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Family planning

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Original poster

What's the diaphragm or cap like?

21 replies

nosextoday · 03/01/2012 11:05

Am at my wits end trying to find a contraception that works for us

We don't have sex a lot so I only need something for every now and again. Can't take hormones due to depression and weight gain. Don't want another coil. Don't want merina either. Condoms make him lose his erection as he's getting older now. Sterilisation would be best but he won't get a vasectomy.

I am now wondering about getting a cap or diaphragm.

Any experiences of these?

OP posts:

Scoundrel · 03/01/2012 11:07

Yes, I got pregnant using mine but don't let that put you off

Original poster

nosextoday · 03/01/2012 11:09

What went wrong?

OP posts:

Bucharest · 03/01/2012 11:10

I had one back in the day, when dinosaurs walked these shores....it was a bloody faff, lying on the bathroom floor, legs akimbo, trying to get the bugger in the right place. I also turned out (after about 6 bouts of thrush in as many months) to be allergic to all the spermicide you have to use.

But don't let that put you off!

You also get to find out if you have a fanny like a bucket. ("ooooh," said the doctor, "it's a while since I've seen one this long!")

Original poster

nosextoday · 03/01/2012 11:13

that's funny. I manage okay with my mooncup. I don't mind faffing around. I'll make an appointment for next week and talk to the FP doc.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 03/01/2012 11:19

Ahhh, well, I am the Mner who made it to the Talk RoundUp because of my (almost) do-it-yourself hysterectomy with a mooncup.

Good luck!

Himalaya · 03/01/2012 11:29

Yes I had one a long time ago too.

They are a bit of a faff (somewhat more than mooncup because of spermicidal jelly) and can be a passion killer of impromptu sex.

The advice I was given was "put it in everynight, like brushing your teeth" which seemed frankly, ridiculous.

If your sex life involves fairly predictable "date nights" then it may work for you, it's worth a try, you can always use it to keep spare change in, if it doesn't work for you

Original poster

nosextoday · 03/01/2012 11:39

spare change.

Bucharest did it pull your insides down with the suction effect? That is quite scary.

OP posts:

Scoundrel · 03/01/2012 11:43

What went wrong?

Well, I can't be certain but having used it with no problem for several years they stopped making the spermicidal jelly I always used. I got a different kind and bang! Three weeks later i was upduffed

QueenStromba · 03/01/2012 14:04

Diaphragms have a very high failure rate - wiki. How about you getting sterilised? It's not a major operation for a woman anymore due to advances in keyhole surgery - they just make a small incision at your belly button and a slightly larger one at your pubic line. I think it's even day surgery. Or there is a new method called Essure where they go in through the cervix and place inserts into your fallopian tubes. There aren't many doctors who do it yet so it can be a bit of a faff getting to see one of them. I've got a consultation next week for it though so I can give you the details of how I managed it if you like?

Original poster

nosextoday · 03/01/2012 22:07

Thanks QueenStromba I've been looking at essure. Somebody in my neighbouring health authority does it. I'd rather be sterilised tbh but they're rationing female sterilisations these days. They tend to fob people off with the merina from what I understand

OP posts:

Honeydragon · 03/01/2012 22:13

apparently the high failure rate is bathroom shelf related

I used the cap sucessfully for 5 years, I had to get my spermicide online from the states though as the uk stuff is awful. When it did fail it was my fault we were very very drunk

Sidge · 03/01/2012 22:15

Diaphragms are fiddly.

Also can be hard to find a doctor/nurse experienced in fitting them, and if your weight is prone to fluctuating you'd need refitting.

They're not very spontaneous but if your sex life is rather predictable that may not be too much of a problem!

BasilRathbone · 03/01/2012 22:23

It's only about 1% failure isn't it?

I had one, thought thyey wer great

But they can cause bladder infections, in the end I switched to a cap because it's smaller and less pressure on your bladder. However, fiddlier and more difficult to fit.

jennifersofia · 03/01/2012 22:27

We have used one for 18 years and 3 dc (all planned) and it has been fine. It can be a bit fiddly to put in and get out, but not really an issue once you get the hang of it. I do like the fact that it is less invasive than other types of contraception. It can feel like a bit of a passion killer to spontaneous sex, but not more so than a condom. You can always put it in earlier if you are 'in the mood', and then there isn't the interruption.

QueenStromba · 04/01/2012 16:33

When I first talked to my GP about it she suggested the mirena but didn't try to pressure me into it when I told her I didn't want one because I had a bad reaction to the implant. She referred me to the consultant (for the surgical procedure rather than essure) who I had to be a bit firmer with about it but she dropped it too and agreed in principle to do the procedure as long as I lost 2.5 stone. If a sterilisation is what you want then it's definitely worth trying to get your GP to refer you.

kittydinner · 20/01/2012 21:27

This is fab info ladies I am trying to make a decision about coming off hormonal contraception all together because of cervical erosion. Stupid question I know, but what is the spermicide like? Is it like KY jelly (old school!) or a cream or what?

fiddlydee · 20/02/2012 11:50

Hi girls. I have been reading this thread with interest. I need contraception but I want to avoid anything with hormones as I suffer from depression and any hormone changes have a big impact. Obviously that rules out a lot of options. My husband is not keen on the idea of the snip and condoms are not ideal for us. Does anyone know of any other options? I did wonder about the diaphragm but was told it is not really used any more (mostly due to high failure rates). I hadn't really considered sterilisation myself as I thought it was very drastic but having read this thread, perhaps it is not such a big thing? Any thoughts and experiences appreciated.

McHappyPants2012 · 22/02/2012 15:53

My husband has had the snip, but on my fertile day I also use this I was fiddly at first, but you do get used to it.

Op there is always the female condom aswell you could use

Casablancagirl · 22/02/2012 16:01

I have bipolar depression/mania but I would still seriously recommend the implant. I've had a cap and it was a total nightmare - both you and he can feel it. Or maybe I was putting it in wrong.... My new man has had the snip so not really an issue but I've moved back onto the combined pill again as I want to be able to control my periods just now as we are having a particularly healthy sex life just now!! And I'm on as much mood stabilising meds as you can get your paws on, am mid 40s and have a child....And have been through the Mooncup experience.....

DorothyGherkins · 22/02/2012 21:39

Only just spotted this thread, but thought I would add my two pennyworth! I used my cap over ten years, and I loved it! I have never minded faffing about down there, after the initial 'I cant do this' could just squeeze it in half and flip it up there! Never experienced any discomfort with it, never had any reaction to any of the spermicides, gel or cream. In my day there was a clear gel, yes, like KY, and a creamy silk spermicide which I preferred. Never got pregnant with it, although I was fanatical about applying the recommended amount of spermicide to both sides of the diaphragm, and inserting the required time before intercourse. (You just had to be very strict about the timing, but usually I put it in quite regularly at bedtime, if they was the slightest chance!) After washing it, I left it by the bath on a few occasions, when my youngest daughter pulled it into the bath with her to play 'boats' and pushed her fingers through it! (Had to get a new one.) The pill never suited me, I seemed to try all of them, and they all had some sort of side effect which I couldnt come to terms with. And as my partner worked away from home a lot, it did seem stupid to constantly pump my system full of hormones unnecessarily. After ten years, I got sterilised, and to be honest, I wished I had done it years earlier, no more hormones to ingest, and a carefree spontaneous love life. So yes, I d recommend both the diaphragm, and once you're sure your family is complete, female sterilisation.

MsWeatherwax · 22/02/2012 21:57

There is at least one study about using the diaphragm without spermicide - apparently it doesn't affect the stats much as all the faffing around with spermicide puts people off so that they they don't bother putting it in, which gets counted as part of the effectiveness rates. I use a mooncup and I found the diaphragm took some getting used to, but I had to teach myself (didn't get it fitted by a doctor/nurse). And I find it really easy to put in now I've got the hang of it.

You could look at fertility awareness as well perhaps? More of a faff - take your temp when you wake up, check your cervical fluid and keep a record of it. But it can be great for knowing when's safe and when's not.

Also I don't think anyone's mentioned withdrawal - if he has good control and pulls out in plenty of time and assuming he pees between ejaculations then it's actually not a bad method. Plus you can use it and change to condoms at the last minute which can work for some men in terms of not losing the erection from the condom by that point.

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