Would the current climate and cost of living put you off having a 3rd child if you were on benefits?

[mugcup]

As about.what are your thoughts ?

Oh god, more Tory spads testing out ideas. Tedious.

The actual question in your op is a fair one but your subsequent posts with a mcdonalds comment thrown in are such judgey bollocks its clear the actual question isnt genuine tbh

Obviously the OP didn't get enough outrage from the first post, so has upped the ante with each subsequent post. Bit too much that they're hanging out at McDonalds.
Give over OP

It doesn't really sound like the op 'wishes her well'.

Also a bit awkward and cringe-worthy that this is in the bit for people to talk about their own personal contraception issues, that did make me chuckle.

@Batshittery exactly.

Op my mother-in-law was poor and on benefits and her FOURTH child was planned. Lowest of the low!

Same here. I don't understand some people.

However, op, it isn't you or anyone connected with you so best to try not to think about it There's nothing you can do.

I will be interested to see the answers before you posted this compared with afterwards…

OP,

Have you really started a thread to bash a 'mum at school' that you have no real knowledge about whatsoever????

Putting the feelers out for Liz Truss, more like. Her special advisor 'spad' couln't even get it in the right section of Mumsnet.

@SpinCityBlues probably true. It's happening a lot, on here and elsewhere.

Can you imagine how you would feel if someone you vaguely knew from school made a thread about you online to slag off your choices (the details of which they know nothing about)? It just seems pointlessly shitty

Not fully a zombie but just noticed this thread was getting old, whoops! Didn’t mean to revive it (ironically I was browsing family planning under the same misapprehension as the OP)

Not that it's possible to get benefits for a third child anyway (which is horrifying), or to receive benefits without being required to look for work, but even if these things were possible, perhaps some humans are more family-focused or love children, or find it fulfilling to have them rather than doing meaningless, stressful jobs to prop up wealthier people's lifestyles.
We live in an extraordinarily wealthy society so there is easily enough to go around if only people would share sensibly.
Personally I think of course people should be able to have children and that parenting is a full time job.
If you are upset about not being able to afford another child on your wages, perhaps go on strike, protest, get involved in political action, stand for election, campaign in whatever way you can for a more equal society. Don't blame people who are already stigmatised and marginalised for not being as well off.

Horrifying not to receive benefits for a 3rd child???

I'm sorry but if people can't afford 3 kids they shouldn't have them - historically people were having lots of children then the tax payer was footing the bill and this stopped and rightly so because it is unfair to 2 children working families who get no handouts.
Some people are just so entitled!

@Elfen why is it horrifying not to get benefits for a 3rd child?

People who get no benefits have to make family planning decisions based on finances.
Why shouldn't other people?
You can't exactly ask your boss for more money because you have more kids.

Top trolling

Go ahead. I'll just work a little harder, so my taxes can pay for your third child. I can't afford to have a third one despite wanting to. Mortgage, cars, travel to work, feeding my family... don't worry, knock yourself out/up at my expense.

It's alright @hewouldwouldnthe. No one is having a third child at your expense. It's a bunch of bullshit created to make you think that you are suffering because of poor people. It's not true.

Absolutely it would put me off. The welfare of existing children absolutely trumps the desire for a bigger family...

I don't think it is... it stopped being OK once OP phrased her actual post about someone ohhh very young but made the start sound all so generic.

What city do you live in... because there's been a shortage of houses where I live and has been for a good 10+ years near me. Private rents have shot right up even for a shitty house and I mean the inside condition not even the area. Schools are diabolical too people who have siblings can't get their kids all in the same school.

We are not in the 90s. Raising 3 kids today is far more expensive than it was in the 90s. I cannot understand this mentality and tbh its partly why the cap came into play and thank God. It is not fair on the poor children even if YOU don't mind.... "just making do"

Maybe I'm
Secretly bitter and twisted as I'm knackered with a massive workload at work and 50 million piles of ironing to tackle lol

Sounds like it. Not sure why you’re posting about someone else just to judge them and bitch about them. So what that she’s having a third. How does that impact your life in any way shape or form?

If it was third then no. Or even second. First probably yes. Having more than one kid isn’t really more expensive in my life though. We buy things second hand and we swap things amongst friends. We keep all our baby stuff so it’s a case of pull it out the lift and wash it. I even kept all my bottles and nappies which can be a bit wierd when your son is wearing My little pony nappy wraps but who cares? Childcare costs aren’t a factor for us and even less so when we were skint because we worked shifts and there are no nurseries open when you’re pulling pints at midnight. Formula would be the biggest cost for us but (I know I know bad mum 🙄) I wean at 4 months so it’s not for that long.

I grew up in poverty and I still live in the same area I grew up in so it’s manageable. There’s not really any pressure to keep up with others because nobody else has sod all either. Thankfully we’re a lot better off now but even if we weren’t it wouldn’t put me off more.

Just like everyone else on this thread I wouldn't but I can see why people do it.

If you were raised in poverty and you didn't think life was that bad - maybe your mum raised multiple children on benefits, perhaps you enjoyed being part of a big family and have never really considered what life might be like on the other side, for others who have mortgages, cars, holidays, uni fees to pay for. If these things were never really on your radar at all. Maybe you see your self worth and identity tied in with being a mum, especially if a professional career was so far out of reach? Maybe you love being a mum and you just hope the money will come from somewhere. There are plenty of people who choose to have children in difficult and complex circumstances and asking a (largely) middle class, educated group of parents what they would do doesn't really shed much light.

I don't think playing the system is a big factor in deciding to have more children than you can comfortably afford. Most people on benefits have seen them decrease in relative terms in recent years. I think the reasons are more emotional and generational.