am going down with it, dd2 is running av temp, so now have guilt as well as feeling sad.

Big Hugs misdee.
Sorry you are all feeling run down and full of cold. Don?t feel guilty if your family are ill - how on earth can that be your fault?
You are one remarkable woman who has inspired so many - but you are not superhuman. I know it must be frustrating not being able to get into hospital when you are all ill - but you can?t do anything about that. How about spending some lovely girlie time with a nice pampering day indoors? sounds like you all need to recharge your batteries. Might be worth taking some vit C and zinc to keep you all going?
Whatever you do, hope the day improves for you all and your colds disappear quickly xx

misdee, I echo everyone else here - take care of yourself but lean on others too. Thinking of you. And cake and tea are G O O D. Eat lots with your sister.

Kbear
x

I am so sad to read this Misdee but everyone has their hard times and you can't be expected to be up all the time.My dp probably felt like you as we weren't a proper family while I was on dialysis.When he has his transplant thins will slowly return to normal-ish for you all.I never thought dp and I would be a normal couple again but it does come For now you probably feel more like a carer than a lover/partner and I know for people whose partners are ill that is one of the hardest things He is still the person you fell in love with but it is on hold for now.We went on holiday for the 1st time this yr since my transplant and it was heaven just to be all together like everyone else This will come for you too I agree you should maybe start taking some vitamins and try to really look after yourself if you can You are truly remarkable the way you cope esp with 3 little ones .Can Peter leave the hospital and even the 2 of you have a picnic or something together.We used to talk a lot about what we would do when i was better and it really kept us going.Make small plans and have a wish list xx

thanks noddyholder, i do feel more like a carer than anything else atm. cant go out atm with him as he is still weak after infection, needs to get his strength up. once he has has 5(?) escorted visits into the village with a trained nurse who will monitor his LVAD function, then we can go out further with him. Just want to go to the pub on the canal and have lunch with him. hoefully we'll manage it soon and we can eat outside by the canal.

Make the lunch at the pub your 1st wish You will really feel you have achieved something.

its so hard to deal with being a carer as well as a wife. even tho he is now in hospital i am still doing a lot for him. plus his old jobs (laundry, garden, decluttering) which i cant do as well as him.

Do you have any male friends who could help you out with the garden and stuff til he gets better

i do enjoy the garden, its just mowing the lawn atm, as our plans to do it up are a waaay down on the list of prioties atm. tho would love to get it finished for when he comes out. Am currently decluttering, as needto do a car boot sale before end of oct.

Thinking of you Misdee.