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Original poster

June Music Thread

925 replies

Fleurdelise · 01/06/2017 08:00

Hello all and welcome to the June thread! Waffle did me the honours of asking me to initiate this thread as she has no access to Internet while on holiday.

This thread was first initiated by Waffle when Goo was 6 and now she's 11. It is a thread for all the musicians, big and small, to share their love (and frustrations Grin) during the long path of learning an instrument. I first joined when dd was 7 and in the process of preparing for grade 1 piano for moral support. If you read the ending of the May thread you'll realise I am still a nervous reck Smile here we are now, two years later, Dd is 9 and preparing for grade 5 piano and grade 3 clarinet, the exams are in exactly 13 days. I also have DS 15 who is in the middle of his GCSEs at the moment, he has no musical interest.

As I couldn't leave Waffle without an introduction, below is a quote from the May thread. The only correction is that I believe Rara has now turned 9. Smile

I have two daughters. Goo is 11 and in her last term at primary school. She's working towards her Grade 8 Flute (some time next year) and playing from the Grade 4 Piano book (currently refusing to take any exams, and putting off the first proper performance!). Rara is 8, may or may not be doing Grade 3 Cello this term, and is approaching Grade 2 Clarinet.

Both of them played the recorder for years, starting as preschoolers. They reached Grades 7 and 3 respectively, but sadly neither has really played since the music festival a few months ago. They are obsessed with their Flute and Clarinet, and really enjoy Piano and Cello. There won't be many opportunities to play the recorder at the secondary school they will attend, so much as I love it, it's probably a good time to quietly drop it. Recorder has given them both lots of opportunities, confidence, reading skills... and festival prizes!

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Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 16:44

Thank you all! The thing is no matter what anybody says she won't feel better about it. Even I telling her how I failed my driving test the first time didn't help. The thinks her exam was more important Hmm

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Minimusiciansmama · 13/06/2017 16:50

Aw minifleur hugs to you both, I'm sorry to hear it didnt go as hoped. Have you managed to establish how the pieces went once she restarted? Is this ABRSM or Trinity? (As in, do you have to wait to find out!) I do think it will be better than she fears. FlowersCake

LooseAtTheSeams · 13/06/2017 17:01

Poor MiniFleur and big hugs! It is so hard to do a music exam.
For what it's worth I passed grade 3 after starting the first piece again and completely messing up one of the scales (as opposed to slightly messing up the rest!) and I am sure they allow for nerves! CakeCake

Wafflenose · 13/06/2017 17:03

Poor thing, but it will all be OK. I think it's a rare pianist that DOESN'T ever have a re-start in an exam... I certainly did, and they do allow for nerves. I doubt the first one cost her anything at all, and the second one will be fewer than a handful of marks, as long as she wasn't 3/4 of the way through or anything.... How did the pieces go once she really got going? I also don't suppose she messed up all of the scales - did she tell you how many, or is she still in catastrophe mode? All professional musicians can tell the difference between slips in well prepared scales, and poorly prepared scales, I promise.

ealingwestmum · 13/06/2017 17:03

Yes please Drummers...I am also not very savvy with all things social media!

RapidlyOscillating · 13/06/2017 17:05

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icouldbeknitting · 13/06/2017 17:11

Fleur it's one of those life lesson things. If she gets really miserable and then finds that she's passed then another time she may learn to wait for the results before deciding that the worst has happened.

I don't think that there's anything you can say to make it better, I've had to live with DH after his G8 piano debacle (he threw the music on the floor mid-piece) and DS after his G8. In the end I opted for ignoring it totally and letting them mope if they wanted to. They were both old enough to know that it wasn't the end of the world.

Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:21

Apparently piece one, the Scarlatti, she was almost at the end, she made mistakes and restarted. I've asked why she restarted from the beginning. She said that's what the examiner said. But then she changed her story and apparently the examiner said "pick it up from where you can" and she decided she'll start again to do it better. Sad Made some mistakes again but finished it.

Slow Air she was a third in and literally had a mental block didn't know where she was and restarted it half way.

Summertime she said all the notes were wrong but I don't believe that as she would have stopped and restarted in that case.

Scales were rubbish but I can't gather how rubbish.

Sight reading: she played it better in the 30 sec but did lots of mistakes during the actual play.

Aural was fine.

It does sound like a fail, but I don't know how accurate her description is, a pass would be a nice surprise.

I really feel for her she was sobbing her heart out telling me how hard she worked on it. I really don't know what to say, how to move on, if she fails I am sure she'll want to give up.

I may let her have a break over the summer and restart in September, I don't know...

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Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:23

Thank you for all your kind words, one think is for sure, if she does pass no exams for a long time till she actually asks for it and is entered when she's way beyond that level.

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Wafflenose · 13/06/2017 17:24

But you wouldn't FAIL an exam for those restarts usually. You have to play them badly too, and it doesn't sound like that happened. I also expect her version of rubbish scales is 'slips in a few'. I wouldn't entertain any thought/ talk of giving up... is the teacher business-like enough to be straight on to the next Thing?

How was the clarinet, BTW? Sorry if I missed that... multitasking.

Wafflenose · 13/06/2017 17:26

I agree, no more exams for a long time!

Goo was playing a big sonata in her last flute exam, and hardly any sound came out for the whole of page 3. She carried on with the exam, then the teacher asked if she could go back and do that page again. Heaven knows why - bit of a risk if you ask me. She got a distinction, and the second attempt wasn't mentioned.

Kutik73 · 13/06/2017 17:28

Oh poor miniFleur... I feel for her, not because I believe it went as bad as she thinks but because she seems to have such a delicate soul. My DS is quite opposite to your DD. I usually have to expect lower than what he tells me as he is so optimistic that he almost always tells me he did perfectly (which often not true....). But even for such a bold person, I would feel pain and would be worried about his self esteem if he came out crying. In fact I feel for both of you.

I can't find any word that may cheer her up, but hope she knows that she has so many supporters here and that we all know she is a wonderful little pianist with lots of potential and musicality whatever the outcome. FlowersFlowersFlowers

Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:30

Waffle clarinet went ok, no major issues at all she came out beaming. I thought that will take the nerves away as it was the same examiner but she convinced herself in the last few days that she's weaker at piano and it seems like she went into exam convinced she'll do bad.

Teacher will move on quickly. She already has work lined up to progress further.

Obviously I need to see if she fails but if she does I do want her to do it again. I really don't want her last exam for a while to be a fail. I just need to reason with her.

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Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:32

Thank you all! I feel guilty that I put her through two exams in the same day. I should have pushed one a session later so we could have focused on one instrument at a time. I feel we were chasing too much for her.

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Wafflenose · 13/06/2017 17:37

Did I ever tell you all that I failed my Grade 4 clarinet exam? I was in Year 5, same as her. You can tell her that if you like - I am now a clarinet teacher. (Please don't tell her that I took my driving test 4 times though)

Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:42

Thank you Waffle I'll talk to her more after her piano lesson, I was reading on the forums and a lot of people agree that you lose marks but don't necessarily fail restarting pieces. Hopefully she'll get 101 (please God!) and we can move on.

Once the results comes in I'll probably push her into retaking in Nov if it's a fail or if she's passed move on and never do exams again till grade 8.

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Icouldbeknitting · 13/06/2017 17:47

Stop it right now with the "I feel guilty" and "I should have". What's done is done. If you'd arranged an exam in each session the piano exam could still have gone exactly the same way. Wait for the results to come out before you decide what to do next.

If she has failed it then it is not the end of the world, Nothing will change, no doors will shut and once she's taken the next one no-one will ever ask about the earlier ones.

Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:49

Thank you all!

She is also convinced she failed because the examiner apparently sighed at one point. I said to her it could have been because she was sorry for her in a "oh no" attitude but she's convinced it was a "that's bad" attitude.

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Original poster
Fleurdelise · 13/06/2017 17:51

Icouldbe I could hear it in my husband's voice (a bit of "we pushed it too much" meaning "YOU pushed it to much" as I am the head of music in this house) so I guess that's where it comes from but as her teacher said it was probably too much but we had to do it now, we've now learnt not to do it again.

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Icouldbeknitting · 13/06/2017 18:03

Wait for the results. There's nothing to be gained from trying to work out the marks because you weren't there and she wasn't in a position to evaluate her own performance. Stick with the old Mumsnet favourite of focussing on the effort, P/M/D doesn't matter because it's only a snapshot and we all know that you're a good pianist.

This is really hard for you if you think that this is all your fault (which it isn't) and yes, it is upsetting. What you don't want is for this to come across as "mum is upset because I've done badly" when it's really "mum is upset because she blames herself for making me cry".

Icouldbeknitting · 13/06/2017 18:05

or even "blames herself for me crying". It's my first language and I can't even get that right.

Greenleave · 13/06/2017 18:24

Oh Fleur, hugs to you and miniFleur, I definitely go with loads of ice-cream/treats tonight for her and a large chilled glass of wine for the stressed mother, you are both so deserved it. What is done is done, I like festivals in away that I can hear and see her playing and the comments read outloud later, no closed door, no waiting, I wish ABRSM can do this one day. For now just find whatever way to cheer you both up. Its really nothing in long run as many people only need to say how good they were at grade 8 exam(for those amateur) if they still play, many dont even take 1-7: waste of time and money. Lets enjoy the next couple of weeks until the result, by then things have changed so much already not mentioning she might have done much much better than she thought.

se22mother · 13/06/2017 18:29

Hugs to mini fleur. Fingers crossed

AlexandraLeaving · 13/06/2017 18:29

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stringchild · 13/06/2017 18:40

Fleur - try not to worry; dd's friend restarted two pieces in his g7 piano exam and restarted some scales, and he got a distinction. He was so worried, but the examiner's are very skilled at assessing appropriately. I am glad the clarinet went well - hopefully that will reassure minifleur. And yes give both of yourselves a break and do lots of lovely festivals etc instead :)