Would the current climate and cost of living put you off having a 3rd child if you were on benefits?

[mugcup]

As about.what are your thoughts ?

Tbh I probably wouldn't even plan for one child if I was on benefits with no long term plan. It depends what you mean by benefits though. Working and earning and getting it topped up or only income being benefits with no plans to look for work. Need more details.

Yes absolutely. We have a really decent combined income and I'm already worried about covering bills this winter so I wouldn't even contemplate having a 3rd child.

I always knew I was going to stop at 2 anyway so perhaps that's clouding my view but I think if I wasn't extremely financially comfortable it would most likely make me change my plans if I had wanted 3.

Fuck yeah. Life is going to be hard enough without another mouth to feed. You only get benefits for two children.

Yes it would. I want to give my current children the best life start possible, and that means prioritising them, not me and someone who doesnt exist. And I would say the same to anyone with an accidental pregnancy now too.

Absolutely nuts to have more children than you can afford to feed. Your also taking the gamble of having twins.

Money could become really tight for an awful lot of people for a very long time.

Thanks for your reply. I'm talking no job at all, solely reliant on benefits. Partner doesn't work either. It's a mum at my child's school, who seems pleasant as far as I can tell but she seems to know how to play the system (if you know what I mean) she's having her 3rd baby which is of course lovely news but I couldn't help but think about the cost of living and all th fuel prices etc it made me feel a bit almost irritated that some people on decent wages will struggle yet some on benefits just keep plodding on.

If someone is on benefits (ie relying on taxpayers to pay for them) then it would be extremely irresponsible to have another child. Why should taxpayers' subsidise this lifestyle choice?

Bonkers. I figured if life got tough I’d always be able to beg, borrow or steal enough to feed two. More is more risk.

100% it would put me off. Respectively, why would you put your self and your 2 children through additional hardship?

I wouldn't choose to have one child if I was on benefits, never mind a third

ive never been in a position to play the system, can you explain what you mean ? How do people play the system?

We reluctantly made the decision to not (ever) have a third child a decade ago, we just realised that we we weren't ever going to be in a position financially to afford everything you need for a third (bigger house, bigger car, more childcare costs). We were both working full time and not uncomfortably off but a third would just have stretched things too far.

Absolutely it would, as someone who was raised by a single Mum on benefits and experienced poverty. It just would never be something I’d choose, especially considering the state of things at the moment.

I wouldn't do it personally but if that's what they want then good luck to them. Other than family allowance they won't get anymore UC after child 2.

Of course but then I don't understand why anyone has more than 2.

MN hates the 'play the system' comment but some people do do it. An example would be (in the old days) having your children spaced out so when one goes to school and you are expected to work you have another. Working the minimum hours to get max benefits. Where families have generations on benefits they get very used to maximising what they are 'entitled' to.

In some ways the system doesn't help ie when you earn above a certain amount your start quickly losing benefits. Imo there isn't a big enough difference between working and claiming benefits for low skilled workers.
This is esp true when you factor in the free school meals etc.

Yes, it would absolutely put me off.

Me and DH are both high earners (although probably not according to Mumsnet) and we have just welcomed our second child. The cost of living has resulted in us both agreeing that she will Unfortunately be our last.

Interesting to hear your replies. The mum
In question is very young so I'm wondering if that has a part to play with the decision making in having a 3rd child. I wish her well but I don't think I envy her. But then again maybe it's people on benefits etc that will be looked after while the bigger earners pay the price.

There is no way I would have three children if I couldn't afford it. Stress for everyone

@MrsR87 were the same. I have two older children, would have love a 3rd but it would make everything a big more of a squeeze and if I'm working full time I like to be able to have some luxuries to make it worth while. A 3rd child would mean we would be working hard to just live.

You don't get any extra benefits for a 3rd child, there's a benefit cap for 2 children.

I know a couple having their second child together. The mum already had 4 from previous relationships so sixth child altogether. The man works full time but in a low paid job. The mum doesnt work at all.

Me and dp are also in low paid jobs with one child and I can't even contemplate having two children let alone 6.

I guess some savings can be made reusing baby items and handing down toys and clothes but I think of the food costs, uniform costs and I wonder how they will cope tbh.

@TPL I honestly don't understand how the maths work. Even if you use 2nd hand/ yellow labels and do all the cost cutting possible, it's still a heck of a lot of money to find to fund everything.

There is always people in life who make decisions and you do wonder (judge even but judging doesn't have to be a negative thing) what made them come to that decision.

But sometimes, just sometimes - it genuinely was a situation they found themselves in rather than made iyswim?

2 cases I know.

Family in 2 bed council flat. 2 adults and 2 children. One works and they get UC credit top ups. Now have 6 children and are always going on about how council haven't moved them yet and they've been waiting 8 years. 3rd child is 7 as they applied when she got pg.
Failed contraception can happen - but apparently according to her all were planned and even said the 4th was to force them up the housing band.
I don't judge the decision to have 6 children but I judge the attitude that because she kept having more they should get moved quicker as a priority because they had suitable accommodation for the family size.

Other case is someone who lived in 2 bed house with 2 children and partner. Both worked. He left. She found out she was pg with twins 3 months after he left. She didn't plan it and didn't have any idea. She also was told she couldn't terminate as too far gone which was what she had intended to do. Now her and 4 children in a 2 bed house. Baby twins and an older one with disability.
I'm sure there are people who judge from the outside but this was a genuine case of life happening and not being able to make decisions that would prevent current situation. She also refuses to apply for bigger house as she is proud but really she does need a 4 bed. She also can't afford to return to work because of childcare costs for 2.

So I think sometimes you hear or see situations and they aren't slays what they look like. I also wonder if she truly planned a 3rd or it's happened and therefore you're getting the narrative she wants to put out there. The only thing with this is why neither work?

Yes absolutely!

How do you know about this woman’s finances? We’ve just had a third, in the last 2 weeks I’ve been asked twice if I’m the nanny. Embarrassing but goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover. I know nothing about benefits so what do you mean ‘play the system’?

But yes, if I was struggling for money i wouldn’t have a third.