Committed children (for want of a better description)

[KatyMac]

I thought I'd start a thread for those of us with 'committed children' - this is a made up name for those children who might have a bit of talent (& equally might not) but who work really really hard at their chosen activity to the detriment of most other things. Often sports (gym, football, athletics) dancing (like my DD) or music take on a whole life of their own and 'overtake' the family.

I'm sure there are other parents out there dealing with this and I wondered if we could chat/swop strategies etc?

Anyone up for it?

My son is mad on singing and playing his guitar.

Hmm. I have a DD who has a huge desire to perform and committs sufficient time to her activities that others comment and question it and I review it a lot. But her school are happy, her Gp is happy and she is managing it all so I am wondering a bit why I even question it.

She does 6 hours gym, 6 hours swimming, five hours of dance and theatre on top of her school schedule which also includes netball and swimming before school. She is 9

It is a push on a couple of nights - on a Tuesday she finishes school at 3.45 then goes to gym until 6.00. I pick her up, feed her in the car and she swims from 6.30 until 8.30.

I figure it will calm down when she picks her sport. At the moment I could cut down the hours if I stopped her doing one of them. But she is so bloody happy and the one she would chose to give up would be swimming, which of course is the one I am most keen for her to do as it helps her asthma in a way nothing else does.
I don't know. I am just watching really. She will be an idle teenager soon enough I expect. Not much of a strategy really

My DD is 14 and not so much an idle teenager......20 hours plus school a week

Reallytired that could be loud.....how much do you put up with and how much is great?

& I agree about having your judgement/decisions questioned; it annoys me because it is hard enough to make those decisions in the first place

I think it's a bit different in the uk. Certainly here with dance, it's really common to see girls sitting in the foyer at competitions with their school books spread out, knowing they've got an hour or two before their next performance. It's kind of accepted that if you have the discipline to be competing, then you are also pretty disciplined with everything else - schoolwork included. It kind of permeates your life.

Dd1 had to stop swimming as training clashes with dance. So now she dances for 9 mos a year, and then swims for two months in the summer. We know she's not going to race now, but it's a neat way round it. And keeps her strokes up in case she does up and quit dance. (not on the horizon, but she knows she won't dance professionally, so wants to keep her options open).

She's also working for some pathfinder award, and just finishing a mentorship project, with a list of stuff she still wants to do (climbing this summer, apparently).

My son plays classical guitar. He also sings in a local church choir and a county choir and does quite a few music activites that he wants lifts to. Ie. He wants to join a guitar ensemble, he wants to do a rock school.

He has been doing guitar for a year and it seems to be taking a life on of its own. My fear is that he wants to take up the drums.

That sound like DD madwomanintheattic she just pulled her E in English at Christmas to a B by halfterm.....the reason? No dance unless she is passing......

My DD will dance professionally in one way or another - she has her first professional gig in a month, no pay yet (but it won't be long I imagine)

Reallytired how old is he?

DS races on his bike, under 8s - has done since he was 5, he is now 6.

DS is keen once he's out on a training ride, and adores racing, but Boy is he grumpy when I say we can't go to the park after school because he needs to do 30 mins training first. Once we get 5 mins into the ride he is fine, happy as a larry and really rather fast.

Other than regular rides with me or DH at the moment his only time commitment to this sport beyond travelling to races is a fortnightly coaching session, 25 miles away. In winter we go regularly as its on a Saturday, but in summer it switches to a school night, to which I won't take him. YET, when he's a little older and has a later bedtime, maybe.

Other training ( that he doesn't see as training ) is a weekly swimming class and a dance class. both good cross training AND fun. Thus far he has done well in races by luck and a desire to ride fast. I'm aware that as he gets older it will get more competitive.

Soundproof the garage, really tired .

We're contemplating it as we're about to have a tap floor put into ours....

Road racing, or mountain, uni?
We have fab mountain bike facilities here - a trail centre which is used for x country ski in the winter, and bikes in the summer. There are bike and racing clubs and clinics everywhere you look.

I have a 12 year old dancer - ballet+pointe, tap, modern, jazz, musical theatre. She does festivals (song and dance and lyrical solos) and is absolutely set on a career in it. Problem is she is starting to let the schoolwork slip and it is causing friction between us as she is academically very able and I am not willing to let her throw that away when the competition for dance colleges is so fierce.

KateF as you see I have the same problem; every bad grade = losing a class for a term seemed to work for my DD; might it for yours?

I said if English wasn't a C by halfterm a class would go after halfterm & she knew I meant it

Road- closed circuit races only- He has done a cyclo cross training day and a MTB coaching session which he enjoyed and kept up OK on despite being youngest one there.
But given the bike he has ( and I have) and his age, road suits best at present. The two cycle clubs in our county with junior coaching sessions are both 25+ miles away from home. The most local won't work with under 12s.

When DS grows up he wants to - be a bike racer and a builder and live in the French mountains, race his bike and build houses in summer and ski all winter!

Ds is ten years old so we don't have to worry about academic work yet. Its just tireness.

His guitar playing started out as a 30 minute group lesson through school. He got fed up with the other in his group so we opted for 20 mintues individual lesson. He is supplementing his lessons with youtube, has taken up ukelede wants to go to rock school ten miles away, a guitar esemble, chuch choir and a county choir. The church choir is a big commitment because there is a practice on Friday, weddings on saturday and often two services on Sunday. The number of services over easter is quite heavy as well.

He also does chess club, karate twice a week and his school wants him to attend a maths club.

We really need to review his hobbies as it is out of control.

Yes Katy I am taking that approach but have to give half a terms notice or be charged which means it's not really immediate, more's the pity. I am refusing to9 sign her up for a musical theatre workshop until her maths enrichmentis done though (evil mother I am apparently).

ReallyTired - reviewing is hard; deciding what is affordable (both time & money) and what has to go

DD has lost: Guides, Sunday school, Glee, Theatre, Arts award, street, Choir & piano. We have stuck with Ballroom & latin, and drumming & started Ballet, Contemporary, Modern. tap & african dance

Salsa is a want atm but very few classes let in children

Music with us, all 3 DC. They all learn at least 2 instruments and between them play in 11 bands and sing in 2 choirs. Between them they also manage Explorer Scouts, Scouts and Cubs, Taekwondo, ballet, cheerleading, swimming, chess, netball, football, D of E, drama, gymnastics.

After school is a huge jigsaw puzzle of lifts.

DS2 wants to audition for the cathedral choir but I am delaying this until after the summer.

We have ballet, tap, modern, drama, singing and jazz. Piano, drama club and school choir at school and about to start rehearsals for a touring show.

I made her give up after school hockey. She would like to add contemporary but it clashes with ds's swimming.

Am currently debating whether to let her audition for a specialist school but despite being very commited she doesn't want to perform as a career, possibly becasue dh works in the performing arts industry so she knows what it is llike.

Hi UniS. I have another 7 yr old fanatic. bmx and road.
racing since he was 4.
we may meet one day.

ah, unis, tell him the canadian rockies are much cooler. he needs to live here

i didn't list the other stuff. just the main ones.

we have 4 world class downhill ski resorts within half an hour, too.

weirdly, there are some really cool dance workshops held here too. i've managed to convince ds that he had to give up ice hockey.

So we all recognise them but is 'committed children' the best description? Is there a better way to describe the phenomena?

Nuts!!

Wow. Seriously nuts!

I'm in awe, really. Doesn't that all cost a fortune?? I just can't imagine being able to afford to give my children those opportunities.

I have 6 year old DD who goes to Special School, but has been determined that she'll be a farmer when she's older. I don't think she'll be co-ordinated or strong enough, tbh, but we're moving house and it has a big garden, so we'll get chickens and a veg patch.

I have 4 year old DD2 who can whistle and loves to sing.

And almost 3 year old DD3 who pulls loads of funny faces and is hillarious.

Nuts?
Lougle, I have a child with profound special needs myself.
I do my best for all my children. Just because my DD is peculiarly focussed and energetic does not make supporting her 'nuts'. I supported my DS1 who wanted to to play rugby, do his homework and gang out with his friends. And I support DS2 who has entirely different needs.

I can afford it. What's the problem?

[sigh] and no, you are not inadequate. I am sure your dc are happy.

If I didn't find constructive outlets for DD she would spend the whole evening doing handstands or working out dance routines in her bedroom or the sitting room. She is a fucking nightmare to be honest. At least this way she is not doing anything dangerous and I don't have to watch her endless productions.

This subject will just attract criticism. Like real life.