Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Family planning

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

dh wanting me to be sterilized...

38 replies

Pendipidy · 15/06/2013 15:04

Hi., i am 41 and have two kids with my dh. He has 3 others with 2 other women (may not be relevant).
I do not want any more kids and neither does he . He is not happy about having vasectomy because he doesn't want to go through the pain.

I do not want major surgery having either a hysterectomy or being sterilized. His argument for either or both is that my periods are abnormal and it would solve two problems at once.

My periods i would say are pretty normal. I have moderate pain on the first day or two and then bearable tummy ache for the next couple of days. Maybe once every six months i get more pain but i almost always carry on looking after dc and house etc.
On those days if he is home i appreciate lying in bed for a couple of hours while pain killers take effect and just taking it easy that day. If he is not home , i just carry on as normal. They are not so bad that i can't.

Can you guys please let me know what your periods are like and if not you think he is being unreasonable always suggesting this.
I would have put this in AIBU but i couldn't find it!
I Will show my dh the replies., if any!

I just can't see the point in me having such major surgery because he is being a wuss.!

OP posts:

whosiwhatsit · 15/06/2013 15:45

He's a selfish arse indeed but as a practical suggestion for you, how about a Mirena coil? Birth control, no periods or at the very least lighter ones (for most women), easy for the doc to insert and stays in for five years.

whosiwhatsit · 15/06/2013 15:46

Oops or what K8middleton said. Other practical suggestion is LTB!

Thumbwitch · 15/06/2013 15:47

^AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Sat 15-Jun-13 15:09:55
Your DH is a dick. You've pushed out two babies and he's afraid of a vasectomy? Tell him to get the snip and, while he's having that done, perhaps the doctor could attach a pair of balls?!^

This. Oh, this.

And tell him that he can shove the idea of you having abdominal surgery up his arse at the same time.

IAgreeCompletely · 15/06/2013 16:00

Having your tubes tied is a very minor OP. I was knocked out for half an hour and the actual 'OP' takes 7 minutes. There was a tiny bit of period pain type discomfort. I didn't take any extra painkillers over whatever they used during the keyhole surgery.
I was only in hospital for a few hours. I made the most of it and didnt do anything in the evening and had a quiet day the following day but it didnt hurt at all and it was great knowing that it was instantly effective.
I know everyone reacts differently to anesthetic and I know everyone will havea different experience of the operation but it wasn't an issue for me at all.

I would have chosen to have a local anaesthetic if I had realised how quick and easy it is.

Your DHs attitude stinks though

Eastpoint · 15/06/2013 16:11

Iagreecompletely I agree with you - had my tubes tied & it was a really minor op. No risk of getting pg again, with a vasectomy they have to have 26 (from what I recall) ejaculations before they are infertile & they should then also get their ejaculate tested. I had 2 days lounging around after I had mine done on the basis I needed to rest. My periods haven't changed at all since the op. There is a tiny scar in my belly button & there was another scar about 7mm long in my pubic region. Both are completely invisible now.

Original poster

Pendipidy · 15/06/2013 21:26

Thanks for all your replies. I Will show my dh and see what he says!

OP posts:

ITCouldBeWorse · 15/06/2013 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 15/06/2013 21:35

He's a prick. So tell him to use condoms. Every time. From now till menopause.

expatinscotland · 15/06/2013 21:36

'Having your tubes tied is a very minor OP. I was knocked out for half an hour and the actual 'OP' takes 7 minutes. There was a tiny bit of period pain type discomfort. I didn't take any extra painkillers over whatever they used during the keyhole surgery.'

That's not a guarantee. Some people do not share that experience.

TrinityRhino · 15/06/2013 21:38

he sounds like a bit of a twat
sorry but why would he want you to have an op when you dont to

if he doesn't then ok, condoms

expatinscotland · 15/06/2013 21:39

And NO ONE is going to perform an elective hysterectomy on you just because your husband finds your periods annoying.

IAgreeCompletely · 16/06/2013 11:36

Expat

You quoted the first bit of my post but ignored the next sentance where I said...

I know everyone reacts differently to anesthetic and I know everyone will havea different experience of the operation but it wasn't an issue for me at all

TheFuzz · 17/06/2013 11:10

A vasectomy is a simple procedure, in and out in 30 minutes maximum. If he is worried, then I would advise going for a general as he won't know what's going on, and also check the surgeon out - i.e. you don't want anyone not experienced - really !

There is a 1 in 10 risk of long term pain - I have fallen into this category and need surgery to attempt to fix it.

Your partner sounds terrible, sorry.

Flip

1 2