DS(9) still can't swim after years of lessons - how to approach it and how to motivate him?

[Yesterdayyesterday]

I feel so sad about this today. DS is in Y5 and I've been taking him for swimming lessons since Y1 and he is making such slow progress. He can do about 10m on his back and maybe 5 on his front but it feels so far from where he needs to be.

We've tried several different swim schools, for various reasons including scheduling and just trying to find somewhere that clicks. Recently I decided that the pool he was in (teaching pool) was too small and shallow as he puts his feet down regularly when swimming rather than doing the whole length.

So today I took him to the local council pool which is a full size one. Annoyingly I booked him on the wrong class - stage 2. I felt that was pretty humiliating for him as he was with a bunch of 5 year olds and it was too basic. The stage 3 class looked better but the kids still looked a lot younger.

I'm not sure what to do - try to get a stage 3 spot or do 1-1 lessons, or go back to the last place which at least was quiet and friendly. Also, he doesn't really enjoy swimming either so I need some way of motivating him to go.

can he dog paddle and tread water? at this point i'd work on strength and comfort playing about in water not form.
but yes hours and hours of playing in water.

I think I’d just give it up for a bit. Realistically, he’s not going to be safe in wild water, so I’d concentrate on safety messaging around staying well away.

I think you need to find a 1 to 1 teacher. He's a slower learner in swimming and you want him to learn. You can see the other kids are a lot younger. It's ok if he's new to swimming but he's not. He must feel down about it. A 1 to 1 teacher will be able to work at his pace and concentrate on what he doesn't get.

My kids are at higher level but a lot of it is about swimming the four strokes correctly. I assume you'll want the teacher to work on one stroke (for example front crawl) and getting your child to swim lengths of it instead.

I can only do breast stroke because I was taught by my dad to only do that. But I can easily swim ten lengths of it. It might be a much more achieveable goal then trying to get three strokes correctly for your child.

@Boomboom22 5m on the front for a 9yo is not a swimmer! A 9yo can kick and glide that far from the side of the pool forward usually without actual strokes. It's different for a 3 year old. DC2 is the same age so I know how strong and far they can glide.

One to one isn’t any kind of magic solution. DS must have had hundreds of hours one on one or one on two between the ages of six and eight, to no avail. He finally ‘got it’ aged 11, but will never be someone who enjoys swimming.

I am surprised to hear 1 to 1 isn't great. Mine goes to small group lessons. DC1 wasn't a natural and took a long time to get it. Her learning also was interrupted with covid. DC2 is a much better with physical skills. I used to take both to a local council teaching pool for fun swims and encourage DC1 to swim. However, I found it was not very useful because DC1 kept putting her feet down on the floor. She's not allowed in the main pool because her swimming was too weak.

You mentioned that he has trouble coordinating his limbs which will make swimming very challenging for him. Swimming is a bit of an art, and so tricky if coordination doesn't come easily.

I wonder if some occupational therapy could help him? There may be some exercises (fun ones) he can incorporate into daily activities to help him manage swimming techniques.

Is there a local pool that divides them up by ages as well as stages? Ours has the stages but split between 5-8, 9-12, teenagers and adults which means they can be at a lower stage but not with teeny tiny children.

1:1
Definitely
No more groups - they do not work for your child

I haven’t read all the posts, but if you can afford 1 to 1 lessons I’d 100% recommend them. My eldest had lessons for quite a few years, not as long as your son, but she seemed to get to a certain stage and then make no more progress. We ditched the lessons and booked some 1 to 1 sessions and they were transformative. The teacher helped her overcome the barrier she had got to in just two sessions and she went from strength to strength and my middle child had also benefitted hugely. We don’t have them regularly, partly as the teacher didn’t have a regular slot, but also it would be tricky for us logistically. It suited us better to do a few days of lessons in a row in school holidays. And even though that was more sporadic the focus on it really helped them and increased their confidence when we went swimming in between times. We lucked out with an amazing teacher though.

No idea OP but DC is 12 and still can't swim more than about 2 metres.

We did group lessons, tried 1 to 1.

Maybe some people just can't swim 🤷‍♀️

1:1 lessons. My youngest made amazing progress in a week one summer. We'd move to a school with good provision and he was behind.

I'm not sure it's about coordination as DC is a dancer so very well coordinated in general, just can't swim! But then neither can his dad

Why not try teaching him yourself? He might get on better that way

Mine could only a do a couple of metres after lots of lessons. In frustration I told him he could have £20 if he could swim a length.

Boom. 25m done.

@Yesterdayyesterday I would suggest having him assessed for dyspraxia. My DS was stuck at a swimming level due to his swimming style/co-ordination.

Give him a goal, like one of those inflatable courses or kayaking session. They usually say 25m. Then go as often as possible as a family not lessons.

If he is happy when in the water (ie not scared) just take him to a leisure pool with slides, wave machines and those fountain things. Have (safe) fun in the water - rather than dull tedious lessons.

Do reward but not with something he'd find scary and hate ffs! What an idea. Keep doing it so I can make you do swimming as fun. Never mind the fact noone who us not an actually secure swimmer should ever do these obstacle courses, haven't 2 people died in these lakes who were string swimmers this year alone? Under the float or caught their leg in a tie.

How good do you want him to get before he can stop? I've agreed with my Dd age 9 she can stop going when she's finished stage 5. That's her motivation!

Just swim for fun, he'll love having you in the pool with him, you can play water It...that'll get him moving! Both mine are good swimmers now, despite having very few 'formal' lessons. I just used to blob around the pool with them (I did wear a wetsuit top, as I'd get cold not moving around very much!)

1:1 lessons , the teacher can get to the bottom of what he is stuck on and hopefully come up with a solution .

Take him to a really good OT. Dyspraxia (or more properly DCD) can be more subtle. While one area, say balance can be in a really high percentile, another might be really extreme. Gross motor skill, Balance, fine motor skill, core strength, asymmetrical coordination can vary wildLy and even SEN teachers can conflate them as a lump and say things like x and or y skill is ok then it can’t be DCD. Only a good OT will test all aspects and let you know what is going on.
interesting experiment might be to see how he is at breast stroke. Crawl can be very difficult coordination, but a breast stroke although harder to master initially is symmetrical and can be easier if cross coordination is a problem.
Good Luck to him.

Mine never had weekly lessons but we did go to a pool every week as a family. They then did a week long intensive course so 30 minutes every day at aged 4, as they are doing it daily it helps them to remember what they learned the day before. Mine knew that unless they could swim lengths and improve their stamina then they could not do the rapids at Center Parcs. That was a motivator. They just did some lengths at the family sessions but we went twice a week as it was included in the gym membership price.

They have to practise what they have learned. 1 to 1 with them in the water is probably the best and if you can do an intensive week long course book that. They are usually at private schools during the school holidays.

I agree with this