Vasectomy regret after less than a year?

[Mumma123456]

DH had a vasectomy after the loss of our 4th baby at 10w3d last summer. The vasectomy had already been booked, and we went though with it thinking that our family was complete, 4th would have just been the icing on the cake, but we didn’t want to put ourselves through more heartache and we would just be happy with what we have (3 healthy daughters).

fast forward to now, 6 months later, and I am having so many feelings of regret and I wish we hadn’t done it so we could try for baby #4 again. But have we missed the boat now? I am 32 and DH is 33 so we are still young, but also knee deep in our very demanding careers. Has anyone had a vasectomy reversal within a year of having it done and have any stories of this?

I suspect you are still very much in the bereavement process. Breathe, take time, get some support. Your feelings will be complicated and distressing.

My husband had a vasectomy when I was 6 months pregnant with our first (and only). I wouldnt say I regret it because all the reasons we wanted to stop at one still apply- finances, gestational diabetes, the fact we own a 2 bed flat in london and dont want to leave.

But I do often mourn having another baby and wonder if this urge would go away if I had a second. Clearly not.

I think not putting yourself through more heartache is very valid. It took us 10 years to have ds and even if we had a second, I would be at least 37 to 39 with a second and given i was infertile in my 20s who knows if that would be possible. But at the same time, not knowing is very stressful. So in a sense while it can feel like a loss, there is something liberating about it because you also have certainty..

Did your husband get a reversal?

Nothing in the OP to indicate her DH regretted, let alone planned to reverse the vasectomy!

Yes but clearly in the last sentence the OP is asking if anyone's husband had had a vascetomy reversal...so it was a relevant question...

My husband did decide to get a reversal! He was having the same feelings as I was and so after a lengthy discussion he had the reversal a couple months ago in June. We are going to see what happens! He hasn’t had a sperm analysis or anything yet, we are just waiting to see what happens and what will be will be. Both of us feel much more at peace with this decision though and to see what happens! Thank you all.

This is so interesting to hear! My husband got a vasectomy 2 years ago and I am really regretting it and have discussed a reversal with him. He is on the fence and has asked for some time to think. Would you mind me asking what his recovery time was and the cost? I know the cost varies! Am I right in thinking it can take a while for sperm to return?

@SnappyTiger i think all in all it was around £5k, including sperm banking. But thankfully it was covered by his work as one of their “family building” benefits. Recovery was actually fine, better than the actual vasectomy I’d say but he got an infection after the initial vasectomy so that didn’t help. He was bruised for a week or so, but they gave him a jack strap to wear and he was fine. He had the reversal done on Wednesday and went to london on work on the Friday for a full day! He started running again 3 weeks after the op when he felt fully normal again.

Oh wow that's really good! Also really good to hear a positive experience I've read so many negative ones on these forums! When do you get the first sperm analysis? I assume you get told whether it has been successful or is it more just try and see? So pleased for you! Let's hope my husband feels the same as I do about a reversal 🥴

I think it’s 3 months they test it so in September sometime, and they’ll tell us if sperm are present, how many and their motility I believe. Like a full sperm report!

if there’s no sperm present or below a certain number, then we still have the sperm that we banked during the reversal to use for IUI or IVF as then they would class the reversal as unsuccessful. The surgeon was very positive at the time though and said he couldn’t see why it wouldn’t be successful so fingers crossed!