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Original poster

Should I reduce how much exercise I do? By how much? (possible TW)

42 replies

123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 13:57

I had a pretty healthy exercise regime until a couple of months ago.

I was doing 40min exercise videos in the mornings 4 or 5 days a week (4 X dumbbell workouts and one body weight cardio or pilates). Maybe an hour or two each of cycling or walking (more some weeks) and about 5 hours of water-sports per week (now only 1.5 hours as I've been made to promise to stop going out alone).

A couple of months ago my mental health suddenly fell apart a bit and due to anxiety and some OCD stuff and my exercise levels have ramped up (up to 8 hours a day at one point).

I can't keep still or stop doing the exercise videos in every spare half hour I have. I'm doing intense cardio workout several times a day, dancing manically if I have a spare few minutes, using TV time to do extra crunches or glute bridges, and squats and calf raises while the kettle is boiling or brushing my teeth. Sometimes I get up in the night to do extra ones too.

I am in therapy but no one will tell me how much is ENOUGH and how much to reduce it by. The amount I was doing before feels unfeasible and I want to be moving ALL the time, and feel intense guilt and anxiety if I'm still for more than a few minutes.

I know the therapy is the key but I would love some advice as well. How do I reduce it and how much by?

OP posts:
TheOliveFinch · 05/12/2025 14:14

Clearly this obsessive amount of exercise is triggered by your anxiety and needing to be active, would you be able trying replacing some of your high octane cardio with some slow flow yoga or even yin yoga which is still allowing activity but hopefully will also help to quieten your mind a little. I also have anxiety and do exercise every day but manage to keep it to no more than 2 hours a day and mix it up , I find yin yoga very calming and just do you tube videos usually with Kassandra.

Ohthatsabitshit · 05/12/2025 14:19

If it was me I would look at replacing the exercise with something else rather than reducing it. I always find it easier to “do” something than to “not do something”. So in your case I’d play to your strengths and introduce warm up and down meditation before and after exercise. If that’s too big a step try a yoga flow or taichi, to move with grace rather than raise your heartbeat.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 05/12/2025 14:23

That sounds really difficult for you. Is there a difference between someone else telling you the 'right' amount of exercise and you just deciding to go back to your previous level? I mean in terms of whether or not you are likely to be able to limit yourself considering you want to be moving all the time. If it's so compulsive that you feel anxious and guilty for not moving then is it likely that you will find workarounds, eg not 'exercising' but energetically hoovering the entire house for a third time in one day?

Can you do a displacement activity that will keep you still for short periods and try to extend that? I doubt you would be able to meditate in your state of mind, but perhaps something like online tai chi which is slow, mindful movement, or even a jigsaw or diamond painting or similar. Do it for two songs or one chapter of an audiobook, and then extend the time when you can.

Is there anything that you can watch that soothes you? I particularly like YouTube videos about tiny homes for instance, also videos about strange pet combinations like tiny kittens that fall in love with massive dogs.

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:30

Do you have an eating disorder, @123456789xyz ?

Original poster
123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 14:40

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:30

Do you have an eating disorder, @123456789xyz ?

Yes, in and out of in-patient treatment 2004-2019 but since then have only had one serious relapse two years ago. But things are pretty bad right now, I think it had been lurking and now had come swooping back in to shut all the other stuff up. My mum died a few months ago (I had been her main carer for more than 5 years) and I think that, plus lack of sleep, has triggered it.

But I agree with PP that some more gentle exercise to replace at least some of the cardio and intense activity will be really helpful. I'm going to try the yoga videos @TheOliveFinch suggested and maybe some stretching and pilates for the rest of today as a test and not doing anything else more intense than that.

OP posts:
Original poster
123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 14:42

The water sports centre I've been going to has also just emailed and asked me to stop coming at least until the new year. Which is painful. That's another 1.5 hours a week down (more if you count the hour it takes to cycle to and from). So I'm panicking about that a bit now.

But I do have some housework to do so I will try to use that instead of cardio to distract me for now.

OP posts:
bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 14:59

123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 14:40

Yes, in and out of in-patient treatment 2004-2019 but since then have only had one serious relapse two years ago. But things are pretty bad right now, I think it had been lurking and now had come swooping back in to shut all the other stuff up. My mum died a few months ago (I had been her main carer for more than 5 years) and I think that, plus lack of sleep, has triggered it.

But I agree with PP that some more gentle exercise to replace at least some of the cardio and intense activity will be really helpful. I'm going to try the yoga videos @TheOliveFinch suggested and maybe some stretching and pilates for the rest of today as a test and not doing anything else more intense than that.

Show quote history

You've done really well to maintain your progress for so long. I'm so sorry you lost your mum recently 💐. From your previous treatment, do you have a care plan or blueprint for how to support yourself in case of relapse? It sounds like a great idea to wind down your exercise into some more gentle activity as a first step. Wishing you all the best. Please be gentle with yourself. You've come through this before and you will again x

ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 15:22

I am in therapy but no one will tell me how much is ENOUGH and how much to reduce it by. The amount I was doing before feels unfeasible and I want to be moving ALL the time, and feel intense guilt and anxiety if I'm still for more than a few minutes.

There's really no formula for this. We really shouldn't advise - this is a therapist's job. Any formula or judgement about what is "enough" is likely to feed your illness.

5plusno · 05/12/2025 15:27

This reply has been deleted

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5plusno · 05/12/2025 15:28

123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 14:42

The water sports centre I've been going to has also just emailed and asked me to stop coming at least until the new year. Which is painful. That's another 1.5 hours a week down (more if you count the hour it takes to cycle to and from). So I'm panicking about that a bit now.

But I do have some housework to do so I will try to use that instead of cardio to distract me for now.

Come again
a poxy 1.5 hours a week and they’ve banned you until the new year??!!

what was the wording they used?

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 15:32

5plusno · 05/12/2025 15:28

Come again
a poxy 1.5 hours a week and they’ve banned you until the new year??!!

what was the wording they used?

Show quote history

Please don't. If you read the thread, this isn't helpful to the OP.

5plusno · 05/12/2025 15:37

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ParmaVioletTea · 05/12/2025 15:45

I suspect there may have been other factors or behaviours.

To repeat: ANY suggestion of an appropriate minimum of exercise is not going to help @123456789xyz as she has a mental illness, and any sort of formula or recommendation will exacerbate her condition. This is a therapist's job.

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 05/12/2025 15:47

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She's clearly eating disordered and addicted to exercise. Banning her for a while is completely responsible behaviour on their part.

itsgettingweird · 05/12/2025 15:58

Have you explored the need to move as sensory seeking? You may find there’s some other movements that help (look at proprioceptive input) that is less exercise and more about movements.

It sounds tough but you are seeking advice and using therapy so you are aware of the difficulty so are doing amazingly to address it.

TokyoSushi · 05/12/2025 16:11

Oh OP, this sounds really difficult, agree that it’s probably sensory seeking, can you replace your cardio with something still intense but not quite as ‘much?’

I recommend yoga for loads of things but it might be helpful here, an intense feeling but not quite as vigorous (I guess losing weight is actually the last thing you need.) Obviously this is just to tide you over while you get some help, wishing you luck.

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 17:22

Please stop advising about exercising. I know that's what OP asked for, but it's part of her eating disorder issues.

soupyspoon · 05/12/2025 17:39

Don't laugh OP but what about knitting? The movement of the hands is very fast which will help the need for movement and the time it will take you to learn it will take time away from the physical exercise

Original poster
123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 18:13

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 15:32

Please don't. If you read the thread, this isn't helpful to the OP.

Show quote history

Thank you for this. You are right, this person wasn't helpful. I didn't see their deleted messages and didn't want to reply to them directly in case they kept going - but it's worth me adding, they didn't ban me because of spending excessive time there. They banned me because I was overdoing it so much in that 1.5 hours and then collapsing. Repeatedly. And then not having the strength and energy to get back up. Which on a boat in freezing water is a risk to everyone.
They were right and I was being selfish and stupid.
I'm not sure how I'll face them again tbh.

OP posts:
TheOliveFinch · 05/12/2025 18:32

@123456789xyz you have got a lot of self awareness and realise your behaviour around exercise is problematic. Clearly you don’t want to replace one obsessive behaviour with another but hopefully you can look at ways to help calm your mind during this time , I wish you lots of luck

bigboykitty · 05/12/2025 18:38

123456789xyz · 05/12/2025 18:13

Thank you for this. You are right, this person wasn't helpful. I didn't see their deleted messages and didn't want to reply to them directly in case they kept going - but it's worth me adding, they didn't ban me because of spending excessive time there. They banned me because I was overdoing it so much in that 1.5 hours and then collapsing. Repeatedly. And then not having the strength and energy to get back up. Which on a boat in freezing water is a risk to everyone.
They were right and I was being selfish and stupid.
I'm not sure how I'll face them again tbh.

Show quote history

I didn't see them either. Why don't you thank the gym for caring about you enough to intervene and tell them you'll be back when you're ready and are doing better? I think it's really responsible behaviour from them and I'm so glad you understand what's going on.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 05/12/2025 18:44

I'm not sure how I'll face them again tbh.

I expect that when you are doing better they will be happy to see that you have improved.

ElectoralControversy · 05/12/2025 18:51

Wow, this sounds toughFlowers

Have you been assessed for any underlying conditions? DD has ADHD and autism, and it mainly shows up as OCD and anxiety... she also has borderline ED

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 05/12/2025 19:06

Have you lost weight? Loosing weight can trigger a compulsion to exercise which is why it’s so closely connected to anorexia.

You probably need to work on eating more and the compulsion to exercise will slowly naturally decrease.

Have you read any of Tabitha Farrah books? She’s very good at explaining how you need to reprogram your brain to recover from an ED.

RollyPollyBatFace · 05/12/2025 19:40

If I was you I’d stop all exercise completely. The whole lot. Replace with one hour of walking per day - and that’s a walk, not a hike:

do that for a month and then add in one 20 min weight session a week. Build on that

but clearly you aren’t able to regulate yourself right now or think straight so cut the lot out