Poolside chat- continues here 😁

[Glittertwins]

Did I get this done right??

Good luck to all those competing today.

I hope your DD finds a decent uni team or nearby club madcats - do you think she'll stop racing or just won't be racing near you?

Hopefully she'll get to do BUCS?

Yes. I don't know that she necessarily wants to go back to 10+ hours/week and competing each weekend. She runs a bit so I think she'll probably slip sideways into Triathlon. That's if she isn't hiking or offshore sailing or rowing.....

The clubs seem very different in terms of "time investment".

As an aside, we've a fair few Bath Uni swimmers down here competing in Age Group champs (I don't ever remember Unis at Counties or Regionals before). Unsurprisingly most of the 17/18 year olds aren't making the 18+ finals.

Bath Uni will be using it for LC practice as they don't do regionals

Are you sure it's Bath Uni or is it "Team Bath"? There are a couple of Bath swimming clubs. Team Bath trains at the university, but it's local teenagers, not university students.

Deffo the Uni team. Team Bath (Aqua Sullis) are the under 18's; these swimmers were racing under the name Bath University Swim Club. I'd heard of one of the older swimmers (must be a post grad) as one of our old club swimmers competes in similar races. I'm not sure that she is in the Performance Centre, which also trains in Bath's 50m pool.

I really don't remember seeing any in the past (but DD did point out that we skipped Counties last year). I would have thought that there were plenty of LC Meets in Bristol and Millfield (even if you do need to be organised enough to apply almost as soon as the meet pack is released).

There are always loads of uni swimmers at our counties. But more boys than girls.

We don't get many at counties other than those at the 3 main city unis who swim at the city clubs so are swimming under the club.

We do get Surrey Uni swimmers at regionals and they are generally extremely good as they are a performance centre with LC pool. We've got some really good clubs and performance centres in our region which makes for a tough competition but that probably is beneficial long term!

Can anyone recommend a good tech suit repair service? My DD has a small tear in her racing suit which I think should be easy to repair. I see Allens offer a service but would be really grateful for any other recommendations. Many thanks in advance.

Neil Ednie is supposed to be good.

Yea, we've used Neil. Scroll down the thread to the beginning of January posts to find website details

He also fixes on-site whereas Allen's send them away. My race suit was back home with me within 3 days of sending it off

Ah, that’s brilliant @Glittertwins and @Hellocatshome - thanks for the recommendation, I really appreciate it!

If you were me/my DS what would you do in this situation?

DS14 currently at a 'big' club. Many friendship issues that have gone on for a long time, welfare are useless and DS now has 1 friend who also only has DS as their friend. They are ignored or worse by every other child. Coaches claims they don't see anything happen despite me witnessing first hand nasty comments being made right in front of coach. Alongside this the amount of sessions that are compulsory is getting out of hand, favourites of the coach are allowed to miss sessions everyone else is threatened with being dropped if they don't make every session

Starting to feel like DS is just there to pay his fees to keep the costs down for a select few.

He could ...

A) move to another 'big' club in the area as a sideways move. This would not be appreciated by current club but at this point who cares. However current club swimmers will have a lot of influence over other club swimmers and may mean bullying issues follow him.

B) move to smaller club, less sessions so less stress coming up to GCSE year. This will be seen by others as a backwards step but again I'm not bothered about that. Unlikely to be any kids there that can be influenced by current club kids in terms of bullying. But the coaching and less sessions may not benefit DS swimming however he isn't making the Olympics so does it matter that much?

C) stay where he is but move to less pressured squad. Would still have friendship issues but wouldn't be under as much stress with squad expectations. But this will definitely be seen as failure in eyes of other swimmers and the coaches. The squad he could move to is seen as a squad for those who couldn't cut it.

I think in terms of moving clubs people should be able to do what is right for them. It says a lot about the culture if this is made into an issue.

We’re small club people, there are major advantages plus he’d be an absolute star I don’t doubt if he came to our club! Plus it is surprising that very often going to bigger clubs doesn’t always magically make swimmer hugely faster from what I’ve observed.

The kids sound awful if they would try to continue bullying after he’d left.

I think in terms of moving clubs people should be able to do what is right for them. It says a lot about the culture if this is made into an issue.

Very well put.

It's the same with swimmers who want to swim less and do other stuff or while studying - it shouldn't be seen as a backwards step.

Swimming is all consuming - especially for those attaining and aiming for national competitions. For some people this is fine because they love and thrive in this environment.

It's not for everyone.

In fact I'd say it's not for a greater number of swimmers than it is iyswim?!

We've had many swimmers who have decided to move from national to regional squads. Based on many reasons including flexibility to do other stuff. There is an expectation in our national squads you attend all the sessions in your programme (illness etc aside) but there's no expectation you commit to the national squad if that isn't for you.

If he wants the other big club I'd give it a go. There's no reason why there will be bullies there as they may have an amazing welfare team and coaches who put a stop to it.

If he wants to cut down on his swimming - at least through gcse years then there's nothing wrong with changing clubs for a better environment to a smaller one where he'll do less hours.

But most importantly I'm very sorry your young man is being bullied and those who should be protecting him aren't.

I'd be moving. Bullying is NOT on. You could escalate to county welfare if the club is being useless but that said I wouldn't go to ours because they as much use as a chocolate teapot. If I hear anything on poolside that could be construed as over the line, I say something.
Why would current club swimmers continue to exert influence over another clubs? That doesn't sound healthy, do you know anyone at that other club to ask?

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. @Glittertwins it's because there are friendship groups (that DS isn't in obviously) that cross clubs so I think the current club swimmers would influence the new club swimmers behaviour towards DS.

It's a very tricky one because DS is very close to his 1 friend so I can see him not wanting to leave at all but then it's so heartbreaking on the occasions his friend isn't there to see him so isolated.

Our club welfare is horrendous and mostly staffed by the parents of the bullies, County welfare is useless and the coaches fall over backwards for a handful of swimmers and everyone else is invisible to them.

DS is in a fragile place mentally otherwise I wouldn't give him any options and take him out with immediate effect but unfortunately I think that would actually make things worse for him.

It sounds like he needs to make the choice but equally there's the whole school and exam thing which is more important. Maybe let him know you'll back his decision and see how he feels?

Yes I am planning to have a chat with him and let him know there are options if he doesn't want to stick with how things are. I think he thinks the only option is stay as is or quit completely.

There will definitely have to be changes next year when he is in year 11 as swimming clashes with the after school exam revision classes.

Sorry to hear your DS having friendship issues at the club.

Have you discussed the possibility of moving clubs with DS?

It might be worth having some trial sessions with both the big club and the small club, so he can see / feel the difference.

Probably worth asking both clubs what their session attendance expectations are too.

Sometimes you get more attention in smaller clubs / squads and that can be a real confidence boost.

I personally think coaches make or make squads and clubs rather than hours etc,

Ds moved from a small club (local para hub club) to a bigger club when the time was right as he needed to train more hours etc. that's very normal nationally.

He loved the coach. When that coach moved clubs he went - as did many other swimmers.

Great coaches are underestimated.

A great coach brings out the best in everyone and finds those swimmers with hidden talents.

So sorry to hear about miniHello.

For me, mental health comes foremost. No debate! It is easier to repair something before it is broken.

It is so easy to get sucked into the whole "we must train and train and race and train" routine. The harsh reality is that there are just a few kids that will go on to swim for their country.

I can't remember how old DS is, but I seem to remember that he is at the age where puberty is kicking in at a different pace with each boy. Mentally and physically.

Why does DS swim? It doesn't sound as if it is for friendship (his training must be grim with fellow swimmers like you described). Is it for fitness? Is it for medals? Do you/he want to continue swimming? Would you/he be devastated if he stopped?

Even if he did stop club swimming, there is nothing to stop him taking up Masters swimming at 18+. Our club has a growing Masters group; a good 1/2 dozen of which head off to Masters Meets.

Some thought provoking questions thanks @Madcats.

I recently asked him if he enjoyed swimming and he said yes. He enjoys training and enjoys racing (it can't be for the medals as he doesn't often win them).

We need a good chat I think but he is a very closed book so not sure how much it will help. Other than I will let him know all he has to do is say the word and he can move club, change squad, quit all together.

Trying to get anything out of mine is impossible unless he wants to say it, it's difficult. Can't shut the other one up! See how it goes in the car going to or from the pool, could he volunteer info this way?