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Mental health

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Original poster

Alone Again (Naturally)

28 replies

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 09:25

On my own with non talking toddler all day. Not a soul to talk too with only washing to catch up with.
Mum says you just have to get on with it like we all do. There is only so many times I can go to the park with him or go around the shops. The summer holidays have been hell and I have been very short tempered with folk at times and everything seems petty and stupid too.
And then I feel bad and then I hate who I am.
Got PMT too which is getting worse and worse every month and I get into mini tantrums and I cry and am so alone and I wish for something else. My OH is self employed and he is never home at the moment.
He got in at 9 last night and was up at 5 this am. Yes it is Saturday, that makes no difference.
He has been like this the last month and he is so stressed and this contract is a biggy - very important that it is succesful.
Also we are living at mum in laws at the moment as our house is upside down and meant to be having a new kitchen fitted, but he want to be doing it. he don't trust anyone else to do it. He used to fit kitchen before having his own manufacturing business.
Stll waiting for B and Q to deliver our oven - that's a whole different thread though. Buggers.
So we can't get on with kitchen anyhow leave alone having the time to do it.

I don't know why I'm rambling on and talking about myself again. I doub't if anyone is reading this. They are spending time with their families and enjoying the weather. Sorry but it;s the way that I feel.
And if I'm attention seeking well actually I don't care if I am. I'm unhappy and not liking my attitude either and this selfishness but I would love to snap out of it.

OP posts:

sweetbean · 03/09/2005 09:39

Hi Hun
My others self employed to and yes it is saturday and yes he has gone to work to and yes i am alone with baby and pile of washing up
are you ok,are you on anti d's? i have PND but am on anti D's and find that thay have realy helped i hope that your still watching this tread as i won't you to know that your not alone !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arabella2 · 03/09/2005 09:54

Hi
alone as well. Dh also self-employed, and has also been working like mad over the past 3 weeks as we have money problems. We are having problems with each other (probably as he is stressed and exhausted and me the same though he doesn't quite see why I should be (am pregnant plus have 2 kids, 3 and 1) which is not helping. When I asked dh yesterday if he was working today he said yes in this tone of voice which meant OF COURSE WHAT DO YOU THINK - even when he does not have money problems he has a tendency towards being a workaholic. Sorry to just ramble on about myself but in a way I am relieved that I am not the only one whose dh is away... Was reading that thread "let's hear it for the boy" in the relationships section and am feeling jealous of everyone with attentive loving partners.
MistressMary are your in-laws not around to keep you company? Do you get on with them? I'm sorry you feel depressed. To me it sounds like a little more than the circumstances though obviously if they were more to your liking you would feel happier. Do you have any friends nearby and is your own family close? I know these things are sometimes easier said than done. I have felt unbelievably lethargic recently, the house is a tip and I can never get to the bottom of it. I think dh looks around and thinks what is the matter with this undomesticated creature I wish I hadn't met .
You can get counselling through your gp if you feel you need to talk to someone - to me it sounds like you really need support and friendly people to talk to. Is your baby quite demanding or does he/she let you get on with some things? Please keep posting if you feel you need to talk.
I have found the summer holidays very difficult as well - anyway they are almost over .

Nemo1977 · 03/09/2005 10:00

aww MM can fully empathise. MY dh works 13hr days and has 2 days off a week. I am stay at home with our son who will be 2 in oct and am 6mths pregnant. He also works weekends, or whenever he has to and he isnt even self employed. I sometimes think if i was a single mum i would find it easier to cope being alone...probably doesnt make sense. I have also suffered depression for the past 2 yrs and am socially isolated which doesnt help the situation. I have no family as such to call on[long story] and dhs parents are quite old so dont like to bother them. I never get time away from ds and will probably be same for ds and baby..but at the same time what can I do about it.

pesha · 03/09/2005 10:03

Hi mm, i just wrote you really lomg msg but dd knocked plug out the socket so lost it all and have to go out soon so dont have time to write it all again but sure lots of people will be along with advice soon and ill be back this afternoon.
I basically said no its not attention seeking or anything like that, this is what mn is here for to share problems and worries and everything and anything else. And that a yr or so ago i was on my own every weekend with 2 whinging kids, no momey, no car, just stuck in the house alone and i think its so much worse at the weekend cos you imagine everyone else is out doing 'family things' all together and i wasnt . Sorry thats not very positive or helpful is it, some how i think i phrased that better 1st time round!

Are you sure it is pmt and not pnd? Have you seen your dr?

Will be back soon, spect loads other mners will be along by now anyway! .

Original poster

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 16:15

Hey there,

Thanks for support. I am glad in a way I'm not alone. And that some of you can relate to these feelings. I can understand what you mean by being better if you were a single with a baby. I have thought that same thought!
I was on anti ds a while back and did feel low after the birth etc.
But on the whole I can cope now with the mums and toddler groups I go to and mostly okay.
Except for the summer - hence the return of lonely feelings.
Also my moods do deteriote rotten before periods. But improve at other times. I wonder if we could start up a thread for us mums who spend a lot of time on their own. We could support each other and see how we feel ona day to day basis or something like that?
Perhaps that would help me anyhow and know at least we can help each other?

OP posts:

Original poster

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 18:35

anyone please????????????????????

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 03/09/2005 18:59

I feel for your loneliness MM. I feel the same way as you when dh is away (frequently). How old is your little one? You know, it should get better when he is older. I know that is no use to you now, but just in case you thought it was always going to be like it is now....

fqueenzebra · 03/09/2005 19:19

Hey MM -- could you afford to do some "days out". To the beach, a local discovery park, a steam engine railway, a nature reserve? Anything really, just so you aren't just bumming around with hardly more than your own thoughts for company.

Original poster

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 19:38

Hiya he is 22 months old.
I have taken J to loads of places, but it's not the same as having partner or friends there.
Also get reminded when I see happy families together when on my own with our boy.
Just had a phone call from my partner he will be working for another couple of hours at least.
At least J has gone to bd early tonight.
He's been awake all day and teething too.

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 03/09/2005 19:41

Any Mumsnet meet ups you could go to? You are near Bath aren't you? I saw a Bath meet up thread only today.........

Original poster

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 19:43

Shall have a look right now.

OP posts:

pesha · 03/09/2005 22:13

Hi mm, I know exactly what you mean about seeing other families out together and looking like they're having such a wonderful time when you're there on your own

Its prob all just a front for their kids you know and as soon as kids go to bed they start ripping shreds off each other!!

I also get really bad pmt, get really down, moody, snap at everything, have no patience with kids, feel really lethargic and cant really be bothered to do anything round the house and i get major munchies too which isnt good as im meant to be on a diet! And it lasts about 2-3 weeks

Where abouts near bath are you, im in yeovil

Original poster

MistressMary · 03/09/2005 23:03

Ahh Somerset.
I live near Devizes.
Do you ever go the clarkes outlet village in Street?

OP posts:

pesha · 03/09/2005 23:43

Yeah i do quite abit although i normally get someone to take me as i dont drive, yet (am about to start learning!), but there are buses i could get. Think ill be going again fairly soon, im sure ds is gonna need some new shoes and he has really fat feet so have to be clarks and im too skint to buy them at full price Would you want to meet up?

Original poster

MistressMary · 04/09/2005 09:22

Maybe it would a nice idea.
Could compare notes and do a spot of retail therapy at the same time?
Another day with OH working today.
But got Mum in law for company.

OP posts:

littlerach · 04/09/2005 09:51

Hi, didn't see this yesterday, or I'd have suggested meeting up!! We were on our own most of the day, as DH was picking up his other 2 for the weekend.

It is so hard hwen you're not really on your own, as in you have a partner, but you are left on your own as they are busy. When DD1 was born, DH was going to see his other 2 every weekend, so it felt that he was working 6 days a week.

CAT me if you like, my email has changed since last time. Then if you are stuck again, you can enail me and we'll meet in Trowbridge? As soon as DD1 is at school properly then I'll be able to commit to a proper meeting! But I daren't make arrangements at the moment, as the school hours are a bit jumbled!

Please don't get too down, and CAT me whenever you like!

Original poster

MistressMary · 05/09/2005 19:18

Aww thanks Rach.
Hopefully will get to meet up soon.

My Oh went to work at 3.30 this am and he has no idea what time he will finish tonight.
The container has to be ready for the shipment by first light and he is panicking that the furniture will not all be ready.
I started my mums groups aggain today thank goodness.
Really enjoyed that. But J stayed awake all day and was really overtired and grizzly today. Lots of tears and had lots of nappy changes too. Teeth for you.
So he was ready for bed at 6.30.
Now on my own til gawd know what time.

OP posts:

pesha · 05/09/2005 22:22

Hi mm, hows it going?

Sorry didnt post back before, yeah i think it would be nice to meet up some time, let me know if you're gonna be coming this way and ill try and find out bus times and things.

Glad your mums group was good, its amazing how hard the summer hols can be isnt it? Dd starts school tomorrow, part of me is all upset that my babys all grown up and going to school and part of mes thinking oh thank god, finally a bit of a break from one of them at last!

Original poster

MistressMary · 06/09/2005 09:54

Hiya will let you know about Street if I'm heading that way.
Could be soon.
Yep back to some sort of normality for the mo.
DP had to go in early this am again, he got home at 11.20 last night.
DS was up early and hopefully will drop off to sleep soon after his morning bottle.

OP posts:

sweetbean · 06/09/2005 10:09

pesha i live in yeovil to ahhhhh cool

Original poster

MistressMary · 06/09/2005 12:57

Wow!

Could be a meet in the making?

OP posts:

pesha · 06/09/2005 19:11

Hi sweetbean, was going to ask you whereabouts and a bit about you but dont know if you really want to put it all on here for everyone to see but cat me if you want and we can chat and same to you mistressmary, would love to get to know you both and meet up sometime

impatient · 07/09/2005 10:18

Hey mm, hows things today?

Original poster

MistressMary · 07/09/2005 22:11

Good thinking.

Yep pretty tired and full of cold today.

OH immersed in his work, very tired himself and non vocal tonight. Feeling a bit surplus to his requirements.
Could do with a cuddle form him and a chat.
Out tomorrow hopefully with a friend that lives nearby.

OP posts:

Original poster

MistressMary · 09/09/2005 09:59

Crying and feeling not worthy today.

OP posts:

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