OK, I'm trembling. This is my first post and it's a beauty. I'm probably not yout typical mumsnetter though for family interest reasons I've lurked for a while. Oh, ignore my screen name. It comes from my excessive aran knitting habit. Yes, cardigans. Have you felt the weight of an aran jumper as you knit it up? At least cardigans have 2 fronts, half the weight. Only 1 back of course but hey, all's never perfect!
I'll try to act my age (OK, I'm mid-40's. Confession time but I like a joke) and use the right terminology:
After almost 3 years on my own I finally grew closer to a friend and we decided to go a little further. The big night was planned for last night and we .... well, you know.
Anyway, I'd already had a bit of a grope and was quite pleased with what I discovered but when we got undressed and "ready" he had grown past normal to "huge" in the trouser department. If I gripped him my hand wouldn't close. Natually, after donkey's years with an average sized husband I was looking forward to what new experiences lay ahead of me. I'd been out for fresh supplies a few days earlier, hoping for this to progress and climbed over him on the bed to get the condoms out of my cardi pocket, lying on the floor (like you do!). Careless of me to discard my stuff like that, I know - but I was as keen as he was!
Because of his size and shape, I couldn't get one onto him without a struggle; he has a long foreskin which won't retract on it's own (not too tight, just very long and easily mobile. It still covers his glans when erect). With my ex it was easy, foreskin back almost by itself, hold it back and roll the condom down but not this one. we both pulled his foreskin back, and I went to apply the condom but it was quite a tight fit, width wise over his glans. Once it was on all the way, the foreskin rolled back by itself part way and the base of the condom was nowhere near the base of his penis.
In a nutshell (sorry!!!) his penis looked like a sausage ready to burst out of its skin and he said it felt like it may get painful as things progressed! I decided to call the whole thing off, just in case we had an accident and we amused each other in different ways. He seems quite good!
I use condoms, they've worked well for me for over 26 years and now as much as ever they're needed for safe sex AND birth control, so I'm not doing without them. He can't help because he has never used them before, so doesn't have a brand preference etc.
Cheeky, I know but can anybody offer guidance in the size department? He's back tomorrow night and I'm out buying some more suitable ones tomorrow. And lots more lube!!!! I'm getting excited.
And can anybody use 11 Durex Featherlight? never raced or rallied, one careful owner etc lol.
Despite the light hearted nature, this is a serious query. I'd really appreciate your imput. Thanks.