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Family planning

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Original poster

Female Steralisation- GP says no.

25 replies

funmother · 26/12/2010 19:46

Hello.
I have wanted to be steralised since the birth of my youngest (and final) child in 2004.
Ever since my 6 weeks check, i have been going to the GP every year to ask about the possibility of being steralised, but he always says no he wont refer me because i am a single parent.
OK, i may be single, but i'm not stupid! He says "what if you meet Mr Right and want more children with him". Well, if he really is Mr Right, he wont want any more kids!

So what can i do to change his mind? He wont refer me to anyone and seems to fob me off every time i mention it!

Could i get a second opinion about this from another GP?

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 26/12/2010 19:48

Yes - or go to a Family Planning Clinic. They are more likely to be amenable because they deal with these things day in, day out. And I think your GP is being an arse. For some people they know it's right and he's actually being obstructive. Is he the only doctor there? Go and see another GP or go to an FPC instead. :)

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 19:51

Thanks for your reply Whomovedmychocolate (and great username too!!).
I think he is being an arse as well.

I didnt know that FPCs could arrange this either?

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 26/12/2010 19:58

Oh yes, they can do anything relating to sexual health or fertility - not a lot of people realise but if you think about it - they refer for terminations etc. You just need to go along and see one of their doctors.

If you are under 30 they may well suggest the coil as another option though. But if you stick to your guns and explain that you have tried your GP (who is an idiot) they will refer you.

Perhaps your GP thinks he's in with a chance with you?

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 20:04

Hahahaha...i wish!!

I am 31, so hopefully they will say yes to the steralisation.
Thanks again.

OP posts:

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2010 20:07

Your body, your choice. You can definetly ask for a second opinion.

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 20:09

Thanks Viva, thats my view as well. I am really amazed that they have the right to decline my request.
TBH i thought they would be all for LPs to be steralised, but obviously not.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 26/12/2010 20:12

how ridiculous, it is not your GP's decision to make.

I would see someone else and insist on a referral.

I would also complain about him. He cannot refuse to refer you for this simply because he has decided that you might meet someone and want children in the future

expatinscotland · 26/12/2010 20:15

What thisis said, entirely.

This man is being completely unprofessional.

DEMAND to see another one or book an appointment at your nearest family planning clinic and don't let them fob you off with a Mirena coil if it's not what you want.

Oblomov · 26/12/2010 20:36

Agreed. Ridiculous and unprofessional. Being sterilised was fab for me.

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 20:47

Thanks Ladies.
Definately going to get a 2nd opinion by going to the FPC.
Oblomov- can i ask how long your recovery time was please?

OP posts:

overthehillmum · 26/12/2010 21:04

Hi, I have actually joined to reply to your posting, I have been lurking about for a while. I got sterilised when I was 24, a year after my second child, I had asked to be sterilised immediately after the birth of my second but the doctor wouldn't agree, I asked to be referred to the hospital consultant and she eventually agreed. I explained that although I was young (23 at the time) I knew my own mind and that churning our children to please any potential future partners wasn't an option (I told the consultant that I was going to be splitting up from my husband), I am now 42 and have never once regretted my decision, I went on to divorce my husband, hold down a full time job, attain a degree studying part time, best decision I ever made.

I took 2 days to recover, I had a bit of a reaction to anesthetic and had to stay in overnight and my shoulder and stomach were sore, something to do with air being pumped into me..!!

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 21:12

Overthehillmum- thanks! I only joined today too.
when you say it only took you2 days to recover, does that mean you were able to drive,look after your kids etc after those 2 days?

OP posts:

MrsLucasNorthPole · 26/12/2010 21:12

I suspect your GP may be fobbing tyou off for budgetary reasons as much as anything.

When I went to mine about 18 months back to see if I could be sterilised (as DH wouldn't consider having the snip), he told me that our LHA will only sanction female sterilisation on the NHS if the woman in question has no other options of birth control available to her whatsoever due to allergies, medical history etc, maily for money reasons but also as it is a more complicated op than the male option.

As it turns out I am unable to have it done anyway due to having had 2 previous lots of abdominal surgery, and I am very happy with my Mirena coil.

From your point of view though I would definitely get a second opinion, if it's just your GP's verdict of your potential personal life preventing him from referring you he is indeed being a twat!

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 21:15

Thanks MLNP- i did start thinking about it being to do with budgeting, for for 6 years???? Surely not?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 26/12/2010 21:17

Just keep pushing for it.

They'll try to get you to get a Mirena. If you don't want one, just tell them you had one in the past and it gave you hella side effects.

Stick to your guns.

Oblomov · 26/12/2010 21:20

I found the recovery time, quite long. Was a big shock.
I had had 2 cs's before. I should have been sterilised at my second cs, but they apologoised for it not happening.
It wasn't as long as a cs recovery, but not short of it. I was well out of sorts for atleast a couple of weeks. In the first few days I felt like someone had been , fiddling around with 'all me inners', like I'd been beaten up inside.
Pain killers were good. And within a week and a half I was pretty much back to normal.
I am sure people vary as to how long their recovery is. I think it was just a bit of a shock, as to how awful I felt. I underestimated it. My dh was quite shocked.

Hope yours is better.

whomovedmychocolate · 26/12/2010 21:22

funmother - are you assuming it means open surgery, these days tubal ligation is done through laporoscopically so there is no big cut just a few portholes (three I think). Tubal ligation costs about £8k max. A pregnancy, childbirth and healthcare of a baby for the first year costs about £15k. It's maths for the stupid to consider the budgets.

eviscerateyourmemory · 26/12/2010 21:25

Just as a thought, have you considered the coil?

There is a copper coil that last 10 years, so if you are 31 then you could just be looking at 2 coil fittings, which should be easier than a GA for sterilisation.

There is also Essure which is quick and doesnt need a GA, though I dont think it is widely available on the NHS.

SantaIsMyLoveSlave · 26/12/2010 21:25

I thought of budgeting too they are far keener on male sterilisation because it's cheaper (and, to be fair, also more minor surgery so in many cases a more appropriate option for a couple but in your case as a LP that's not relevant).

Original poster

funmother · 26/12/2010 21:26

Thanks WMMC, i know its laporoscopical but i have never had an op done (apart from my CS 10 yrs ago).
I am hoping that the recovery time will be only a couple of weeks, but am going to research that side of it a bit more.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 26/12/2010 21:28

I was offered a tubal ligation under and epidural last year. Then they changed their mind when they saw the shitheap of meshes holding my middle together thanks to a caesarian which did not go well

We've still not resolved it in my case but they have said I can have one if I am prepared to go for a full laporotomy

Recovery time for TL by laporoscopy is five days, dissolvable stitches, drive after 24 hours and exercise after two weeks unless there are complications or infection.

overthehillmum · 26/12/2010 21:29

Hi, I unfortunately had a very unsympathetic husband, he caused a major fuss in the hospital when he found out I wasn't getting out that night and had to watch the kids, my MIL couldn't help out as she was going shopping the next day,so I just had to get on with it...(mm..you can tell why I got divorced, lol) I was very sore the day after I got out of the hospital, my son jumped on my stomach and I was in a bit of pain, but the following day I could move about, I think I didn't drive for about 3 days, it was keyhole surgery and I had no scars, I felt like I had bad wind for about a week as well and like Oblomov said my insides felt a bit off....but I was young and I think it helps....and I sat in the living room with my two kids and let them watch Telly for the two days...

whomovedmychocolate · 26/12/2010 21:31

I think they are keener on male sterilisation also because a man can impregnate any number of women whereas a woman is limited in that women have brains enough to correlate the sex with the baby and not let it keep happening.

Not that all men are feckless, some of them are also dead

onimolap · 26/12/2010 21:32

It's pretty common in the NHS (to the point of being the norm) to refuse referral for patients under age 30. It's not budgetary; there are (shamefully) some vague paternalistic ideas still kicking about; but there is some also evidence that under 30s are more likely to seek reversal (despite the considerable and convincing determination they must have shown to have secured the operation earlier than 30).

That said - the evidence, such as it is, is illustrative of the population as a whole, not the individual. There is no budgetary or other absolute bar to the operation at a young age. You can see a second GP for family planning matters, go to the FPA or Marie Stopes.

expatinscotland · 26/12/2010 21:37

DH got snipped and he was 32 when he had it done (we have three kids, I have ongoing mental health issues which originally began as AND/PND, can't use other forms of birth controls but condoms, and we have a child with severe dyspraxia and a host of other learning disorders). He got in for it no bother.

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