Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Family planning

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Arrange or love marriage

1 reply

haseebathar · 02/08/2026 15:21

Which should be more prefer

OP posts:
JahanaraBegum · 02/08/2026 17:14

Depends on location and age and how traditional your family are. If you are in India/Pakistan then arranged is likely to be expected, depends on your family if they will be open to accepting your own choice. Even in the UK this happens often too. My driving instructor was a lovely Pakistani man-- his daughter found her own husband, they loved him but still told the community that they found him for her. Otherwise there would be judgement.

Personally I think love-match but I am westernised. Arranged can also work if both agree and everyone is happy with it. Love match or arranged, happiness is not guaranteed.

I have many friends with an arranged marriage some agreed to it, some did it due to pressure. Some were even happy about it and hopeful for love. All are now miserable except one. A friend even had his wife leave him, withhold his baby and tell him that she planned it all along. She had him investigated first to check that he was finanically solvent. He was so sure that she was a good match but how much can you know about a person you only met a few times? My other friend married for his mother only she told him she would end her life if he didnt marry, due to the shame from the community. These are not good thihngs.

I currently have another friend who has agreed mutually with the fiance, although he was previously unknown, and she seems hopeful enough but let's see.

Are you thinking of a love match or has your family chosen someone you are not sure about?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page