How important are extra curricular activities?

[bettyboop1000]

In a nutshell I cannot afford any activities outside of school. Swimming, gymnastics, brownies...all things they would like to do. They play instruments in school and I pay for this but that is as far as my budget stretches.

I feel terrible as all their friends do lots of activities. They do understand that we can’t afford it and say it’s ok, but I can see they are disappointed. I know swimming is important and I do try to take them and this year my oldest will go with school.

So my question is, are these things important?

It's important to have interests but lots of interests can be had for free or very cheap. Play football in the park, join a parkrun, go to the library (often have free kids events of all sorts at ours), learn to knit or embroider or do origami or write stories.

Music is a great one and I would choose that if I could only have one thing for the kids because I love it myself. In fairness though, even in school lessons are usually expensive relative to other hobbies. A choir might be a cheaper way to nurture a music interest. Or I don't know if still the case but church choirs used to actually pay the kids to take part. Dance like music gets expensive if they want to do performances and exams, but basic lessons are in a much bigger group than music so cheaper. I think scouting/guiding are relatively cheap activities too? Just wondering if you might be able to be more targetted in your choices so they can get two official activities rather than one. Also if I was limited I'd choose after school activities not at school ones as entertainment is already laid on for free at school. But maybe you get a super deal for in school lessons making it worthwhile.

Personally I'd ditch the music and do brownies or similar instead. Our brownies is only £35 a term and my kids love it and do loads of activities.

I’d keep the music- great skill, life long 😊

Not as important as being brought up to be able to live within your means! There's a huge selection bias in asking on this particular board. Out in the real world most children don't get to learn an instrument or do gymnastics, let alone both. Some will be at after school club for childcare 5 days a week.

Brownies is usually one of the cheaper activities, or there's a drama club near us that's £1 a week and DS has had 2 terms of cricket training and matches for less than half of the cost of school group music lessons. All are run by lovely volunteers. You could consider your children taking a year off from their instruments to try something else if they're really keen, or if the instrument stops being fun. But it sounds like you've picked carefully what their activity is, for them to get the most out of it. We all have limits on what opportunities our children have, whether financial, limited time etc. Ultimately I don't think it'll make much difference if they do 3 activities or one. It sounds really trite but genuinely, the main thing is they have a parent who takes an interest in them and really cares. And your children clearly do have that. Whether you can afford riding lessons is neither here nor there.

they are doing an activity though it just happens to be during school time. Lots of people who go to brownies or football outside of school probably couldn't afford to do music lessons. As long as they enjoy the one thing they do do. I know kids who do a ridiculous number of different activities, some of them thrive on it, some are just doing it because it fits in round their parents work hours and would prefer to do less. You are giving them what you can, I would find out if they want to do the music or might prefer to do something else instead. I gave up ballet for brownies as I couldn't do both.

Do not ditch the music.

It is a lifelong thing and if they like it keep.it. Also certain grades may give UCAS points which may or may not be important depending on what they want to do later.

I wish I had learned an instrument.

Are there any musical activities outside school that they could get involved with - orchestras, groups, choirs, county music schools etc? DS and his music friends do 7.5 hours a week of extra-curricular group music making, for the sum of £100 per academic year, and it has led to additional groups, days etc which are often free.

I would also agree that having 'regular' but not formal activities ('On Tuesdays after school we always go to the park, every other week on Sundays the whole family goes swimming, we go to the library to change our books every other Saturday' can be a really good substitute for 'paid for' activities. Also keep an eye out for free events of all kinds at libraries, museums, parks, music venues, bookshops, historic places: I was a real magpie for these and we went to all sorts of odd events of varied quality, but it opened my DC's eyes to a whole variety of things that we might not otherwise have encountered.

I would also add that children will nearly always want to do more. they are often a bit like magpies. mine do dancing and would dearly love to do a lot more but we can't afford it, they understand this and like you say they say it is ok but they look disappointed. It is also frustrating if they do show a lot of promise but you can't afford to nurture that. HOWEVER there is a plus side to it in that mine understand budgeting well which a lot of their friends don't. Every term we sit and talk about what they do, how much it is and whether they want to carry on with it or change to trying something else. They can't add to it, but they could exchange it if they chose to. They often choose to have workshops or something as birthday and Christmas presents instead and will add presents from Grandparents together to pay for themselves to do something. An activity that costs say £5 a week over a term would be £50-60. Christmas present money could pay for that for a term for example.

I would agree, don't feel pressured to do more than you can afford. Music is so valuable. You might find that a large orchestra does workshops or come and play days for children which are often free eg. BBC Scottish symphony does come and create days 3/4 times a year which my kids love, they are for those who can play 3 notes ( or less, as you can do percussion and sing) up to very capable amateur s. Our library does lots of free things. Also, it costs nothing for them to practice their instrument regularly and get good at that. Some of my friends kids do so many activities they have absolutely no time to practice ( or even for homework).

If you want to do more stuff could you do parkrun or junior parkrun? They're free and lovely to do.

I think learning to swim is important but that doesn't have to be done in formal swimming lessons.

I'd have thought music, gymnastics and swimming were on the school curriculum anyway. They were at my kids' school and at mine back in the day.

Going to the park, riding bike, playing music and dancing, concerts in the back garden - all free. Not everything has to be structured.

My 9yr DS does swimming and Coderdojo so just 2 evenings a week. Might drop swimming as they're supposed to be going with school this year.
I didn't do any after school activities as there wasn't the money and I'm certain it didn't hold me back. I don't have any natural musical ability either although DH does. His family were skint too but he learnt the basics at school and has an ear for it.
CoderDojo is for children from 7 upwards to learn computer coding, web design, robotics etc. It's also free to attend so if any of your kids enjoy geeky pursuits, maybe check online to see if there's one near you?

Thank you for all the wonderful advice. They do enjoy the music as this is what they wanted to do. I think doing the park run is a great idea so will look into that. Also seeing what the library has to offer.

They understand we don’t have any spare money and do understand budgeting as they are very involved in food shopping. They have discussed in depth between them and have told me not to worry about buying them Christmas presents as Father Christmas will bring them something!

Ah they sound lovely kids.

Google "free stuff to do" in your area - sometimes it's amazing what comes up. Plus you can do other free stuff (depending on age):
Gather stuff to make a collage from a walk;
Dress up in old clothes
Do model making (not free but cheap)
Knit/sew
Bake or cook a meal together
Could also be free museums in your area

If I could only afford to do one it would be swimming. That is a life saving skill.

Swimming is the one thing that will be something they will pass onto their own children. For me swimming was compulsory up to 50 meters which is the gateway for lots of activities. My Ds now takes himself down to the local pool with friends. To go on the inflatable they must be able to swim 50 meters.

If they are interested in brownies/cubs or similar , but the costs are beyond your budget, please do contact the local group and ask if they may be able to offer free or reduced places. Many groups will have a fund to cover subs/camp fees etc in cases where families don’t have much spare money for activities, as they believe scouts/guides should be open to all