Please help, i've never felt so desperate

[IHaveBeenSoStupid]

I'm really concerned I might be pregnant. I'm a fucking idiot.

Had unprotected sex recently (although he did withdraw in plenty of time, I do know this is still a big risk though)

I'm such an idiot. I already have one child. I was made a single parent (not my choice) over a year ago, and was stupidly flattered by someone showing an interest in me. I was drunk, so was he.

I need to wait another week before I can test to be sure. But I've had cramping almost constantly.

I feel like this is the end of my world.
What are my options? I absolutely cannot have another baby now, I have worked so, so hard to build a new life for me and my young child, and i just can't afford another baby.
I feel absolutely awful about it - my ex left us a week after I miscarried a year ago. I desperately wanted that baby now I'm considering terminating a pregnancy. What is wrong with me?

Is medical abortion quicker than surgical option?
I've booked a wonderful holiday for me and my child at the beginning of august, our first on our own. If I have to cancel this, I'll be devastated.

Can anyone advise what kind of time frame I'm looking at with these options?

Please don't judge me, I already hate myself for how incredibly stupid I've been.

I'm being STI tested soon too, incase I get flamed for that

And thank you sock for your all your fab advice

How are you op?

Hi,
Thank you for asking after me.

I'm not doing too great. I'm due on Thursday, been cramping quite badly pretty continually and had some light bleeding start yesterday which I'm convinced is implantation bleeding.

Took a test yesterday which was negative, I know it's too early though.

I go on holiday 3 weeks today, I'm so worried that if the worst does happen, I won't be able to sort this mess out in time.

Feeling so angry with myself

Bleeding has tapered off now. I'm due on on in 2 days. It must be implantation bleeding??

I'm really freaking out now. If I go to the docs tomorrow for a blood test, will it show up, or is it still too soon?

I'm completely on my own and so scared.
How quickly can I deal with this if it is the worst case scenario?
Will they make me wait until they can see anything on a scan?

I can't believe this is happening

Take a deep breath. As of yet, nothing has been confirmed. The pregnancy tests that you buy in the chemist are more sensitive than the ones in the GP's. There is a first response test that is super sensitive and should be able to tell you - is it up to 5 days before your period is due? Get one of those tomorrow and see what it says. If you get a positive result, then plan the next stage straight away. 3 weeks is a long time away yet.

I took a test on Sunday and one this morning which were both negative.
I'm going to test again tomorrow morning. (All Clear Blue tests)

After the cramping for a week and spotting for 3 days, its just the classic signs isn't it?

I just need to know this won't spoil my sons holiday. This is such a big thing for us as a two. I feel like such a shit mum

I don't think of those symptoms as classic signs. I think you're letting your fear run away with you because it's far far more likely that you're not pregnant.

I really hope you keep on getting negative tests and you can put this behind you.

Hi OP, I didn't want to read and run.

You sound really scared, but whatever the result is tomorrow morning (and it could well be negative!) you will have options.

When I had my abortion I found I that I was pregnant at 4 weeks. They couldn't give me an appointment (surgical) until I was about 8 weeks (I don't remember why, and the medical may well be different, but I chose surgical). I had a holiday booked and went anyway. I came back, and had the abortion a week later.

There won't be any reason for you to cancel your holiday, whatever you decide.

Thank you for your kindness and well wishes xxx

I just don't feel right. Cramping has been going on for about 10 days now. The spotting was light and pink for 2 days, and then just stopped. I've never had that before a period before.

I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself for the worst so I can deal with it as quickly as possible.

I don't think I could go through with a surgical abortion. I had a very traumatic delivery with my son, resulting in PTSD and the thought of a procedure like that terrifies me.
I've been frantically googling timeframes of medical abortions but can't seem to get a definitive answer

Thank you again for being so kind. It's a real comfort xxx

ok op. im finding this hard to read as someone desperate for a bfp but get FRER. first response early results. it will tell you up to 6 dys before your period is due.
best of luck x

i had to have a TMFR at 15 weeks.

do it early if your going to do it.

No one is going to judge you. Most of us have been there. Did the prolapse appointment have any helpful advice? Were you able to ask them about it?

I want to do it as soon as possible. This is why I'm so upset about it all.

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience x

I lost a baby 18 months ago. A much wanted baby.
Believe me I am not taking this lightly.
Through circumstances beyond my control I am now in a position where I cannot consider having another baby.
I wish desperately things were different, but they're not

good luck sweetheart. x

I didn't mention it at the prolapse appointment.
The appt didn't go well for other reasons, and I got upset so didn't to want to bring up something else that would make me more stressed

Unfortunately they will make you wait for a surgical or medical termination. I attended at 4+5 and they made me come back a week later for the procedure.

They need to make sure the pregnancy is in the right place before they do anything. Bleeding went on for 3 weeks post.

Really hope you get a negative test and can look forward to your holiday.

Pregnancy tests are quite accurate nowadays. You are unlikely to be pregnant particularly since you have bled.
If you do discover you are pregnant the simplest thing is to call BPAS helpline number off their website. You do not need a referral and going via your GP slows things down. You can have an early medical abortion (tablets or pessary) up to 9 +4 weeks. At this stage the doses can be given simultaneously. A slightly later medical abortion will need two visits at least 24 hours apart.
You have the choice re surgical or medical until much later gestation. Not all centres offer surgical abortions which are usually under conscious sedation or with no anaesthetic. General anaesthetic is used less often.
Treatment should take place within 5 days of initial contact - although both MSI and BPAS do not always meet the target.

Thank you so much for all your helpful advice and information
I think a Marie Stopes clinic is closest for me, so hoping they follow similar time frames.
I'll keep testing and hope for the best

Thank you all again, you're wonderful x

Try not to work yourself up too much. You're probably not pregnant, and even so, you have choices. Options. Plenty of time. Ways to work it around your important holiday. You haven't done anything wrong, stop blaming yourself. We've all been there at some point in our lives. Try to think logically, the main thing is you will not be having a baby this time and you will be able you go away on holiday.

Marie Stopes has same time frame - it's set by DoH. They have a 24 hour central call centre - one call - and will do initial consultation over the phone then book appointment at local clinic for treatment.

Medical is absolutely nothing to be scared about especially as you'll be so early. I know people who found out they were pregnant on a Thursday and by the next week had already taken one of the pills. Please don't panic, you have tons of options. And if you are pregnant it's so so early still. We all make mistakes, go easy on yourself

Hi OP. How are things today? I hope you get the outcome you want

Hi, I took another test yesterday morming, which was negative, then started bleeding very heavily a few hours later.

The bleeding has got worse this morning, I actually think this is an early miscarriage. There are a lot of clots and it is very very heavy, very similar to my last miscarriage.

I guess my body took care of it for me.
Feeling quite emotional though.

Thank you all for your fabulous help and kind words.
This thread has been a huge support over the past week or so xXxX

I'm glad you've got the outcome you wanted.

As a post script: you chose to post this in the contraception topic. But you said you had unprotected intercourse. One thing you need to do it get sorted now with a method you are happier to rely on.