Advice for a total exercise newbie

[ConfusedAndStressed95]

I am in my early 20's and I need to lose half of my body weight and I have no idea where to start. Over the past few months I have completely changed my diet and I am losing weight slowly but I really want to get fit, but I'm terrified of joining the gym or fitness classes.

My friends are gym goers and have offered to take me and show me around and work with me but I really don't want them to. I don't want them to see just how unfit I am. I'm working towards the Couch to 5k but I'm unsure about what else I could do. I used to play rugby as a teenager but I don't know if I want to go back to that type of commitment until I can run more than ten yards without feeling like I'll pass out.

I'm looking at local fitness groups but they're mainly aimed at older people and I'm not sure I'd fit in. Ideally I think I'd like to go to the gym but one that my friends don't go use. It's likely that I'd pay for a personal trainer for awhile until I know what I'm doing but I'm really afraid of sticking out like a sore thumb or having people judge me. I know I don't look massively overweight despite needing to lose so much as I 'carry it well' and that people of all shapes and sizes use the gym but it's a massive irrational fear. How do I get over this and make the seemingly minor but actually monumental step into new and better habits?

I started exercising in July this year. Before that I was spectacularly unfit & felt embarrassed by my lack of stamina. I went with a super fit friend & did cringe a bit at how weak/slow I was by comparison. I persevered though & am doing so much better now. The first 6 weeks were difficult but I don't ache constantly anymore!

I only do classes at the gym because I'm too embarrassed to ask about how to use the equipment & scared that I'll chicken out if I go by myself & don't know what to do. I do different classes to my super fit friend so I don't actually see her there at all anymore. There's a huge range of different people that I do see though. Some are proper athletes, although I only see them in passing - they don't seem to do classes. There's plenty of people at the other end of the scale too - very overweight men who've got health problems that losing weight should help with, postnatal women trying to lose their baby-weight, teens who find exercise good for their mental health, people with various disabilities... There's such a huge range of people at my gym that I'd be genuinely surprised if you were out of place at your friend's gym!

I have anxiety & depression & ASD runs in my family - no diagnosis myself but it's suspected. Exercise has been amazing for my mental health & just generally how I feel in myself. I'm still not entirely sure how I actually got started... It's really not something I would normally do but it all happened so fast - I heard my friend mention the gym, said I'd always wondered about trying the sort of class she was talking about & before I knew what was happening she'd signed me up for the next day & I enjoyed it so joined the gym before I left. Now I'm paying by direct debit every month I have the choice to go regularly, waste the money or have an actual conversation & tell them I don't want to be a member anymore. I don't do talking to people & we don't have money to waste so I keep going!

Honestly, don't overthink it. Just get on & sign up to a gym. I'd go with your friend's gym just because it's probably not dreadful if your friend goes there! Don't wait until you've talked yourself out of it, or "rationalised" it away, just do it! It'll be worth it in the end, honest!

My pp can be summed up in this quote that helped me a lot last year:

A year from now you'll wish you had started today

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

Exercise is brilliant for mind, body and soul but it doesn’t necessarily make you lose weight. You need to be in calorie deficit to lose any weight.
Have you got my fitness pal? That’s a good way of tracking how many calories you are eating.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly, I've been working up the courage for about a year as well. That's why I bought weights to use at home, but even those took awhile for me to actually use. I need to just take the plunge and go for it. The dietitian I saw said there was nothing she could do to help me lose weight as I eat really healthily and that if I started exercising and altered my portions slightly weight would start falling off and I want to lose weight and get fit but taking the first step is definitely the hardest. I don't think I'll start with spin class though it sounds very intense. I'm a sensory seeker so I quite like the sensation of muscle burn so I think once I've started I'll love it. It's just getting through the door. I may email the gym I'm considering and explain that I'm autistic and struggle in these environments and ask if I can be shown around before joining. If nothing else I'll get an idea of the atmosphere and what to expect without having to throw myself in at the deep end without a life jacket.

@BarbaraManatee, I love your username, are you a veggie tales fan? I don't think I'd enjoy classes other than spin class much but I do think it'll be good for my mental health. I know it surprises people but I can plank for a really long time because I'm good at 'getting into the zone' but thats about it. Since I was told to stop all activity I've never been interested in the gym or sports but my housemates goes everyday to lift and my really good friend is really really into fitness and is dying to get me to the gym or playing Frisbee, hockey or rugby with him. He knows I used to be really into fitness and I think is trying to bring that back despite not knowing the very fit me.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly, I like that quote. It's very accurate.

@BloodyCats, I track my calorie intake on LoseIt. I've been using it for just over a month now and have lost a total of six inches from various places.

Think again about going back to rugby!
You'll ge tlots of support from the other women on the team, motivation and team spirit.
There's room for everyone of every level in rugby, even if your general fitness is on the floor at the moment I'm sure you will be able to take part to whatever level you feel able.
And it'll get you back in the swing of it!

You can do this!

Email to the gym sounds fine if that will make you feel more comfortable. They will also be able to advise when the quieter times are.

Spin is as intense as you want it to be. There is nobody watching you to see how hard you are going and you can always pedal slower if you need a break. Its also good as non-weight bearing exercise. But you choose whatever class or activity you feel most at ease with.

@Ihaventgottimeforthis, I had considered it but I didn't think that they'd be pleased with an atendee that can't run more than a couple of yards without getting out of breath.

@BuzzShitBagBobbly, I hadn't thought about asking about quieter times. I am really tempted to try spin as my legs are very strong still. I might get out of breath but it won't be as difficult as using my upper body.

No rugby club I ever played with would ever turn anyone away. I've played with women who spent their whole career never able to run more than a few yards without stopping for a rest .

Tackling practice and so on will build strength so quickly without needing aerobic fitness, and you will get stronger so quickly and have some fun along the way, making it easier to stick with. Why not just try one?

@Ihaventgottimeforthis, that's reassuring to hear. I know I'm strong I just can't use the strength effectively currently. It's definetly something to look into. Though I'll either have to ask for new trainers from my mother or work through the pain of breaking these ones in.

I was a total gym newbie a couple of years ago. Having never really exercised regularly. My biggest tip is to go to the fitness classes run at the gym. I found this was the only way I would push myself (because someone else was up there doing it!). If I did the machines I would tend to quit before any kind of intensity kicked in so I need the structure and motivation of a class. If you have a PureGym near you they have loads of classes and pretty good value compared to other gyms.

Also, nobody cares what you look like in the gym, but I'm with you, I wouldn't want to go with friends. I know people who won't go to the gym alone ever, but that's how I prefer to work out.

I also weirdly loved doing the beep test.

You can get apps for this. Then you can take yourself off to a quiet park or street (or back garden!). Put a couple cones/shoes/sleeping dogs down to mark the distance and off you go! Brilliant way to track progress too!

(People at my gym regularly do spontaneous bleep tests if a few people fancy it, so you could think about that later on too?)

I'd also recommend signing up for parkrun (as people always mention) - a great accessible supportive way to start getting more exercise. And you can also volunteer as well - it's a good way to get into the habit.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do

Hey confused - well done on deciding to get fit. But can I just say you don't have to go to a gym to get fit - especially if it's not your thing.

Firstly - FITSTEPS!!! Have you ever heard of it? You say you like ballroom dancing - well this was devised by 2 of the Strictly pro's (Ian and Natalie) It is SO MUCH FUN and the classes are mostly frequented by OAP's or larger ladies - it's all based on ballroom and latin dances. You can find your local class here

Or if you like walking why don't you see if you can find a local hiking group to join.

There are loads of ways to et fit that are fun. I also find having an "appointment or commitment" to exercise - like a class I'm signed up to or booked in with a friend - makes me much more likely to stick to something.

Spinning is a good option - it's loud, it's dark and no one will see or care if you aren't doing exactly what the instructor says - it's a great way for bulding up cardio too.

Also everyone who has said - no one in the gym cares - are 100% on the money! Sometimes the biggest dear is just walking through the door for the 1st time.

Good luck whatever you do and make sure you are having fun

@BellatrixLestat, I think I'd prefer to just use the machines. I quite like pushing myself (when I'm motivated) but when I could exercise I found the classes intimidating and usually sensory hell as they we're more echo-y and louder with a decent amount of people in one room.

@BuzzShitbagBobbly, I didn't know that those apps existed. I'm not sure what it is about them I liked so much, probably the competition of it. I wasn't the fastest by any stretch but it was fun and I think it also felt less like exercise and more like a game.

@Ihaventgottimeforthis, I considered it but one of my friends does park run and he's lovely but he also regularly runs marathons. Plus I don't think I want people to know that I'm going or doing activity until it's habit and I'm in a routine and seeing results myself.

@sweetheart, I used to really enjoy the gym but now I find the idea intimidating but I feel like I'm itching to try the machines again. I'm looking for a walking and hiking group and I think I'm going to go to ballroom with my friend because she's 'dying' to waltz with someone who knows what they're doing. I think I'd enjoy spinning but I'd probably need to wear ear defenders. I liked weight training but I want to work on cardio first because I figure it'll help improve my stamina first.

I bloomin love weight training in the gym! It's my favorite!

For your cardio in that case you could do HIIT sessions at home. start with 20 seconds on / 20 seconds off x 8 and increase to 30 sec on / 30 sec off (do 3 rounds). Do anything in those "on" seconds that gets your heart racing - here are some examples for you (google them if your not sure):-

star jumps / jumping jacks
high knees
toe taps on your stairs
burphee
dancing like a crazy person
twisting jumps
touch the floor and then jump up in the air
lunges
mountain climbers
squats with a jump
punching
run on the spot
shuttle runs along your hallway

Op I would not be able to drag my feet through the door of a gym through sheer lack of confidence and embarrassment, I'm a size 12/14. I totally get the (irrational) fear. My husband and friends think I'm crazy and no matter how much people tell me nobody gives a shit about what I look like, the feeling in tummy tells me different and I can't get past it. I got a PT 1-1 sessions, was more money than I wanted to pay and I was still embarrassed and shy about giving it my all but without him and the motivation at each session I would have done zero! I got pregnant so stopped but I'm hoping to find another PT in the new year as this is the only thing in my mind that I feel comfortable with - do what makes you feel comfortable not what others expect you to be comfortable with

@sweetheart, awesome. I'll write that all down. I probably wont run in my hallway though. My housemates would think I've gone insane or actually drag me to the gym. Once I've more stamina I'll be more confident in weight training.

@whereishappyat, I think once I've gone a couple of times I'll be less self conscious but I need to get there first. I'm very much the person who can't relax enough in a club to dance. I'm just a naturally self conscious and tense person unfortunately. I think I'll likely get a PT right from the start because I think I'll feel less ridiculous when there's someone telling me what to do. Once I've found my feet I'd stop using them though I think because it's a lot of money that I don't really have. The only way I can justify it is that my health is a long term investment.

Good luck OP - Other posters are right. No one else cares - I watch other people at the gym, but always in admiration for what they can do.

I enjoy HIIT and lifting heavy stuff, and I know other people look at me & see me as very fit - but we all started somewhere - we all started at the beginning!

You might try so bodyweight style conditioning - there are some good routines on Instagram or YouTube. You can do rounds of push ups, squats, and burpees with just your body weight and in the privacy of your own home.

I couldn't do a push up to save my life 2 years ago, but now I can. I still can't do an unassisted pull up, but I'm working on it.

Mainly - get to the gym 6 days a week and do something there. Just getting there is the point.

But my PT says "You can't out-train a bad diet" so you do need to think about diet. I did it by meticulously tracking everything I ate. I tried to keep to 1500 calories a day with one day which was my "cheat" day. Weigh everything and use an app on your phone to track the calories.

It helps you start make sensible choices.

And - just finishing reading the thread - I am another who LOVES weight training - picking up heavy shit (5 sets of 4 deadlifts of 70kg each, with 2 minute rest gaps). I train quite heavy for my age and I love it. And it makes you strong and lean. And you get rest gaps!

@Awaywiththepiskies, I try to eat no more than 900 calories a day. It's a number that I worked out with my dietitian as I'm well below average height and I use the LoseIt app so I can track everything. I weigh my food before cooking it and work it out so I get the right amount of nutrients. Which tbh I'm not getting today but that is mainly because I've not been shopping. I think once I start going I'd go 6 days a week. I'd not do Sunday as on Sunday I'm really busy with Church.

Just go!

Re parkrun, there's a couple of things you can do to make it easier.
Check out where your local one is, and just happen to be there one morning. Don't join in, just wander along and see who is there - don't worry about the front runners who zip off at stupid speeds, every parkrun has them. Look for the groups who are jogging and walking, and also look for the tailwalker, who is the person who is the final finisher and makes sure no-one is left behind. I'm sure you'll find people at your level.
If you're not ready to go there, check out the results page on the website for the local race - look at latest results and see how long the final finishers take to do the 5k. Many people are around the hour mark, so you can reassure yourself that you won't be out of place, or at least know what you want to be at before you join in.
And you will get support from all the marshals there, I know, I am one!

Or I would recommend youtube kettlebell classes, especially bodyfit with amy. Nice short sessions from 10 - 40 minutes.

I've no issue going clubbing or dancing

If you weren’t keen on Zumba, look up your local Clubbercise ;) I LOOOOVE IT

^ i should add, it’s in the dark, no one sees you, they watch the instructor . Result