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Original poster

i'm sorry

38 replies

misdee · 10/09/2005 23:13

but i feel so down again. my husband should be home with me and the kids, not stuck in hospital for god knows how long. i cant bear to think of him there day after day, each night alone, being prodded and poked by the nurses. i want him home so much, and miss him. it just isnt fair. its been 2months since i gave him a proper hug as its impossible with all his wires and tubes. just feel that our relationship has changed so much in the last few months, and not sure how things are going to be when he comes out.

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QueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2005 23:14

not sure what to say really - and a bit too drunk to think of anything remotely witty to try and make you laugh at me.

hugs

tammybear · 10/09/2005 23:14

oh misdee im so sorry to hear things havent improved and that you're feeling so down. sending you lots of hugs hun!

QueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2005 23:14

oh - and don't apologise - there's nothing to say sorry aboit

MrsSpoon · 10/09/2005 23:16

Hope things change for the better soon, Misdee.

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:16

feeling useless, and wondering when will we get our lives back?

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QueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2005 23:17

here - have a virtual glass of Lambrini it's all I can think of to cheer you up

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:18

but i know things wont get better overnight, we still have to do the escorted trips out, then the trips by ourselves to the nearby towns etc, before he can even think of coming home. and then we still have to go through the transplant phase. keep thinking that i can't do xmas in there, i just cant.

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marthamoo · 10/09/2005 23:18

I'm a bit tiddly too (though I haven't had 4 glasses of Lambrusco like that lush, QofQ) but I can reiterate - don't apologise. Not many of us here have been in your shoes and I think you're entitled to feel sad and need a bit of support.

aloha · 10/09/2005 23:18

It isn't fair Misdee. It's not fair at all. I'm really, really sorry. It must absolutely awful for you. But you really love him and he really loves you. That's really clear from your posts. I hope and hope and hope things change for you soon.

marthamoo · 10/09/2005 23:18

Lambrusco, Lambrini, whatever.

QueenOfQuotes · 10/09/2005 23:19

4? - no am on my 5th at the moment - about to go and top up with 6th

sorry thread hijack

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:21

dd1 keeps asking when daddy is coming home, i cant give her an answer

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Aero · 10/09/2005 23:25

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this too misdee, though I'm sure it's perfectly normal to feel this way given what your family is going through at the moment. You have nothing to apologise for at all though. You're right - it isn't fair - the things most of us take for granted are the very things you can't have right now. He's in the right place though and they are doing their best to get him better for you so you can have a proper hug with him and have him home again where he belongs. Not the same, but hugs from me too. Be kind to yourself. It might not be easy, but what you have together (from what I can gather on here), is rock solid, and somehow you'll find a way through, I'm sure.

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:30

miss him so much atm. there is much i want to do with him, to gop out and have a meal together, to see a film, go to a gig, a holiday. but its all out of ourreach. i got holiday confirmation last week for me and the girls, and i just wish he could come too.

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Yorkiegirl · 10/09/2005 23:33

Message withdrawn

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:34

but is he going to get better? there are no guarentees.

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Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:40

its been almost a year since he got really bad, how much more can we take?

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aloha · 10/09/2005 23:41

I don't now Misdee. But then I don't know how you got so far, including having your BEAUTIFUL dd, and still just got on with it.

Aero · 10/09/2005 23:42

No-one can answer that misdee, but neither of you are about to give up without a fight are you? I believe you're both strong enough to see this through and I hold you in my thoughts often, praying for Peter's recovery.

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:44

he is so down atm as well. the infection has set him back so much, and he is scared of getting back ot exercising in case his ICD goes off again.

he is missing so much, dd3 is changing each day, and i am taking hundreds of pics, his room is covered in pics of the girls, but he should be here to see it all.

so much for getting to his 30's before transplant is needed.

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Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:49

i am just so glad i fought for this bungalow, cant imagine how much harder this would be if we were still in a masionette.

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berolina · 10/09/2005 23:53

am too sleepy and useless to say anything that would help.
cant imagine how hard things must be for you. You have come so far already, so bravely. And I know you've got so much ahead of you still, and there are no guarantees, but how strong you are, and how loving.

Original poster
misdee · 10/09/2005 23:56

thanks everyone. just feeling like shites, wasnt able to get in during the week, now dd1 is ill, so cant go in. just want to be a normal family again

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sparklymieow · 11/09/2005 00:01

come round in the week, and we will eat cakes and drink tea, like we do!!

Original poster
misdee · 11/09/2005 00:02

can i pop round monday? dd2 at perschool, then hospital in the afternoon.

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